Escape plan...

[rk1191]

Hey guys.

I've put in my previous threads that I can't stand my SO's family. They shouldn't even be raising children because there are so many addictions and abuse that run within the family. He is visiting me for December, and his mom said that if there is a snowstorm and he can't fly back for Christmas, she is calling the cops, reporting my mom to the police, and getting him taken to a foster home temporarily... I know right?

Anywho...There is no way in hell his parents are going to let him live over here permanently. The only way is if he leaves when he is 18. He had to lie to his mom about what college he was going to, because if she thought he was going to move when he was 18, she wouldn't even allow him to come see me. My "escape plane" isn't for a few monthes, but I thought I would get some opinions...

1. I was going to visit him for 2 monthes until his birthday, and then we hightail it back to Kansas on a Greyhound bus.
or
2. I was going to visit him for 2 monthes, and he tells his family "I am going to go back with her for a couple weeks or a month or so, and then I'll be right back!" And then... he just doesn't go back...

Which would be better? Both will prolly get me some harassment from his family... Not like they can do anything about it.. (I really hope they don't follow us.. xD My plan to make sure they don't know what city I lived in failed.) ....The first plan is a little bit more mean.

Anyone going through similar things? Or am I the only one who has to go to drastic measures to end the distance lol

[Silviar]

I think that it needs to change from your plan to his plan. He has to be ready and willing to do it. And I think that since he'll be 18, he should prepare as best he can, like piling up as much savings as possible with what work he can get, make a plan, and then he can choose to inform them as much or as little as he wants.

And personally, I'd go for the cheapest travel option that maintains safety. No hitchhiking.

I hope he can get out, it sounds awful.

[Casey]

Yep, I agree with Silviar - save, save, and save!!!
Also, how does your mum feel about this? Is she going to be ok to house you both despite the circumstances? Or will you have to find your own house?
Also, with the drug addictions and abuse, I have to ask the question of: Will you guys be safe if you "run away"? I just ask you because I have had run ins with a few families, and well, they would come and get you if you pissed them off?
Also, chat to him, and as Silviar said, make it his plan. Are you sure this is what he wants to do? Is he caught up with the drugs and abuse? If so, will it be hard for him to leave that lifestyle and possible addictions behind?
Good luck!

[rk1191]

Thanks for responding.

I should have been more clear, its "our plan" and not just mine, I just came up with the details. He isn't caught up in their mess and even if we weren't together, he would move out when he is 18

I have briefly talked to my mom about it, (she likes the second plan more). She agreed to let him stay at her house until he gets on his feet (I live at my dads house, since its closer to my classes)

[mq1193]

Its is 'our plan' to do this. We have both talked it over before and come up with various ideas.
I am more than ok with leaving my family behind. Im not caught up in drugs or anything, its just a terrible lifestyle when your own mother manipulates everyone around her to get money with an alcoholic step dad. Then a father who is neglectful when his new random girlfriend is both schizophrenic and depressed. I live with both sides equally every day, so its not too good of an atmosphere. Especially for my younger sister(10).
My older sister's(26) fiance isnt too fond of our family also for all those problems they have. So he moved back to Washington when he said they were driving him insane and they will close their distance after they get married. She is moving away permanently too because they both cant handle the pressure of my mother hassling her and her fiance for money. My sister already lives 2 hours away. Its going to take states to get away completely. My little sister is possibly expected to go live with her in a few years, so she doesnt have to stay here alone and suffer.
Im just hoping this all flows and goes well.