To pay or not to pay?

[lucybelle]

More of a "alumni" thread, but I wanted all opinions!

My SO has had a toothache for a few days and I finally made him a dentist appointment for today. He's foreign so of course he has no insurance (here in USA). I asked about how much the visit + xray + filling would cost. They said minimum $250! Yikes!

Now I'm wondering if I should help him out with the bill. I could. I have a full time job. But I pay the rent, bills, and I buy the groceries every other weekend. I also paid his plane ticket over here ($400), which he says he'll pay me back for, but hasn't yet.

So... should I pitch in? We've only been living together for a few weeks. I'm always worried about investing in "people" financially. You know what I mean?

Oh-- and if anyone else has any suggestions on how to possibly lower medical costs while in the USA uninsured, I'd be glad to hear them!!!

[snow_girl]

I think that whenever you lend money you should do it knowing that you might not ever get it back. If you can afford to never see that money again then sure do it, but if not then maybe see if you can find another way to help him out. Try looking for a dental school around your area they charge you only for the materials and not the labour cause they are still students. They do a good job though cause they haven't got lazy and still do everything by the book and they have supervision

[mllebamako]

I agree with snowgirl: I don't usually lend money, I give money. I personally would pay for it. In our situation, I am the main financial supporter too. It doesn't really bother me because he does what he can and I know that there will be times in the future when he supports me.

Also try looking for a clinic for the uninsured. My mom works for one in Utah and they do basic appointments for free plus they can hook you up with vouchers for dental and vision. Hopefully there is something like that in your area.

[bluepotato1236]

if i can afford it, i would pay for it..and i also agree with them both..i dont lend money but i give money...If you love him, and his tooth is hurt i think you need to help it if he is not financially able at the moment..Just an opinion tho..:-)

[Silviar]

I really think that comes into how you as a couple want to handle money. People have all sorts of arrangements, from fully sharing all expenses to each paying for their own half of everything and keeping their individual money things just that - individual. If you haven't talked about it before, now's a good time to discuss how you're handling paying for everything, and then you can go from there on how to handle it.

[Dziubka]

If I could afford it, I would probably pay for it. And if I were in your SO's situation, I'd probably also expect you to pay.
That's not to say that you absolutely should. If you don't want to pay and he's ok with that, then that's fine.

But considering the situation... Obviously, I have no idea where he stands financially but if I had moved to another country, given up my job and taken up a credit to live with my boyfriend for a while and he had an ok-paying job, I guess I'd expect him to 'provide' for me. If he didn't offer it himself, I'd at least ask him to split the costs.

(That said, as a spoilt rotten socialist European , I would never move anywhere without at least basic health insurance. The mere thought of that makes me incredibly uneasy. It's one of the reasons it's taking me boyfriend and me so long to close the distance.)

[paulawriteslove]

I think you should talk to him about it. If you really want to pay for him, then there isn't a problem with it. But make sure he's comfortable with you paying for it! Best of luck

[OliveOyl]

usually dental students have to log volunteer hours, i know one of the hospitals here in LA will do dental work, not free by any means, but i think it is a lot cheaper. My roommate doesn't have insurance, so she goes to the area what do you call them? teaching hospitals? It is where all the uninsured go. He also should by some form of travelers insurance in case something happens like a car accident or something. never know, and always better to be safe.

[lucybelle]

Thanks for all the advice!

Disaster has been averted! For now at least... today he's feeling much better so I canceled the appointment. I guess we'll see if it stays that way.