Reluctant Closer
So, first off, I'm new here, and my name is Kat. My boyfriend, Josh, and I have been together just over a year, and we live about 180 a parts, myself in Massachusetts and him in Vermont.
Second, I talked about this subject with my therapist (whom I see occasionally for advice), but wanted to run this by some people in an actual LDR.
Josh was with his ex for almost ten years, actually married for just over two. They were broken up about a year and a half when we met. She cheated on him with one of his close friends, so needless to say, his heart was (and probably still is) broken. Since we started dating, things have been great. We see each other weekly, most of the time, and it's usually for a day or two, but occasionally only a few hours. He's been slow to commit, and given his past I was willing to wait. It took him eight months to tell me he loved me, and that was when we decided to try and close the gap. That was back in November 2010. We found a beautiful apartment near his current place in Vermont. I would be moving since I had lost my job recently and really only had family holding me back. I am close to my family, so I had reluctance at first, but once we found the apartment in February, I got excited at the thought of being with him all the time!! We signed a six month lease, and I had plans to move in March first. Well, a week or so before I was slated to move, Josh decided that he felt awful about me leaving my family (who I am incredibly close to) to move in with him. What if it didn't work out? What if he disappointed me? He really wants to live in San Diego, so what if he decided he just can't stand Vermont anymore? He asked me to please wait a little longer so he could make sure this is what he really wanted. Okay...so now it's almost the end of April and I'm still in my apartment, no closer to living with him. I'm super unhappy living apart and out relationship is suffering because of it. We are working to preserve it as best we can, but it's hard living apart (as you all know)! So, he's asked me to wait. I waited so long for the ILY, then for the move, and I'm sick of waiting. I love him deeply, and when we are together things are excellent. HELP! Where do I go from here? Anyone else out there have a reluctant man, due to past relationship failures?
Second, I talked about this subject with my therapist (whom I see occasionally for advice), but wanted to run this by some people in an actual LDR.
Josh was with his ex for almost ten years, actually married for just over two. They were broken up about a year and a half when we met. She cheated on him with one of his close friends, so needless to say, his heart was (and probably still is) broken. Since we started dating, things have been great. We see each other weekly, most of the time, and it's usually for a day or two, but occasionally only a few hours. He's been slow to commit, and given his past I was willing to wait. It took him eight months to tell me he loved me, and that was when we decided to try and close the gap. That was back in November 2010. We found a beautiful apartment near his current place in Vermont. I would be moving since I had lost my job recently and really only had family holding me back. I am close to my family, so I had reluctance at first, but once we found the apartment in February, I got excited at the thought of being with him all the time!! We signed a six month lease, and I had plans to move in March first. Well, a week or so before I was slated to move, Josh decided that he felt awful about me leaving my family (who I am incredibly close to) to move in with him. What if it didn't work out? What if he disappointed me? He really wants to live in San Diego, so what if he decided he just can't stand Vermont anymore? He asked me to please wait a little longer so he could make sure this is what he really wanted. Okay...so now it's almost the end of April and I'm still in my apartment, no closer to living with him. I'm super unhappy living apart and out relationship is suffering because of it. We are working to preserve it as best we can, but it's hard living apart (as you all know)! So, he's asked me to wait. I waited so long for the ILY, then for the move, and I'm sick of waiting. I love him deeply, and when we are together things are excellent. HELP! Where do I go from here? Anyone else out there have a reluctant man, due to past relationship failures?
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