Closing the Distance should be cloud 9, right?

[Alexandria Lora]

The closer we get to closing the distance the more stressful it seems to get.

I know this is normal and everyone experiences the stressful tension and arguing but OMG, it hurts to argue and be at a strain with one another! My SO tries to be re-assuring and so do I, but today was hard. At this moment, It is just about space and waiting for us both to de-stress, but where is all the bliss about the distance ending soon? So much to do...

Those who have closed or are going thru closing the distance, are what have your experiences been? Please let us know about your light at the end of the tunnel!

[Rach321]

It's normal, I think. Things are changing drastically for you! Even if it's amazingly good change, it's not always easy.

As long as you're both reassuring of one another, and supportive, there is nothing to worry about.

We're closing the distance in about a month... And we're both very excited, and a little bit freaked out.

I wish you luck!

[rsvpnj]

I feel the same.. my BF and I will be closing the distance temporarily for the summer... I am flying out there next week and it seems like we are fighting over the littlest things anymore. I think its the excitement and fear mixed together...

[Alexandria Lora]

It's normal, I think. Things are changing drastically for you! Even if it's amazingly good change, it's not always easy.

As long as you're both reassuring of one another, and supportive, there is nothing to worry about.

We're closing the distance in about a month... And we're both very excited, and a little bit freaked out.

I wish you luck!

Thanks Rach321! Yes, there is excitement but the 'freaking out' has only just been of late and in the form of arguments. You are right, trying not to worry. We are both in 'space' mode.
At the end of the day, being with him is the 'only option'. His words..

Thanks again...

[Alexandria Lora]

I feel the same.. my BF and I will be closing the distance temporarily for the summer... I am flying out there next week and it seems like we are fighting over the littlest things anymore. I think its the excitement and fear mixed together...

First off, Congrats with your closing the distance soon!! Temporary or not, it is still progress!!

And Yes rsvpnj! That excitement and and fear really can sneak up on you!! I went into this just thinking, "gotta get the house sold, sell my car, get into school...piece of cake." I wasn't prepared for the emptional freak out part. I thought i was, but it has kick me in the A**. Then my SO is dealing with getting the flat in time and is freaking out on his end... total helter skelter. I just want us to at least enjoy the last few weeks of the closing distance..not be at each other because of stress... especially since we both want this so badly!!

Wish you and your SO the best!!

[Alexandria Lora]

Thanks Rach321! Yes, there is excitement but the 'freaking out' has only just been of late and in the form of arguments. You are right, trying not to worry. We are both in 'space' mode.
At the end of the day, being with him is the 'only option'. His words..

Thanks again...

RACH321!! Congrats to you too on closing the distance soon too!!

[Rach321]

RACH321!! Congrats to you too on closing the distance soon too!!

Hehe- Thank you! It's all happened within the past couple of months. He's there now, I'm 5 hours away... We're remodeling his dad's house, and he wants to have most of the work done before I move.... So I'm spending all of my free time looking at appliances and paint colors online. We just spent a small fortune on kitchen appliances today... Luckily we haven't fought too much about it, but we did have a few moments of frustration. I know exactly what you mean about "space mode!"

[Alexandria Lora]

Hehe- Thank you! It's all happened within the past couple of months. He's there now, I'm 5 hours away... We're remodeling his dad's house, and he wants to have most of the work done before I move.... So I'm spending all of my free time looking at appliances and paint colors online. We just spent a small fortune on kitchen appliances today... Luckily we haven't fought too much about it, but we did have a few moments of frustration. I know exactly what you mean about "space mode!"

Yes, 'space mode' !! More like adult 'time out'! haha...but it works thank goodness!

And yes, ensuring that there is a place to live and call home appears to be our SO's priority and rightly so! It's just that when I wanted to reach out and express being there to help, it was like an affront to his manhood?! "He must handle this and do this alone"! Then it was about not getting this done in time.. and then we are arguing....about something that we both know must happen! so ridiculous this...

Space mode!!!

[Silviar]

It's completely normal. When I closed the distance back in April, we had plenty of arguments and tension fights. It's just part of the process.

[Alexandria Lora]

It's completely normal. When I closed the distance back in April, we had plenty of arguments and tension fights. It's just part of the process.

Thanks Silviar! Yes, i just need to be patient with myself as well as him.

[8000miles]

Yes, I remember the first time she came to the visit, I don't know what it was, but I think it was something kind of simple that I did. Probably a little stupid thing that's normally not too big of a deal though. And she was super stressed and said she couldn't believe she was coming to visit me etc. Of course she came and it was lots of fun, amazing really. And now we're about to close the distance for good and the same thing is happening.

It doesn't affect me because.. well.. I'm not doing anything. She's doing EVERYTHING. But for her, leaving all friend and family, job, home... horrifying! As far as I can tell, you just have to tough it out until the end!

[lucybelle]

Everything was pretty stressful, yes. Things were really bad right before we knew WHEN he could move in. I was really upset and he was frustrated. But in the end, after all that mess, he moved in and it's been GREAT! Keep up the good work, there is a light

[Casey]

Closing the distance is the most stressful time!
You are making such a big sacrifice by moving, so you tend to pick on the smallest things wrong. You know you are making a big sacrifice, so you want to know it's worth it.
You are moving house, and moving town (sometimes even country).
You are moving away from family and friends.

But in the end, you have a place to call "ours" you are back in their arms and everything is right.
I would recommend first night in the new town, get take out, set up candles, and just de-stress for the night. Lay together, enjoy each other's presence and the excitement of being together!

[Alexandria Lora]

Closing the distance is the most stressful time!
You are making such a big sacrifice by moving, so you tend to pick on the smallest things wrong. You know you are making a big sacrifice, so you want to know it's worth it.
You are moving house, and moving town (sometimes even country).
You are moving away from family and friends.

But in the end, you have a place to call "ours" you are back in their arms and everything is right.
I would recommend first night in the new town, get take out, set up candles, and just de-stress for the night. Lay together, enjoy each other's presence and the excitement of being together!

Casey Thank you...So love this!! I am moving to him..another country..away from my friends and family..Yes, even though I know its worth it, worth us...I wouldn't be human if I did not second guess it. But yes....we are building "our" place and home and that gives me so much peace... Thank you!! This nailed it )


8000miles:

It doesn't affect me because.. well.. I'm not doing anything. She's doing EVERYTHING. But for her, leaving all friend and family, job, home... horrifying! As far as I can tell, you just have to tough it out until the end!

Thanks for your reply..this is also true in my case as well and it is very overwhelming even terrifying at times. Thankful we are close, it is just the arguing really tears at me.. I think we both are toughened by this...but even a second skin is still tender...

lucybelle:

Everything was pretty stressful, yes. Things were really bad right before we knew WHEN he could move in. I was really upset and he was frustrated. But in the end, after all that mess, he moved in and it's been GREAT! Keep up the good work, there is a light

Thank you for your reply! I do look forward to getting past it all....having the end where we are both together..and it is done...that is the light! Thank you!!

[Scottyent]

I just wanted to add my own experience to let you know you're not alone! I'm in the same phase right now, it's about a week now until I move to be with her overseas, and that's a huge change for me. We definitely have been a little more tense and stressed lately, and nitpicked about little things, and got into a few arguments that we would have never have gotten into otherwise. We both acknowledged the fact that it's a big change, we're both very excited, going to be finally living together, no more goodbyes... etc etc. However, although every time I said to her hey it's fine, I love you, this is what I want, don't feel guilty (which she definitely shouldn't!), it'll be amazing wonderful, everything we want.....there was something else inside me, and in her that was making things tense. I couldn't put my finger on it, and it frustrated us both a lot that there was this tense feeling so close to being together! I had my last counseling appointment last week, and we talked this over, and my counselor lead me to realize just how much of a change it really is. This is a huge huge commitment, and even though it is one thousand percent what I want, I guess I always assumed that meant I would love every second, and make the best of it. But inside myself somwhere, that nervousness was telling me that this is definitely going to be a big change and an adjustment, and there will be a lot of new things I have to deal with on a regular basis in a foreign country. Having acknowledged that fear, and really said wow...I am definitely super nervous, and then looking up online different people who have made the move, or even on here about people that have experienced this tension, it really helped me just identify it, and then move past it! I talked to her too, and she realizes she is very nervous for the same reasons, it's a big commitment and change in our lives, even though it's absolutely what we both want. But that doesn't make it less scary! Now if things are tense (which they have been a lot less since we really talked it over) we can both chalk it up to the nervousness of the big change, and the fact we want it to come even sooner than a week, but it's so close now we can allow each other space and say hey, it's ok, we'll see each other very soon. and once you're together, things are going to be VERY different, and very wonderful but still challenging!

Best of luck to you two, and enjoy these last few days or moments on your own. Although I can't wait to live with my girlfriend, there's a very small part of me that is wondering if I will ever live alone again, and while that's not a big deal, it is certainly something that has to sink in, and I'm using these last few days to enjoy being on my own, going out running and hiking on my own, not having to worry too much about affecting her life directly by doing those things.