will you have a joing account with your SO?

[rivi87]

I was not sure where to post this so I guess here works. Since I am getting married soon I am trying to plan. If you were in my position would you combine your money with your SO or would you keep finances separate? Mitch wants us to combine our money..he has a very "whats mine is yours" mentality which I love...Its not like I have more money than him we are about the same in that catagory it just will just be a pretty big adjustment..so what to do you guys think? All feedback is greatly appraciated!

15 more days!!

---------- Post added at 07:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:58 PM ----------

just saw it said joing...embarrasing :P

[mllebamako]

I think this all depends on the couple and what they're comfortable with. Me and my SO are currently living in a cash-only country so we don't really deal with bank accounts. But it's definitely something we'll have to figure out in the future. I am leaning towards having a joint account and then 2 separate accounts. But we'll see!

Here are 2 really interesting threads about people's opinions/experiences on this matter. The first one also has a link to an interesting article.

https://members.lovingfromadistance....andle-Finances

https://members.lovingfromadistance....-mine-and-ours

Good luck!

[Silviar]

My SO and I made the decision to have a joint account. We felt it was important to have an our money mentality, and we're comfortable with the arrangement. Plus it's good proof for our visa. :P

[Mara]

My SO is actually against us having joined bank accounts. Mostly, I think because I'm a bit..."loose" with money. I want us to have a joined account, but then there's always the risk that he'll see how much I spend on [what he would call] frivolous things and go nuts. I think in the end, we'll end up having a joint account and then I'll have my own separate account. I'm pretty content to let him manage all of the money because I know I'm horrible at it, but I would still want my separate account just for 'spending money' so to speak. I think it all depends though on your SO and how the two of you plan on handling the finances.

[Petals]

For us, marriage is a partnership in every way so we will have joint accounts because finance is an important matter that requires consultation. These accounts will be geared towards paying bills, savings, as well as longterm investment accounts. Joint accounts become important when joint assets are obtained. It's not a bad idea however, for each partner to have a separate account that is used for personal expenditure only, while maintaining joint accounts.

[snow_girl]

Maybe when we get married or after we've been together for a while, but right now all the bills are paid from his account and I give him my half of the money to put in his account. I think its a good idea to have one for visa reasons but I still like to be cautious incase we break up, I like clean breaks not having to deal with each other to sort out accounts and stuff after we end it.

[Moon]

Nope, never again. When I was married, we had joint accounts, and it only ever caused problems. Next time I'd rather we pay our own agreed shares of everything, unless we needed some sort of joint account for visa purposes. I totally agree with snow_girl, in case of a break up, it's so much easier to only have to deal with your own stuff!

[KatyCakes10]

My fiance and I have a joint account but we also both have separate accounts, not just because we're in different countries. He knows when he moves here that I am keeping my own account along with our account. I'm pretty sure he plans on doing the same. I like sharing everything with my SO, but I want to be sure that I will always have my own money just in case.

[13000km]

I've never thought about it until now. If I can I think when I open my bank account here I would like his name to be on it too, just in case anything happens to me there'll be somebody to access the money. He's so much better at saving than I am so it would be good too for him to try to control my finances from there. I'll have to ask him what he thinks about maaaaybe a joint savings account as well, our backpacking funds...

[Micah]

No joint accounts here. I am kind of nontraditional when it comes to this. Even if we get married, I would prefer to still have separate accounts, although I would be open to sharing an account as long as we still held our own. I really don't like fighting about money and I feel that this would be a good way to prevent that. I also have been married before and all a joint account did was cause a lot of complaining.

[gr8shortandwise]

this is something my SO and I have been debating lately since we will be closing the distance/moving in together in the next 4-6 months. my thought is that we will need a joint account for bills but I would like to only deposit the money we need for bills in that account and keep everything else separate, since we're not engaged or married. one of my motivations for this is that he will be making 2 1/2-3 times more than I will (I'm a grad student/teaching assistant) and I don't want to merge our assets when we're not married and he makes sooo much more than I do. I'm not sure what I would want to do when we are married...it's an interesting issue that I feel strange about due to the differences in our incomes.

[Michelle]

Yes, Frank and I have decided to have a joint checking account but still have our own accounts to pay for our own personal stuff. We'll contribute the same amount each month to the joint checking account to cover our shared costs for the month including rent, electricity, food, things for the apartment, etc... We think it will make things less complicated and fair. I don't want to have to figure out who owes who all the time. Also, it will force us into discussing any purchases we make using that account and come up with a budget we agree on for groceries and such.

We won't completely share our accounts until we have gotten married.

[Kirschlein]

Well, i rather stay with two different accounts, even after marriage. It's always good to have your own... i guess i am a bit sceptical about ONLY one together, because my parents have some really big money issues caused by their divorce ... they fight over their money...

But i really like the idea of michelle and frank, i guess i will try that out with my SO... it seems fair and interesting,... wonder why i never came to that xD

[Zephii]

We are going for a joint account.
At first I wanted his-mine-ours but now I see that would probably just frusterate me. Our finances right now are more or less combined. He has savings, but no job, I have a job but no savings. I don't want us to wittle away his savings, so I'm supporting us completely and trying to add to the pile at as we go... but as we're trying to pay for stuff for the wedding (and as my Aussie bank locked my credit card til I come home) there's a lot of annoying handing back and forth of money, and I can't see our savings because I don't have access to that account. Also, when I work out our budget for the month and tell him, I hand over my pay because most of those things are linked to his account. So he feels bad for not providing because I'm giving a wad of hard-earned pennies and losing all control over it.
Everything would be much more simple if we had just a main joint account.

But, he's not ready for that yet because apparently you need to be married to do that. I get the feeling he just doesn't trust me.

[Dziubka]

We've talked about it before and we want a shared account and still accounts of our own.

I don't need my boyfriend/husband to know exactly how much I spend on what and vice versa. I don't think that that actually helps the relationship.
It's also way harder to keep presents a secret when you only have a shared account. I can have things delivered to my work, but if I pay for it by bank transfer it's still going to show up in the bank transcript...
So yeah, three accounts.