Emigration to Live with S/O from England to Illinois - What are My Options?
Hello all, new user to the forum here, recent events in my life have set in stone that I need to get serious about closing the gap on my LDR relationship, but there's just so much to consider and nobody in my IRL world is certain of the best steps to take to make this happen.
For a summarized history to give context as to how serious I am about closing the gap,
my S/O and I met online through a shared circle of friends in September 2018. My S/O lives in Illinois and I in Northern England. We were good friends until December 2018 when we decided to start dating after we both demonstrated examples of a heightened level of care for one another over the months between September and December. For more information about how we met, you can check the 'About' section of my account.
After dating exclusively over text DMs and regular video calls for almost a year, we arranged our first IRL meet-up for August of 2019 that lasted just under 2 weeks. There were one or two misunderstandings about our "love language" and we were still just dumb teens (I am currently 22 as of writing all this and my S/O is currently 21 as of the same time), but overall it went exceptionally well and we remember it fondly even now. I distinctly remember that my IRL life felt so much more complete with my S/O's presence in it that up until this point in my life that letting go of my her on the last day of this meet-up to let her travel back home was the hardest thing I had ever had to allow to happen in my IRL life by far. After my S/O went home, I was in hysterics for a brief period, but mostly felt an extended period of isolation and emptiness, everything that was one so vibrant now felt so dull and pointless.
Going back to just text DMs and regular video calls after spending almost every waking minute of our meet-up practically joined at the hip was very rough, but with time and care we worked through it and came out stronger for it, at the time banking on the assumption we'd be able to arrange another meet-up for the next year. This first meet-up was arranged so that the S/O would come to my country, and given how huge the trip is from the country of my S/O to my country, we decided that each new meet-up we would alternate which of us would be the one doing the travelling. As such, it was arranged early on after this first meet-up that I would be the one presumably going to Illinois the next year (we'd have the meet-ups more often than once a year if we could but it's both a scheduling and financial difficulty to do so).
Given the timing of the first meet-up in mid to late 2019, you probably know where I'm going next: COVID-19 cancelled our second meet-up due for the Summer of 2020, both me and my S/O were heartbroken by this and gave me some serious jitters at first that we wouldn't be able to "make it" now faced with an indefinite delay to see each other in-person once again. Sure enough, we tried to re-arrange a meet-up for the following year, but again COVID-19 prevented that from occurring. Finally, towards the end of 2021, the first wave of COVID-19 vaccinations began to roll-out as you no doubt remember which permitted the resumed operation of things like airports, I was front and centre to get all 3 jabs required for a person of my age. I actually had a pretty bad anxiety about getting shots even at my age before COVID-19 rolled around, but I knew that getting to see my S/O again was too important to be defeated by some stupid childish fear, so I just barrelled through the first COVID-19 shot in around June of 2021 and found it actually wasn't as bad as I remember it being at all, then basically just waltzed through the other two COVID-19 vaccinations in the following months and indirectly got over that fear all thanks to this relationship and the ambition it inspires within me (more on that later).
Finally, after close to a 3-year gap, the second meet-up occurred in June of 2022, and I contest to this day that it was the happiest 2 weeks of my entire life without contest. Whereas the first meet-up occurred as I had just recently graduated from College, this meet-up was now coincidentally occurring just as I had graduated from University, and that time allowed for a lot of maturing and getting serious from both me and my S/O as we "kept the home fires burning" so-to speak through text DMs and video calling for the whole 3 years physically apart. When I had to go home from this second meet-up, I was emotionally a wreck. I thought that letting go of my S/O at the end of the first meet-up was already hard enough, but the difficulty of knowing there would have to be a last kiss of the lips and a last hold 'round the shoulders every new minute I got closer to departing back for home was crushing my heart, I stood there helpless as the bureaucracy of the airport process filtered me through it's first channel and eventually metaphorically and in some ways literally tore me from the arms of my S/O. I spent basically the whole trip home an emotional wreck, but as I already mentioned, these meet-up departures and the intense grief they bring upon the both of us inspire me to make huge positive changes to my life. For example, as I mentioned, this second meet-up was right after I finished University, and up until this point in my life I had never previously had I job, and so the grief that I felt having to leave this second meet-up inspired me to get right onto the job hunt as soon as I was back in my element in my home country whereas I likely would have just been a directionless layabout otherwise as I was before I got into this relationship. I wanted to get a job so badly not only for my own benefit, but because I was going to open a new account for the wages of that job to go directly into saving up for funds to make closing the gap with my S/O a reality, I just didn't know how that'd work at the time, all I know is I'd need money. I got a job after about 4 months of searching, and still have that job as of writing this about 9 months after landing the job and I've yet to spend a penny of my earnings instead living off of existing savings prior to landing the job and more notably the hospitality of my family.
As one would expect, some time after the second meet-up my S/O and I began to arrange a third meet-up for the current year of 2023, a meet-up that went off thankfully without a hitch 2 weeks ago and concluded just yesterday. Based on what I have described previously, you may assume I'm currently in my emotional wreck state that is all the same motivated by this grief to further close the LDR gap, and you'd be right, and that's why I'm here today.
Context aside,
me and my S/O have been together almost 5 years. We have met up 3 times IRL and have been very closely and consistently together in-person for about 6 weeks with all our time spent IRL combined, and during this time we have seen no reason why we would ever want to separate, we feel perfect for one another and will both make an effort to improve when the other member has been dissatisfied even in some small way in the past. I've never been more certain that I want to spend my life with someone, and so I need advice to close the gap on this LDR relationship. I'm planning to emigrate from Northern England to Illinois with almost a year in the work force under my belt and (from my research) money and then some to make this gap closed. My job is 100% remote and could in-theory be effortlessly attended even after emigration. Trouble is, I have no idea where to start outside of the cursory research I've done so far into the financial and legal logistics of emigration from my location to the location of my S/O. We have a few options, but right now what's sounding best to me is a legal marriage between me and my S/O that grants me dual citizenship between England and the U.S. followed by me keeping my remote position for the company I work for here in England. I don't know if I need a U.S. work visa if I'm working remotely for a company in England if I just happen to be doing that work in the states, which is another thing I'll need some answers on from you guys. If I can achieve dual citizenship and keep my job, then all that should follow then is the process of moving whatever items I can from my place here in England to Illinois if I can even move anything at all. I already have offers from the family of my S/O to use their accommodation presumably for some tenant rental rate I can fund with my job, but I also have the opportunity to potentially dorm with my S/O at the university she will soon be attending.
What do you guys think? What sounds best for a couple like us? Is my plan even remotely realistic to achieve or should I start from square one? Thank you very much for reading any of this, I eagerly await your input!
For a summarized history to give context as to how serious I am about closing the gap,
my S/O and I met online through a shared circle of friends in September 2018. My S/O lives in Illinois and I in Northern England. We were good friends until December 2018 when we decided to start dating after we both demonstrated examples of a heightened level of care for one another over the months between September and December. For more information about how we met, you can check the 'About' section of my account.
After dating exclusively over text DMs and regular video calls for almost a year, we arranged our first IRL meet-up for August of 2019 that lasted just under 2 weeks. There were one or two misunderstandings about our "love language" and we were still just dumb teens (I am currently 22 as of writing all this and my S/O is currently 21 as of the same time), but overall it went exceptionally well and we remember it fondly even now. I distinctly remember that my IRL life felt so much more complete with my S/O's presence in it that up until this point in my life that letting go of my her on the last day of this meet-up to let her travel back home was the hardest thing I had ever had to allow to happen in my IRL life by far. After my S/O went home, I was in hysterics for a brief period, but mostly felt an extended period of isolation and emptiness, everything that was one so vibrant now felt so dull and pointless.
Going back to just text DMs and regular video calls after spending almost every waking minute of our meet-up practically joined at the hip was very rough, but with time and care we worked through it and came out stronger for it, at the time banking on the assumption we'd be able to arrange another meet-up for the next year. This first meet-up was arranged so that the S/O would come to my country, and given how huge the trip is from the country of my S/O to my country, we decided that each new meet-up we would alternate which of us would be the one doing the travelling. As such, it was arranged early on after this first meet-up that I would be the one presumably going to Illinois the next year (we'd have the meet-ups more often than once a year if we could but it's both a scheduling and financial difficulty to do so).
Given the timing of the first meet-up in mid to late 2019, you probably know where I'm going next: COVID-19 cancelled our second meet-up due for the Summer of 2020, both me and my S/O were heartbroken by this and gave me some serious jitters at first that we wouldn't be able to "make it" now faced with an indefinite delay to see each other in-person once again. Sure enough, we tried to re-arrange a meet-up for the following year, but again COVID-19 prevented that from occurring. Finally, towards the end of 2021, the first wave of COVID-19 vaccinations began to roll-out as you no doubt remember which permitted the resumed operation of things like airports, I was front and centre to get all 3 jabs required for a person of my age. I actually had a pretty bad anxiety about getting shots even at my age before COVID-19 rolled around, but I knew that getting to see my S/O again was too important to be defeated by some stupid childish fear, so I just barrelled through the first COVID-19 shot in around June of 2021 and found it actually wasn't as bad as I remember it being at all, then basically just waltzed through the other two COVID-19 vaccinations in the following months and indirectly got over that fear all thanks to this relationship and the ambition it inspires within me (more on that later).
Finally, after close to a 3-year gap, the second meet-up occurred in June of 2022, and I contest to this day that it was the happiest 2 weeks of my entire life without contest. Whereas the first meet-up occurred as I had just recently graduated from College, this meet-up was now coincidentally occurring just as I had graduated from University, and that time allowed for a lot of maturing and getting serious from both me and my S/O as we "kept the home fires burning" so-to speak through text DMs and video calling for the whole 3 years physically apart. When I had to go home from this second meet-up, I was emotionally a wreck. I thought that letting go of my S/O at the end of the first meet-up was already hard enough, but the difficulty of knowing there would have to be a last kiss of the lips and a last hold 'round the shoulders every new minute I got closer to departing back for home was crushing my heart, I stood there helpless as the bureaucracy of the airport process filtered me through it's first channel and eventually metaphorically and in some ways literally tore me from the arms of my S/O. I spent basically the whole trip home an emotional wreck, but as I already mentioned, these meet-up departures and the intense grief they bring upon the both of us inspire me to make huge positive changes to my life. For example, as I mentioned, this second meet-up was right after I finished University, and up until this point in my life I had never previously had I job, and so the grief that I felt having to leave this second meet-up inspired me to get right onto the job hunt as soon as I was back in my element in my home country whereas I likely would have just been a directionless layabout otherwise as I was before I got into this relationship. I wanted to get a job so badly not only for my own benefit, but because I was going to open a new account for the wages of that job to go directly into saving up for funds to make closing the gap with my S/O a reality, I just didn't know how that'd work at the time, all I know is I'd need money. I got a job after about 4 months of searching, and still have that job as of writing this about 9 months after landing the job and I've yet to spend a penny of my earnings instead living off of existing savings prior to landing the job and more notably the hospitality of my family.
As one would expect, some time after the second meet-up my S/O and I began to arrange a third meet-up for the current year of 2023, a meet-up that went off thankfully without a hitch 2 weeks ago and concluded just yesterday. Based on what I have described previously, you may assume I'm currently in my emotional wreck state that is all the same motivated by this grief to further close the LDR gap, and you'd be right, and that's why I'm here today.
Context aside,
me and my S/O have been together almost 5 years. We have met up 3 times IRL and have been very closely and consistently together in-person for about 6 weeks with all our time spent IRL combined, and during this time we have seen no reason why we would ever want to separate, we feel perfect for one another and will both make an effort to improve when the other member has been dissatisfied even in some small way in the past. I've never been more certain that I want to spend my life with someone, and so I need advice to close the gap on this LDR relationship. I'm planning to emigrate from Northern England to Illinois with almost a year in the work force under my belt and (from my research) money and then some to make this gap closed. My job is 100% remote and could in-theory be effortlessly attended even after emigration. Trouble is, I have no idea where to start outside of the cursory research I've done so far into the financial and legal logistics of emigration from my location to the location of my S/O. We have a few options, but right now what's sounding best to me is a legal marriage between me and my S/O that grants me dual citizenship between England and the U.S. followed by me keeping my remote position for the company I work for here in England. I don't know if I need a U.S. work visa if I'm working remotely for a company in England if I just happen to be doing that work in the states, which is another thing I'll need some answers on from you guys. If I can achieve dual citizenship and keep my job, then all that should follow then is the process of moving whatever items I can from my place here in England to Illinois if I can even move anything at all. I already have offers from the family of my S/O to use their accommodation presumably for some tenant rental rate I can fund with my job, but I also have the opportunity to potentially dorm with my S/O at the university she will soon be attending.
What do you guys think? What sounds best for a couple like us? Is my plan even remotely realistic to achieve or should I start from square one? Thank you very much for reading any of this, I eagerly await your input!
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