Questions About Moving

[Rosser]

Im really not sure if this post belongs in this category, and if it doesn't Im sorry, Im still learning the site.

Anyway, me and my SO have been talking to one another since December 2010. I am fully aware that I am going to have to be the one that has to move, which is not a problem for me because I have the finances required for the move. She lives in Kentucky and I live in Canada. If I were to move, it wouldn't be until Summer 2012.

But I am afraid to move 6 hours away, move to a different country and change schools for a girl I haven't really met.

I mainly want to how many times you saw your SO before you moved, if you did. And should I be making a big deal out of this?

[snow_girl]

I think its definitely a good idea to have a few visits under your belt before dropping everything and moving there. It should feel right to you and if it doesn't then maybe it means you need a couple more visits. I think its different for everyone.

[Sora1101]

I'll have seen my SO twice maybe three times before I move to him, but like snow_girl said it really depends on how comfortable you are with moving, I know that 2-3 times seeing him is more than enough for me but it seems like you may need more because you're not completely comfortable with it, and I don't think it's a bad thing you're making a big deal about it, moving so far away is a life changing decision and shouldn't be made lightly. Just remember that before you move BOTH of you guys are completely okay with it and are ready for such a big change. ^^

[Moon]

Personally, I'd never move without having met, nor would I let him move to me, there are just too many unknown factors that come into play. How many visits? I don't know, it's different for everyone, and their circumstances, but enough visits that you're comfortable with it. Picking up and moving for someone, away from everything familiar is a big deal, especially moving to another country (even if it's just Canada/USA), so you don't want to get there and realize you don't like each other as much as you thought. Just take it easy, meet, and then do what you're comfortable with. Good luck!

[Rosser]

Well we have visited once before and she was fantastic in-person. I know for sure that I love this girl, and I want to be with her.

@Sora, how did you know it was right to move to be with them? Should I be so nervous? I do wanna be there with her, Im just afraid to move and then 4 months after I move it ends because we are not used to being together daily. Thanks for all posts thus far, this is why I love this site, great community.

[Zephii]

We met twice before we closed the distance, but the first four months of it being closed were somewhat temporary. This is how it went:
Zephii travels to Canada (from Australia) for 7 weeks.
6 months later, Zephii goes back to Canada for 20 days.
3 months later, Obi visits Zephii in Australia for 4 months.
At the end of those 4 months Zephii thinks Obi is worth the risk and moves to Canada with him on a two year visa.

I think it's smart to be cautious. Don't jump in without a safety device if you can avoid it. I think length of visits is probably more important that amount. On a long visit, if they are pretending to be something they are not, you're more likely to notice it, and they are less likely to be able to keep the act up. You learn if you'd be able to stand living with them. You learn what your chemestry is like over an extended period. And you meet their family and friends - because if you hate the people they spend all their time with that's likely to be a problem

[chwdg10]

We have had three visits over a three year period and he may be moving over to live with me in six months. I would not make a decision like that unless I knew exactly who I was moving for. You want to meet them and see their surroundings and how they go about their life before you decide to make that you're life too.

[Silviar]

I had two visit with my SO before I moved. I went to Australia, and he came to America for two months.

Of course it's a big deal - moving is a big deal. I would definitely meet at least once before moving, just to make sure everything is workable and good in real life the same as from a distance. If you want to move, then you should do it.

[yayagrl]

If you really want to move out there I say as a precaution you could always get your own place there and make a separate life from her, i.e. friends, a job etc. so you're not just depending on her as your one and only companion. That way if it goes bad you won't have to worry about the awkwardness of moving out of her place and all that goes with it. Judging from your being nervous you may want to visit her more and make the visits longer ones so you can be 100% sure of your decision. And Zephii made a great statement about meeting her family and friends because you should at least be able to tolerate them, you don't have to love em and they should be comfortable with you. Depending on what kind of person your SO is and how much her family and friend's opinions mean to her their not being able to tolerate or be comfortable with you could make her change her mind about you. Also I have a friend who was in an LDR and recently closed the distance with her and her SO and now they are not getting along. Anything could happen. Sometimes you think you really like that person and then you spend a lot of time around them and you start to see little quirks that you may not have noticed before. Just take things slow. Visit each other more and let it progress

[Flora]

You should definately meet with her a couple of times before moving.
All in all we met 4 times and I gonna move to Texas in October.
We met in May 2010 in TX and we've been together for 3 month
1st visit December 2011 in TX for 1 month
2nd visit April 2011 in TX for 4 weeks
3rd visit June 2011 in Hungary for 4 weeks

and closing the distance in October 2011