More problems close distance than long distance...

[MadMolly]

As some of you know, after 2 and half ish years, my boyfriend made the big move to be with me at the start of March. We had trouble finding him his own place so we decided to move into our own little house, everything was peachy etc etc.

However not even two months since he moved here, there have been some awful problems and it looks like I'll be leaving him. I'm packing up my stuff discreetly while he's in the other room making jokes to me and laughing as if nothing he said is a big deal. It's making me cry but I've arranged to go stay with my mum for a few weeks and see how I go from there. I don't know how he is going to pay rent or feed himself (I was the main provider because he studies and I work and study) so I don't really know what to do.

I hope if you guys all make the move it turns out better than my relationship I might not post for a while, so I'll talk to you guys when I next come on.

(basically he met another girl in his class - I don't like to share)

[MadMolly]

Update; he begged me to stay and so I did, we had a talk but I don't think much is resolved besides the fact the girl *should* be out of the picture now. We'll see what happens next. :-/

[Bluestars]

I am sorry that things have turned out this way Hopefully you will figure everything out and do what is best for you. Good luck!

[shananana]

That's happened to me in my past LDR after he moved down to be with me. He met a girl at his job and I found out later on (when I thought everything was good with him & I) that he's been messing around behind my back. Long story short, it was a HORRIBLE relationship. I hated the person I had become and I was SO unhappy being with him, but I stayed because he was like my "security blanket". I was so use to being around him because we lived together for so long, that I didn't want to leave him. I didn't want him out of my life because I felt too weak. Being with him was definitely one of the worst times in my life and I'm SO happy to have moved on. I look back now and wonder what the hell was I thinking?!

My point is that I know what you're going through. It's definitely not easy, but if you're unhappy being with him (there's obviously going to be some trust issues), I think you should move on. You deserve better than that and if he can't see what he has, that's his loss. I know it's easier said than done, but in the long run you WILL be happy, trust me. I wish you the best and I hope everything works out. <3

[Zephii]

Guys can be dumb. Perhaps seeming you had a semi-open-ish relationship before the move he thought he could push boundaries with you after he had? Don't give up just yet. If it still bothers you, sit him down for another talk until you can get through to him. *Hugs*

[xsomanymilesx]

ughh thats horrible, i hope that never happens to any of us, or you for that matter again! i hope you feel better soon .... good luck!

[Tanja]

Awwwww Molly I'm sorry to hear that

Maybe it's like Zephii said, that he hasn't set his head in the CDR-mode yet so to speak and he thinks he still can do whatever he wants even though you live together now. I hope you guys can talk it through and he'll come around to see what he's got before it's too late! *hugs*

[MadMolly]

Yes it is exactly that problem. We are still pretty open now (I don't mind if he goes to a party and hooks up with girls, that is just physical stuff which has always been okay with us) but this girl is actually falling in *love* with him and he's not encouraging her at all - but he won't tell her to go away either, and he texts her back every time she texts him. Then I found out (which was a breaking point) that he hasn't actually told her that I'm his girlfriend. I totally hit the roof when I found that out. She was basically asking him if she should choose him or her boyfriend, and I texted her saying "Stick with your boyfriend hun"... sigh. This is wayyyyy too much drama and it's putting stress in my life I don't need!

[Caitlin2009]

Well maybe its a good idea if you werent in a open relationship anymore, if its causing that much problems then its not a good idea anymore. close it off with just you and him

[ioanna]

Molly i'm so sorry you're going through this! its not an easy situation. it takes a lot of time to adjust to living together, especially if tis not in the all "lovey dovey" 3 blind months or so of your relationship.. thats why its an adventure.. you get to learn new things everyday, some you'll love, others you'll hate; but its important to be able to talk openly together as to what is bothering the both of you, and re discussing the terms of your deal (for lack of a better word, sorry, English inst my first language).
i wish you lots of patience and luck : )

[Mio]

Oh girl, this sucks big time. I hope you can work it out, talk about it, think about it so you can make a wise decision. Lot's of hugs!!!

[JoMarie]

yeah guys tend to push boundaries that girls think are clear. I hope you can work it out

[MadMolly]

We're *supposed* to be completely monogamous now he lives with me but he has been trying to convince me to be at least semi open. Last night I decided I had enough and I left him this morning. I came back tonight to check if he was okay (he was saying he would die without me and hurt himself and stuff) and he promised he would stop hurting me and I was the only thing keeping him going etc etc etc... so I'm staying but I'm not unpacking my suitcase just yet. I will probably be away from the forums for a while guys. Thanks for your support.

[Caitlin2009]

aww that sucks Yeaaah i wouldnt stay with him either if thats what you guys agreed on, it sounded like he was trying to keep you on a tight leash and control you. you'll find someone better with time *huggles*

[LuckyFin]

I agree with Caitlin. Plus it sounds like he's living there rent free - it must be like a guys dream - a girl who pays the rent AND let's him bang other chicks. No way. You're stronger, smarter, and worth more than any of that! Good luck, and we're here (: