Dealing with Uncertainty

[triangle]

My SO and I have been living together (in his parents' house) for the summer months since we started dating. It's amazing and we're excited to start living on our own once we're both done school. We both graduate at the same time, however I'm most likely going to grad school and he's undecided on whether he wants to further his education. We went from being certain of our end date, to uncertain. We're not even sure where either of us will be geographically if we decide to continue our education.

After being so dead-set on an end date after graduation, I'm not sure I can handle another few years apart. It sounds selfish, but I wish he would just tell me he'll follow me. It's unfair and I don't expect him to, but it's what I want. I can't ever see myself with anyone else, so taking a break just seems stupid to me, but the pain of not knowing it starting to get to me.

Has anyone had a similar experience? I'll take any advice on how to cope with this.
Thanks for listening.

[Lumos]

School is what's keeping us apart too.

I'm in the process of applying to grad schools this year. As much as I would like to take the chance to move near him (and I did seriously consider it for a while), I can't afford to pay tuition in his state. Out-of-state tuition here is cheaper than in-state tuition there. He still has 1.5 years of undergrad left. He's planning on going to grad school as well, but he's not sure where he wants to go or what he wants to study. He'll probably apply to schools in both states, but who knows where either of us will end up :\

I don't really have any advice, just letting you know you aren't alone. At this point I've just tried to stop thinking about it so much. In the past, we tried coming up with plans a few times when I was feeling stressed out, but with so many uncertainties, it's been impossible to make one that's 100% for sure, so I've basically given up on that for now. Right now I'm just hoping he at least ends up in my state for grad school and trying not to think about it too much. As much as I dislike the uncertainty, I don't consider giving up an option, so there's not any point in dwelling on something we can't currently change.

It helps me to concentrate on visits instead of the big picture. I am looking forward to seeing him in December, and after that who knows Maybe some unknown opportunity will fall into our laps; it has before.

[kat4301]

We are kinda in a similar situation, we are apart for grad school. I am trying to apply to continue on at his school, while he wants to transfer to a different school. We have decided we should just both apply and go from there. Just remember that school is not forever, but people tend to hold onto resentment their whole lives. I would say do what you need to for yourself and it will work out. We have been LDR my whole time in grad school and its really not the worst time for it, you get long school breaks, you will be with students your own age so you can make friends, you are sooo busy the time flies, and then you get out making more money than before so you can start off in a better place. Plus I found when I went to school, about half of my cohort were also LDR which is so rare to find a lot of people in LDR, so it was nice to have that support.

[Bethypoo]

University is the reason that my boyfriend and I are apart. About the time I am graduating he will be going to basic training for the coast guard. Just because you had "dead-set" plans doesn't mean that the universe agreed with those plans and life will give you road bumps.

I dont think the fact that your end date is a reason to start thinking of disaster. Distance is hard. For all of us and the longer we are apart the more it seems to hurt. But if you love each other then you will be able to survive it. It is selfish to want him to follow you but it is normal for you to want him to follow you. But he has his own life. And you both can live your lives from a distance while being together at the same time. Dont hold your self back because you are scared of separation. You need to do what is best for you. Because that is also what is best for him. It will work out.

[triangle]

I can't thank you guys enough for all of the support. I've really been struggling with this for the past couple of weeks and just knowing that there are people out there that understand care enough to talk about it makes it a lot easier.

You've made my day

[weetzie]

If I were him I would just follow you and find a school there that I can go to!