I'm in a little bit of an LD pickle.
My SO and I have been together for a little longer than three years now, almost all of that time long distance. I'm living in LA county and he's living in San Luis Obispo, CA (200 miles apart). I'm really feeling the distance, but he isn't, and I have been seriously wanting to close the distance for about a year now. We're going through a rough patch (I mean REALLY rough patch), and he doesn't seem particularly keen on moving here, since he just moved out of his parents' house and got a job he really loves. His primary concern about moving down here is that he won't be able to find a job. When we've talked about it in the past, he has also been particularly concerned about finding roommates down here and has been very concerned about whether or not I will break up with him once he has moved down. Another concern is that he is very close to his family, although they don't get along.
I guess I just wanted to share the plan I've come up with with some other people and get some feedback.
Right now I am finishing up my undergraduate degree, but will be graduating in the spring. The way I see it, we have two options for closing the distance:
1. I move there after graduation, which would be a fine solution for a year. I plan on taking a year off before graduate school, so I could spend a year there, but I could not possibly continue to live where he does during graduate school because there are no graduate schools that have my desired program within fifty miles of where he lives. So if I were to move there, it would be a temporary solution, and he would have to move with me anyways if the relationship were to continue to work.
2. He moves down here after I graduate. In order to cover his fears of the relationship breaking up, we could talk about promising that we will marry each other (we have both made it clear that we want to marry each other). We could move into a studio or one bedroom apartment together, so he doesn't have to find roommates. I could help him fill out applications and set up interviews before he moves down here. I'm planning on getting a job this next semester and have some money in savings, so I should be able to support the both of us for a few months if he were to move down here without a job. We both plan on attending school in the area anyways, so this plan seems to be the best to me.
My only concern is that he seems to think it is okay to stay living where he is for the next year and stay LD. Two questions: how do the above plans sound, and how do I convince him to close the distance?
My SO and I have been together for a little longer than three years now, almost all of that time long distance. I'm living in LA county and he's living in San Luis Obispo, CA (200 miles apart). I'm really feeling the distance, but he isn't, and I have been seriously wanting to close the distance for about a year now. We're going through a rough patch (I mean REALLY rough patch), and he doesn't seem particularly keen on moving here, since he just moved out of his parents' house and got a job he really loves. His primary concern about moving down here is that he won't be able to find a job. When we've talked about it in the past, he has also been particularly concerned about finding roommates down here and has been very concerned about whether or not I will break up with him once he has moved down. Another concern is that he is very close to his family, although they don't get along.
I guess I just wanted to share the plan I've come up with with some other people and get some feedback.
Right now I am finishing up my undergraduate degree, but will be graduating in the spring. The way I see it, we have two options for closing the distance:
1. I move there after graduation, which would be a fine solution for a year. I plan on taking a year off before graduate school, so I could spend a year there, but I could not possibly continue to live where he does during graduate school because there are no graduate schools that have my desired program within fifty miles of where he lives. So if I were to move there, it would be a temporary solution, and he would have to move with me anyways if the relationship were to continue to work.
2. He moves down here after I graduate. In order to cover his fears of the relationship breaking up, we could talk about promising that we will marry each other (we have both made it clear that we want to marry each other). We could move into a studio or one bedroom apartment together, so he doesn't have to find roommates. I could help him fill out applications and set up interviews before he moves down here. I'm planning on getting a job this next semester and have some money in savings, so I should be able to support the both of us for a few months if he were to move down here without a job. We both plan on attending school in the area anyways, so this plan seems to be the best to me.
My only concern is that he seems to think it is okay to stay living where he is for the next year and stay LD. Two questions: how do the above plans sound, and how do I convince him to close the distance?
Comment