Would unexpected flowers be weird?

[0897klpq]

Before I say much, my situation is we aren't "together". She said she would give us a shot but we haven't met yet.

A friend of mine told me I should send my "crush" surprises or flowers from time to time.

I had the idea for Christmas I would send her flowers. Yesterday actually, she told me some news she had so I sent her a photo of some flowers and told her one day I'll send her the real thing.

Now, I am sure she would like to recive flowers, but here's where I am thinking twice about it. We've been talking 8 months but still, I don't know how well we know each other. I don't have her home address but I could send them to her work. She has a few friends who she works with, I'm sure she told them about me, but it still might give her unwanted attention.

I had thought of adding in the note something like:

"As I promised here are those flowers I told you I'd send you one day. Hope these brings a smile to your face, and sorry if you get any unwanted attention. Merry Christmas!

from the cat" (Cat is a nickname)

Anyway, what do you guys think?

[douglas2275]

Very sweet but approach with caution. You sound very similar to me and something I did once, something that was almost terrible.

I had a crush on Brittaney for some time but my feelings for her had changed (my blog post details this better). I wanted to tell her how I felt about her and so I decided to send flowers to her. My situation is different from yours as Brittaney is very young and still living at home. Unknown to me there were factors I had not considered (her parents). I ended up buying the flowers and had them sent to her door, I never had permission to send her anything and I actually found her address online (super stalkerish). Fortunately I told her what I did before they arrived and she was furious. Had the flowers made it to her door the consequences would have been terrible. Her parents are alcoholics and would have responded to them with physical violence. I was able to cancel the order and she picked them up at the florist instead.

It is important to be very careful, I would not suggest sending her surprises without at least obtaining permission to send anything in the first place. I recommend that even though the surprise could be nice, try and get permission to use her address first, you never know what other factors could be playing in her life.

[0897klpq]

Well, I just had the idea of asking if I can send her a Christmas card.

I could get her home address and Send the flowers there instead. It's only her brother there, and her parents on weekends

[douglas2275]

Yeah, just make sure that you prepare for possible things that can go wrong. I would hate for something sweet to cause pain. I am sure you know her and if she would be open to it.

[0897klpq]

Hmm.. that is actually true.

Maybe I'd just ask her if I could send her something "small" for Christmas.

It would just help if we met each other. That way it wouldn't be so weird but asking permission certainly is a good idea! Thanks!

[douglas2275]

Definitely, I learned my lesson the hard way.

[0897klpq]

My friend who is in LDR told me the same thing his girlfriend got mad he sent her flowers to her work instead of to her home.

Thanks man.

[whatruckus]

Maybe I'm weird, but I would love it if someone sent flowers to me at work. Lol. But, I could understand if certain workplaces don't allow it, or makes her look unprofessional. Always be safe and send them to her house, if you do decide to go with flowers. Personally, I think a nice card would be okay. I bought my SO a small Christmas present before we started dating, we were talking and had the possibility of dating on the table at the time. I got him a nice card and a $30 gift card to GameStop since he loves video games. He got a little upset (in that man way you guys all have about us girls not spending money on you), but I thought it would be a nice gesture. He still liked it, but felt bad he didn't get me anything. So, it just depends. Some people are okay with it (I would be), but some others would be weirded out. If you want to be safe, than sorry, then yea, I think you could tell her that maybe you got her something small. Just as a nice gesture.

You could also just tell her that you would like to do something nice for her for the holidays.

[0897klpq]

What I had originally planned on doing was just taking a picture of a "wafer" and sending it to her.

How polish tradition of Christmas is we go around before main dinner and give the wafer to everyone and give them a blessing for the new year. She is polish as well so instead of sending a photo I could do a card, and add the wafer in it.

My friend made things more complicated by mentioning flowers. I consider flowers more "Romantic" and "I love you" and i wouldn't say we are really in love. Maybe more of just a "crush".

I had asked if she sees us ever being 'more than friends' and she said she'd give it a shot, but I could always find someone else. I figured we can give it a shot, but her reply to me wasn't really a "yes". Anyway, that's me going off topic.

I still have time to decide. The whole situation would be easier if we lived closer or met already but everyone here is in the same position.

Thanks.

[douglas2275]

The wafer ideas actually sounds really cool lol, if you want to prevent awkwardness that could be a great option.

[0897klpq]

For the time being then I will go with the wafer idea. unless things change or I feel good about the flowers.

[TaraMarie]

Assuming she's of age, I say send the flowers. Just let her know to expect a small surprise, and she where she would prefer to get it, at work or home.