The Importance of Surprise in Gift-Giving

[Lunar Snow]

Recently, we celebrated our first anniversary. I sealed my letter to him in silver wax and with my first initial. For a long time, I have been coveting his seal, which he will use on letters for me. He actually designed it himself (which is really neat, since it looks great...and kind of a rarity since he doesn't draw much since taking up music and full-time work). For Christmas, my sister followed my hint and gave me the seal and some wax and I finally used it for the first time with my letter to him. The thing is, I think he might be designing a seal for me after all my admiration of his.

He said his anniversary gift would be late, because he was making it for me and needed to order special supplies and not all had come in yet. I had no idea what it was. However, when he opened my package and looked at the seal on the letter, I caught him looking, well...crestfallen! His words didn't match and he just said how nice it looked and was very interested in how I came by it. Maybe I am reading too much into it, but I got the feeling like I had gone ahead and done something that he was secretly planning to do for me (although, I still would very much like a personalized one made by him!). He went on to like the card and the present, but I can't help but wonder that I maybe spoiled a surprise...and, boy, does my SO like planning surprises for me. D': (I guess I will find out sometime soon...).

Anyway, I wanted to get my little story out there...but I also want to know about you.

How important do you think having an element of surprise is in giving a gift? (I've included a poll, too, as this will be my first time trying to do one in this forum--woohoo! )

[army.boys.girl_x]

I like to buy my boyfriend a little something every now and again, it's mainly when i'm sat in on an evening and browsing the internet (most of my finds go down really well, apart from the last one, pillow cases from boldloft, he told me i shouldn't waste my money on silly things, to me they're not, it's something for him to remember me and us by. He still took his back down to camp with him)

But the first thing i bought for us both was a personalised silver key chain each, which when put together made a full heart, i loved it and had my initials on one half and his on the other. i was really looking forward to giving his half to him either on christmas eve or valentines day, so i'd hidden them in a box, in another box in my unused over night bag in the bottom of my wardrobe. I don't have many hiding places so i thought it was a pretty good one until we were running late one night and i asked him to help me get ready, i just grabbed that particular bag and gave it to him to pack while i threw things at him to put in it. needless to say he saw the box and because he's nosey, opened it, i was gutted, i'd spoilt it for us both in a way. but he said they were brilliant and decided he was having my half and that i should have his (: (i got a massive cuddle for it too (: )

it wasn't exactly how i'd planned to give it to him, but it worked out well in the end.

i've just ordered the bracelets off here and i will be giving his to him as soon as i see him in 11 days (because i want mine lol)

xxx

[13000km]

I've always wanted to, but I always end up showing the stuff to him before I send it because I can't control myself. He also hates when I get him stuff because I shouldn't be spending any unnecessary money! :|

For our first anniversary he brought me horseback riding. I wanted to but he looked it up and told me the place wasn't open in the winter (I went there in December). He had planned it for months and hid it from me. He did tell one of my closest friends what he was planning and she had to hide it for him too. /: His mum asked us what we were going to do the day before and he said we're going to the Oregon coast, but said he'll tell her after we'd gone what we were going to do there. I knew there was going to be a surprise but I didn't know what. On the drive there I had managed to fall asleep until the car was parked. When I got out of the car we were on a farm and I was like "Hey, look! Horses! Can we take pictures?" He laughed and said let's go in first, we'll take pictures when we come out. Inside, I thought we were going to buy some souvenir or meet someone, then I saw a sign that said something about a riding guide and FINALLY put the pieces together and freaked out. He was very pleased with himself. It was freezing on the beach but I had such a good time.

I generally like to know things, but some surprises like this can be nice. I have warned him that if any of his surprises involve an audience, I would NOT be happy, let's hope he remembers. (;

[NaNi]

Most of the time I want to surprise my SO with a little something, but I can't keep my mouth shut and tell her that "something's on the way!" for her.

[Dziubka]

Most of the time I want to surprise my SO with a little something, but I can't keep my mouth shut and tell her that "something's on the way!" for her.

I do that do. I'm soo impatient and our letters can take anything from three days to two weeks, so when I sent him something I always try to casually ask if he has checked the mailbox already. Yeah needless to say that my letters are hardly ever a surprise.

With presents I try to surprise him, though.
I think presents are not about giving someone what they need, at least not presents in a relationship (with parents -> children, it might be different). It's about giving something that'll make them happy and that they'd never buy for themselves, ideally.
I like to give my boyfriend personalized presents (so far they included among others a calendar with photos of us and a pillow with my photo on it).
My boyfriend has given me things I had told him I needed (wanted to buy) before, so not really surprises, but most of the time he surprises me too. And he's becoming more creative with every present

[Talent_2]

I love surprising my SO i always try to think of unusual gifts and novelty gifts for him, he always likes my presents, always eager to see what quirky gift i can find for him next

[TknandLvnIt]

I love surprises but my SO would prefer that I tell him. He kinda hints at what he is sending me when I'd prefer to be surprised lol. I usually tell him that I sent his package and wait for his excited text when he opens it. I sometimes ask if he got it yet but I love hearing him get excited about the things that I send him and knowing that he liked the gift and values it.

[nicole]

Sometimes I surprise him with a drawing or something, usually we'll be talking about something and I'll send him a little something, but I get impatient... so he'll find out I sent a package instead of just a regular letter I freak out when it doesn't arrive as fast as a letter does and I think it got lost or something

[sheraccoon]

I send my SO stuff but most of the time I like to send him something that's a little bit more practical. Both of us are incredibly practical people, and while he'll accept gifts from me, he rather I not waste any money on him either... Usually when it's surprises it's more of a handmade item/unexpected letter/something awesome I found and reminded me of him, but when I really want to get him something, I ask first. I don't want it to just sit somewhere collecting dust. :/

I personally like surprises, but urgh my SO is terrible, TERRIBLE, at such things. Sometimes I wish he'd just swallow his pride/opinions and just BUY ME SOMETHING. I don't expect a lot but even an unexpected gift is really really appreciated. :/ I mean, he surprises me with other things, but this lack of gifts is really frustrating sometimes...