Gifts for...his parents?

[Rosebud]

Alright, so I love giving gifts and for me they express a lot of different things. After two years now it's been on my mind that perhaps I should send his parents a small gift this year for Christmas and it's really been on my mind. A few issues however: I've never met them, I know very little about them.

I know a 'common sense' question is to just ask him, which I've done, but that's proven not so helpful as giving gifts isn't that big of a special occasion for his family. I'm worried about either giving something that seems too intimate and would come off as creepy or trying too hard, but I also don't want to send something too cheap that doesn't seem like I'm trying enough. I'm guessing at this stage a "generic" parent gift is best but since I've never done this before I don't really know what that is.

For his mother I already bought this really pretty Italian silver bracelet with a glass bead and two silver charms, a cat and dog. My sister said the charms may seem too childish so now I'm not sure. My boyfriend did say his mother sometimes wears jewelry so I thought it'd be okay but now...

Eek! Help?

[SDPersona]

I have the same problems with my SO's family and I know them all personally! I wanted to send them some baked goods typical for my country along with smaller gifts for each family member, but sadly I don't think the baked goods parts is going to work out. It takes two weeks for packages to arrive at his place and by then they'll either won't taste that well anymore or the hot climate would melt the chocoloate!

As for the gifts themselves I always thought that I can't go wrong with something I've made myself. They would be unique and made with love. Maybe that'd be something for you, too???

[Moon]

I think, in my opinion, since you haven't met them yet, a "generic parent gift" might be a better idea. I'm not sure about the bracelet being childish, some pet motifs are and some aren't, and I'd only give it if you know for sure that she loves pets. Maybe a single gift for both, like a nice candle, bottle of wine, or giftcard to a restaurant they like would be a safer choice, single, more personal gifts, are hard when you haven't met them. If you bake, cookies, breads or homemade candy can make it more personal, and who doesn't love homemade baked goods?

[PucasKitten]

I wish I could be helpful but im in the same boat I argued with myself forever just to send a card to his mom thanking her for inviting me for Christmas. Im still nervous what her reaction will be, if she finds it wierd or creepy. But I think like the others said generic is good. The bracelet sounds lovely especially if she likes animals.

[Rosebud]

Oh, I hadn't even considered a joint gift! That's a good idea since my family bakes tons of banana bread every year for our friends and family and I'm sure I could send them a loaf of that if I can't find anything else. Thanks for the suggestion, and a bump in hopes for any more ideas

[Hilary]

I agree with the generic joint gift as the best choice. A bottle of nice wine would be my first choice, but make sure they drink it first. It would be a big embarrassment if one of them was a recovering alcoholic or had a religious stance against it. If you are sending baked goods of any kind check with your SO about allergies, medical conditions such as diabetes, etc. Also make sure they don't have an aversion to a certain food. Shockingly (to me) some people don't like chocolate! Fruit baskets are usually pretty safe. Again check with your SO that it is ok. I know a family friend that every year ends up with a ton of fruit baskets and ends up giving them away. Your SO should be able to quickly steer you away from anything like that though. Does his family have a large yard or enjoy gardening etc? Perhaps a nice tree. Maybe send them a nice table floral table decoration in a keepsake vase. Make sure they aren't sensitive to flowers though. Buying gifts for people you don't really know is tough when your wanting to make a good impression. Good luck