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Hesitant newbie here! Open mindedness welcome :)

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    Hesitant newbie here! Open mindedness welcome :)

    Hi all

    I'm a little hesitant to post, but to be perfectly honest I need the support of people who know what an LDR is like.

    My girlfriend and I are in a closed polyamorous relationship (we both have husbands, and each other, but that is all, these aren't open relationships) most people don't understand it, but we have remarkably stable marriages and relationships, and everyone is very happy with where we are. We've known each other for around 5 years online, and started speaking more seriously this past spring. I love them both a huge amount, but we are being smart and taking everything one step at a time. As you all know LDRs require a massive amount of communication, so obviously, my relationships come with a very heavy communication requirement. It would be detrimental to us to have misunderstandings.

    We've had two visits so far (one where I went to stay with her family, and one where she came and stayed with mine) we are planning two more in the next few months (her coming here, and then myself and my family going there). I miss her so very much, and if nothing else I'm sure you can all understand the heart ache that comes with that.

    We eventually plan to relocate our family to be near hers, something that solely depends on job availability... we aren't fond of where we live, and we love her area, so it seems like a natural progression. Probably in a few years.

    I'm... um.. happy to answer questions if need be, I understand my situation isn't "normal" just please don't treat me like a cheater - cheating is lying in my book, and I don't do that. I look forward to getting to know you all!

    #2
    I wish you all the best. I know what it's like to want to be near someone so much you want to scream, or withdraw, or withdraw and scream..

    No judgement here. Not my job.

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      #3
      Thanks so much. And boy did you hit those feelings right on the head!

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        #4
        I wish you the best of luck!! No need to worry about judging on my behalf. Welcome!!
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~*** So Much Love to Share ***~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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          #5
          I don't judge. I'm not that kinda person (:

          Welcome to LFAD!

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            #6
            Love is love is love. We're a pretty open-minded community here. Welcome!

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              #7
              What an interesting type of relationship! I hope you don't face any judgement here, only curiousity at most. I'm certainly not judging - I totally agree with cheating only being cheating when it means someone's lying. Welcome to LFAD!

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                #8
                Well you learn something new every day. Thanks for the enlightenment!

                Welcome! Sorry you're away from your girlfriend. But with lots of patience and a good plan, you all can be together. Best of luck.

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                  #9
                  Thanks so much for the warm welcome

                  (And I don't mind curiosity in the least!)

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                    #10
                    Welcome to LFAD I hope you find a supportive community here. I also have no problem with your relationship, as long as all parties are happy and know what's going on, I'm not one to judge. I agree, cheating is only cheating when lying is involved. Anyway, welcome!

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                      #11
                      Welcome to the community :-)

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                        #12
                        No judgment here either!

                        just a question, if that is ok:

                        do your husbands know each other, anf if they do, they get along?

                        also, how did your families react on that?
                        our story.

                        sigpic

                        02.02.2012 - When we got married and closed the distance once and for all

                        "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

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                          #13
                          Welcome welcome . I don't know about anyone else, but I'd love to hear about how you guys met and also wondering about what Engel mentioned

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by Engel View Post
                            No judgment here either!

                            just a question, if that is ok:

                            do your husbands know each other, anf if they do, they get along?

                            also, how did your families react on that?
                            Perfectly ok

                            Our husbands know each other online, they have not met in person yet (2012 at some point... probably late spring/early summer) they do like each other, have very similar interests, and I'm fairly certain they will become very good friends.

                            Our families do not know at this point in time. It will become necessary when we close the distance, but for now we are taking it one step at a time. We have a very supportive network of close friends who have been amazing, and for now that's all we need.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by yayagrl View Post
                              Welcome welcome . I don't know about anyone else, but I'd love to hear about how you guys met and also wondering about what Engel mentioned
                              We met online several years ago on another forum, and have chit chatted since then. Things turned flirty earlier this year and it kind of went from there - my husband flew me out to meet in person this past summer, and we clicked... even more so than on the phone/online. I'm just thankful we were both honest and up front with our husbands the entire time, they had time to get comfortable with the idea or put the breaks on and say it wasn't okay. (Which obviously they didn't do...) they are both amazing guys and are very supportive of our relationship. It's not typical, for sure, but it really works well for all parties involved.

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