Hello, I'm brand new to the community and to long distance relationships...me and my gf have been dating for almost 4 months now, but we have seen each other twice. We have known each other for about 1 year and 4 months, we met playing a game online last year lol. I don't know where to post our history and a problem I'm facing, but I hope its okay if I put it here for now?..
She liked me since she met me, but I was always skeptical about LDR's, and honestly she creeped me out a little lol. When we met, she was having trouble getting over her ex (who she has a wonderful son with), they had already broken up a year prior to me meeting her, but since they have a kid, they were still in each others lives often. I would always hear her talking about how she wanted him to like her again, how she wanted her son to have a father, because he was one that didn't care, and barely even saw him, and she was sad saying that she would never get over him. But a few months after we met, she started asking me for my Facebook, and my phone number, and she wanted me to get Skype....and yeah, I felt weirded out. And she admitted that she liked me a lot. I mean she was a really fun person to play with and talk to on the game, at one point I even deleted her from my friends list on the game and my Facebook. I did already like her a little bit as well but I just didn't know what to do, a few days later, I added her back on the game, and then a few weeks later I added her back on Facebook. Later down the line I did also add her on Skype. And we would spend hours and hours every single night just talking, and almost every time she would tell me about how much she liked me, and how it sucked that I didn't like her lol. But she was persistent, and I did actually like her, but I was scared of investing myself in a LDR, so I kept telling her that she would find someone better for her, and encouraged her to go out and try and meet people.
Around February of this year (about a year after we inititally met, after much insistence, I agreed to go visit her around June...at first I was just hoping to hang out as friends. But I had been liking her more and more every day for a few months now, and she had taken my advice about trying to meet people, and she went on 2 dates, telling me all about them because at this point I l was like her BFF lol, she told me everything. But I couldn't take it anymore, I had to tell her that I liked her, and I wanted to try and be with her, so in March we finally started dating, and I just couldn't wait until June to see her, so I went to visit her in April, and it was amazing, we were both so happy! Everything was perfect. She wanted to move start saving to move to be with me. We soon after made plans for her to visit me at the end of May, she was here for 10 days. She got sick a few days before coming though lol, so she was sick her entire time here...which made me give her extra attention, trying to give her medicine and take care of her. The first 3 days were just as amazing as when I went to see her, but one night when we were with my parents, I was just so nervous, shy and whispered to her that she was clingy, because she was on my arm 24/7 lol. This was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made, and I'm still very, very upset at myself for saying something so stupid, my dad even yelled at me, explaining that she feels comfortable with me, in a new place, around new people, and she wanted to be close to me.
But anyways, the next day (4th day), things were suddenly quiet...on all of our car rides, we barely spoke, when we were hanging out, we would barely talk...she was no longer lovey dovey with me, I ate it. And on the 5th day, she finally told me that what I said had been eating at her, I had already forgotten about it though, because it was just something that came out of my mouth when I was really nervous and shy, and she told me she didn't like all of the attention I was giving her, which really confused me, because it was her who was stuck to me the entire time we were together, but when I tried to show her affection she now didn't like it? But that day went just like before, we barely spoke, everything I did seemed to annoy her...it was so bad, that that night, I walked out of her hotel room when we were going to bed, I felt so uncomfortable and angry, I didn't know what to do, why all I did was annoy her, as soon as I walked out the door though, she called me and asked where I was going...I came back to the room a few minutes later, and just laid there angry and sad and finally fell asleep. The next day I had texted with her sister a bit, to ask for advice, she said we needed space...and she called her and talked to her for a while. After that, things seemed to get better, she spoke to me more, smiled and we enjoyed our last few days together.
Shortly after she returned home however, she became distant, I could tell...and one day I finally asked her, why it felt like I was losing her. And she told me, that she was confused, she said she still had feelings for her ex, and that she wasn't ready to be with anyone.
EDIT: (I WANT TO PUT THIS HERE NOW, AS I AM WRITING THIS POST, SHE CALLED ME AND TOLD ME SHE DIDN'T THINK WE WERE WORKING OUT, SHE WANTED TO FOCUS ON HER AND HER SON AND GO BACK TO SCHOOL, AND SHE DIDN'T FEEL THE SAME ANYMORE, I KNEW IT, I COULD FEEL IT AGAIN, THAT'S WHY I DECIDED TO JOIN THIS SITE TODAY AND ASK FOR HELP LOL ).
So she broke up with me...later that night though, she was telling me that she felt like she made the biggest mistake of her life. A few days later, she told me she had made her decision, and it was me, she wanted to be with me. I was happy of course, because at this point, I had fallen in love with her, but I really wanted her to take her time, so I held off before getting back together...but that was only for 1 day lol, I should have given her more time before I took her back. So we got back together, and things were great again for about a week. Then she was distant again...before when we used to Skype/ talk on the phone/ text/ play games all the time...now we barely texted, Never Skyped, and if we ever did play together, she didn't sound happy. And so we got into a fight, and I tried to explain to her why I felt lonely and acted stupid and jealous. She is someone, who has a tough life, is always stressed, and makes it really hard to trust people and let them help her. She doesn't think she can have a happy life, she doesn't think she can handle a move, she doesn't think she can survive in an apartment here in Colorado. And she finally told me she didn't even feel like moving to Colorado, she doesn't see how it can work out. So she wants to move out of her parents house where she lives, to live on her own with her son in her own town. And I supported this, I supported everything she ever wanted to do, even if it meant delaying the time when we would be together.
And so, the past week or so, she has again been really distant, we don't ever talk, she just got a new tattoo and posted it on Facebook before I knew anything about it, before when she got her first one, she told me all about it, when she was getting it and sent me pictures the instant she got it. I was the reason she quit smoking, I helped her with that, I helped her try and get over her ex, when we met she didn't have a job, I helped to push her to look for a job, and was super excited when she got one, I was helping her with her temper issues, I have done so much for her, and done nothing but support her, how is it so easy for her to just drop me? But anyways now I'm forced to look for help online here...and now that she just called me and broke up with me again, saying she doesn't feel the same, after everything I've done for her, and how she just wants to focus on her, without even giving me the opportunity to help her with these things, saving money, paying her debts and stuff, I was willing to do anything for her. She said she has felt like this for a month, she has been draggin me along, her birthday was last week, I sent her gifts and money to help her out because she was really stressed about her bills. We finally Skyped for the longest time lol, and I had my family sing her happy birthday with me.
Now, what do I do, is it over? Is that it? Can I save this at all? I want to see her and talk face to face, but that wont be possible for at least another month while I get the money for the trip. Thank you guys.
She liked me since she met me, but I was always skeptical about LDR's, and honestly she creeped me out a little lol. When we met, she was having trouble getting over her ex (who she has a wonderful son with), they had already broken up a year prior to me meeting her, but since they have a kid, they were still in each others lives often. I would always hear her talking about how she wanted him to like her again, how she wanted her son to have a father, because he was one that didn't care, and barely even saw him, and she was sad saying that she would never get over him. But a few months after we met, she started asking me for my Facebook, and my phone number, and she wanted me to get Skype....and yeah, I felt weirded out. And she admitted that she liked me a lot. I mean she was a really fun person to play with and talk to on the game, at one point I even deleted her from my friends list on the game and my Facebook. I did already like her a little bit as well but I just didn't know what to do, a few days later, I added her back on the game, and then a few weeks later I added her back on Facebook. Later down the line I did also add her on Skype. And we would spend hours and hours every single night just talking, and almost every time she would tell me about how much she liked me, and how it sucked that I didn't like her lol. But she was persistent, and I did actually like her, but I was scared of investing myself in a LDR, so I kept telling her that she would find someone better for her, and encouraged her to go out and try and meet people.
Around February of this year (about a year after we inititally met, after much insistence, I agreed to go visit her around June...at first I was just hoping to hang out as friends. But I had been liking her more and more every day for a few months now, and she had taken my advice about trying to meet people, and she went on 2 dates, telling me all about them because at this point I l was like her BFF lol, she told me everything. But I couldn't take it anymore, I had to tell her that I liked her, and I wanted to try and be with her, so in March we finally started dating, and I just couldn't wait until June to see her, so I went to visit her in April, and it was amazing, we were both so happy! Everything was perfect. She wanted to move start saving to move to be with me. We soon after made plans for her to visit me at the end of May, she was here for 10 days. She got sick a few days before coming though lol, so she was sick her entire time here...which made me give her extra attention, trying to give her medicine and take care of her. The first 3 days were just as amazing as when I went to see her, but one night when we were with my parents, I was just so nervous, shy and whispered to her that she was clingy, because she was on my arm 24/7 lol. This was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made, and I'm still very, very upset at myself for saying something so stupid, my dad even yelled at me, explaining that she feels comfortable with me, in a new place, around new people, and she wanted to be close to me.
But anyways, the next day (4th day), things were suddenly quiet...on all of our car rides, we barely spoke, when we were hanging out, we would barely talk...she was no longer lovey dovey with me, I ate it. And on the 5th day, she finally told me that what I said had been eating at her, I had already forgotten about it though, because it was just something that came out of my mouth when I was really nervous and shy, and she told me she didn't like all of the attention I was giving her, which really confused me, because it was her who was stuck to me the entire time we were together, but when I tried to show her affection she now didn't like it? But that day went just like before, we barely spoke, everything I did seemed to annoy her...it was so bad, that that night, I walked out of her hotel room when we were going to bed, I felt so uncomfortable and angry, I didn't know what to do, why all I did was annoy her, as soon as I walked out the door though, she called me and asked where I was going...I came back to the room a few minutes later, and just laid there angry and sad and finally fell asleep. The next day I had texted with her sister a bit, to ask for advice, she said we needed space...and she called her and talked to her for a while. After that, things seemed to get better, she spoke to me more, smiled and we enjoyed our last few days together.
Shortly after she returned home however, she became distant, I could tell...and one day I finally asked her, why it felt like I was losing her. And she told me, that she was confused, she said she still had feelings for her ex, and that she wasn't ready to be with anyone.
EDIT: (I WANT TO PUT THIS HERE NOW, AS I AM WRITING THIS POST, SHE CALLED ME AND TOLD ME SHE DIDN'T THINK WE WERE WORKING OUT, SHE WANTED TO FOCUS ON HER AND HER SON AND GO BACK TO SCHOOL, AND SHE DIDN'T FEEL THE SAME ANYMORE, I KNEW IT, I COULD FEEL IT AGAIN, THAT'S WHY I DECIDED TO JOIN THIS SITE TODAY AND ASK FOR HELP LOL ).
So she broke up with me...later that night though, she was telling me that she felt like she made the biggest mistake of her life. A few days later, she told me she had made her decision, and it was me, she wanted to be with me. I was happy of course, because at this point, I had fallen in love with her, but I really wanted her to take her time, so I held off before getting back together...but that was only for 1 day lol, I should have given her more time before I took her back. So we got back together, and things were great again for about a week. Then she was distant again...before when we used to Skype/ talk on the phone/ text/ play games all the time...now we barely texted, Never Skyped, and if we ever did play together, she didn't sound happy. And so we got into a fight, and I tried to explain to her why I felt lonely and acted stupid and jealous. She is someone, who has a tough life, is always stressed, and makes it really hard to trust people and let them help her. She doesn't think she can have a happy life, she doesn't think she can handle a move, she doesn't think she can survive in an apartment here in Colorado. And she finally told me she didn't even feel like moving to Colorado, she doesn't see how it can work out. So she wants to move out of her parents house where she lives, to live on her own with her son in her own town. And I supported this, I supported everything she ever wanted to do, even if it meant delaying the time when we would be together.
And so, the past week or so, she has again been really distant, we don't ever talk, she just got a new tattoo and posted it on Facebook before I knew anything about it, before when she got her first one, she told me all about it, when she was getting it and sent me pictures the instant she got it. I was the reason she quit smoking, I helped her with that, I helped her try and get over her ex, when we met she didn't have a job, I helped to push her to look for a job, and was super excited when she got one, I was helping her with her temper issues, I have done so much for her, and done nothing but support her, how is it so easy for her to just drop me? But anyways now I'm forced to look for help online here...and now that she just called me and broke up with me again, saying she doesn't feel the same, after everything I've done for her, and how she just wants to focus on her, without even giving me the opportunity to help her with these things, saving money, paying her debts and stuff, I was willing to do anything for her. She said she has felt like this for a month, she has been draggin me along, her birthday was last week, I sent her gifts and money to help her out because she was really stressed about her bills. We finally Skyped for the longest time lol, and I had my family sing her happy birthday with me.
Now, what do I do, is it over? Is that it? Can I save this at all? I want to see her and talk face to face, but that wont be possible for at least another month while I get the money for the trip. Thank you guys.