Hi everyone, I'm very happy to have found this website. It's just nice to know that lots of other people are succeeding in maintaining a long distance relationships, my situation so far isn't nearly as difficult as many of yours but I was hoping for some advice.
I'm Emma, I'm 26. I work in a venue that takes in lots of touring shows. Meeting lots of interesting people from all over the world is one of the things I love most about my job.
A few months ago this man arrived at our venue for a day as tour manager. At the time I was in a relationship with another person who was much closer to me in distance and age so I wasn't on the look out for anybody else. Throughout the day me and him chatted a lot about all sorts of different things, we got on well and he seemed to like my work and I was hoping to maybe get a bit of touring work from him. Well that's what I told myself at the time. Anyway after the show some of the crew and musicians invited me out for a drink, I often find men who have been on tour for a long time like a bit of a flirt and I sometimes get asked out for post show drinks, an offer I always turn down especially after what usually ends as a 16hour work day for me. This time I didn't, again convincing myself I was after a work opportunity. At the end of the night me and this charming, funny, older guy swapped numbers and he invited me out to a fun restaurant he knew next time he was in London. The following day I got a text, complaining of a hangover and asking me which days I was able to meet him in London. We planned to meet several times over the next few weeks and both of us cancelled a couple of times due to work commitments, we were texting each other more and more regularly, it was becoming clear that the meeting we were arranging had little to do with work. I'd started keeping my phone on silent when I was with my boyfriend, even though he knew I was planning on meeting this guy in the hope of some work. I got a phone call apologising for canceling another meeting I literally swooned at the sound of his voice. I knew I had to break up with my boyfriend. Our relationship had been dwindling for a little while it was clear it wasn't meant to be but I still felt awful having to tell him I just wanted to be friends.
Eventually we both set a concrete date, and promised each other it was unbreakable. I was so excited I was counting down the days, and before long our plans had gone from dinner to afternoon drinks, dinner, late night adventures and sharing a twin bedroom. Again we talked a lot and late night adventures turned into, well, late night adventures. I've never let a relationship move so fast but knowing how long it had taken us to set this first date I wasn't about to be waiting the same amount of time again for another opportunity.
From that first date we've been texting, calling or skyping mostly every day and we've managed so far to meet roughly every two weeks, which I know reading this forum is a luxury most of you don't have. I don't know how much longer we can maintain such regular meetings, it doesn't seem very far but it costs about £70 and takes about five hours whichever mode of transport you choose. Both of our schedules are erratic and subject to change. He is away on tour at the moment and not being able to Skype because we're both so busy and are in clashing time zones has been very difficult for both of us. He travels quite often and I'm about to go out on a short tour myself soon so neither of us are in one place for too long at a time probably ever really.
There are lots of complications going on in my mind. I think if this wasn't happening over long distance I'd not worry so much about them. This man is a full 20 years older than me and sometimes I worry he could be with me just for kicks and I could be being a bit naive. Though everything he says and does indicates otherwise. There have been a couple of occasions we've lost contact for a couple of days and I worry he might not consider us exclusive. He's talked about a possible holiday together in the future and we talk about each others feelings about marriage and kids and all sorts of big things in a general way. However we've not had 'the conversation' yet. I really think I've fallen in love with him I can't stop thinking about him. I know I have to talk to him about how I feel but I'm scared it might be too much too soon and I might frighten him off. I know it's a difficult thing to do in any relationship but I'm sure my doubts at this stage are worsened by the distance. I want to talk to him about it face to face obviously but when we manage to spend a couple of days together I'm so happy I don't want anything to ruin it.
I was hoping to hear some advice on how some of you coped with this stage in your relationship and if you suffered the same doubts?
Thanks for reading if you got this far, sorry if it got a bit boring.
Emma.
I'm Emma, I'm 26. I work in a venue that takes in lots of touring shows. Meeting lots of interesting people from all over the world is one of the things I love most about my job.
A few months ago this man arrived at our venue for a day as tour manager. At the time I was in a relationship with another person who was much closer to me in distance and age so I wasn't on the look out for anybody else. Throughout the day me and him chatted a lot about all sorts of different things, we got on well and he seemed to like my work and I was hoping to maybe get a bit of touring work from him. Well that's what I told myself at the time. Anyway after the show some of the crew and musicians invited me out for a drink, I often find men who have been on tour for a long time like a bit of a flirt and I sometimes get asked out for post show drinks, an offer I always turn down especially after what usually ends as a 16hour work day for me. This time I didn't, again convincing myself I was after a work opportunity. At the end of the night me and this charming, funny, older guy swapped numbers and he invited me out to a fun restaurant he knew next time he was in London. The following day I got a text, complaining of a hangover and asking me which days I was able to meet him in London. We planned to meet several times over the next few weeks and both of us cancelled a couple of times due to work commitments, we were texting each other more and more regularly, it was becoming clear that the meeting we were arranging had little to do with work. I'd started keeping my phone on silent when I was with my boyfriend, even though he knew I was planning on meeting this guy in the hope of some work. I got a phone call apologising for canceling another meeting I literally swooned at the sound of his voice. I knew I had to break up with my boyfriend. Our relationship had been dwindling for a little while it was clear it wasn't meant to be but I still felt awful having to tell him I just wanted to be friends.
Eventually we both set a concrete date, and promised each other it was unbreakable. I was so excited I was counting down the days, and before long our plans had gone from dinner to afternoon drinks, dinner, late night adventures and sharing a twin bedroom. Again we talked a lot and late night adventures turned into, well, late night adventures. I've never let a relationship move so fast but knowing how long it had taken us to set this first date I wasn't about to be waiting the same amount of time again for another opportunity.
From that first date we've been texting, calling or skyping mostly every day and we've managed so far to meet roughly every two weeks, which I know reading this forum is a luxury most of you don't have. I don't know how much longer we can maintain such regular meetings, it doesn't seem very far but it costs about £70 and takes about five hours whichever mode of transport you choose. Both of our schedules are erratic and subject to change. He is away on tour at the moment and not being able to Skype because we're both so busy and are in clashing time zones has been very difficult for both of us. He travels quite often and I'm about to go out on a short tour myself soon so neither of us are in one place for too long at a time probably ever really.
There are lots of complications going on in my mind. I think if this wasn't happening over long distance I'd not worry so much about them. This man is a full 20 years older than me and sometimes I worry he could be with me just for kicks and I could be being a bit naive. Though everything he says and does indicates otherwise. There have been a couple of occasions we've lost contact for a couple of days and I worry he might not consider us exclusive. He's talked about a possible holiday together in the future and we talk about each others feelings about marriage and kids and all sorts of big things in a general way. However we've not had 'the conversation' yet. I really think I've fallen in love with him I can't stop thinking about him. I know I have to talk to him about how I feel but I'm scared it might be too much too soon and I might frighten him off. I know it's a difficult thing to do in any relationship but I'm sure my doubts at this stage are worsened by the distance. I want to talk to him about it face to face obviously but when we manage to spend a couple of days together I'm so happy I don't want anything to ruin it.
I was hoping to hear some advice on how some of you coped with this stage in your relationship and if you suffered the same doubts?
Thanks for reading if you got this far, sorry if it got a bit boring.
Emma.
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