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    #1

    Heyyyy

    My name is Jenn. I'm 24 years old and I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. I found this site after spending the summer with my boyfriend in Derby, Kansas and looking for support when I finally had to come home. It's been 2 days and I'm still an emotional wreck. He's 38, has 4 beautiful children and there is no doubt in my mind that he's the one God created me to be with. We are finding out that the distance now is far more horrific than before we met and I'm thinking of taking another quarter off school and finding something close to him. Is that just after shock jitters or am I not cut out for long distance? He is just as sad as I am that we aren't physically together right now. 2 days!!!! I have until next Monday to make a decision. Advice?

    Note: I am 3 quarters away from graduating from art school. 9 months. 263 days. Sounds do able but this is absolutely heartbreaking being away.

    Jenn
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    #2
    Welcome to LFAD!

    I would say since you only have 9 months left of school stick it out until then. The distance always feels larger after you are back from a visit with your SO. You have us here to help you along with way
    Last edited by rixue; September 26, 2012, 02:38 PM.


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      #3
      I agree with Rixue... After seeing each other, the distance between my bf and I always seem to be too much to take!! The first 2 times, we almost ended it because there was no way we could close the distance and it seemed like we just could NOT handle being apart... But then we get into the routine of things...

      Look at this way, being long distance really forces you to work on your relationship and develop communications skills that can be invaluable in a life together... In the grand scheme of life, what is another 9 months? (this is what I am trying to tell myself about the next 3 years + it will take for my bf and I to be able to close the distance!)
      First met online: June, 2010
      First met in person: August, 2011 (See the story of our first visit)
      Second visit: December, 2011 (Christmas and New Years together!)
      Third visit together: August, 2012
      Fourth visit: December 2012 (Christmas and New Years together!)
      Fifth visit: July 2013 (2 weeks here in Canada)
      Sixth visit: December 2013 (Christmas and New Years together again and I finally met his mother!)
      Next visit: Unknown... for now but coming up ASAP

      Comment

        #4
        You're right. Like i get these highs of determination and be like pshhh i could make a baby in that time... if I just finish it out we could sit so much more comfortable and then I see his pictures on my computer or his voice on the phone and so close to saying eff itttt. I have to be near him!!!! It's nice to know that gets easier. We have some dates set to see each other again in November but that seems ages away. I also worry about not being able to focus on school like I need to to finish. I have liked the fact that we talk more now on the phone than we did in person. Not that we didn't communicate when we were together, just now we are forced to talk more. He plays these little games and jokes now and he's been the overly cheery one to try to cheer me up. Went as far as finding a piece of my long brown hair in the shower and forming it to say LOVE and took a picture of it this morning.

        Also do you have any advice in dealing with the non-believers? I have a lot of nay-sayers around here or people that just want to plant doubt in my head.... have you dealt with that?

        Comment

          #5
          We have to just ignore the non-believers (that's hard!) I remember once when I referred to him as my bf, and the person I was talking to laughed and said "he's not REALLY your boyfriend... it's a long distance thing." With some people, there is just no point!!

          You are right about it being hard to focus... I work from home and have been having such a difficult time concentrating in the past years... I keep getting distracted and day dreaming and the only way I buckle down and really get work done is when I remind myself that the harder I work on y own life, the easier it will be for us to close the distance!! I have never been a patient person... My mother always used to lecture me as a child and teenager about how I always needed instant gratification... so this has been a very heavy learning experience for me!! But some things are worth waiting for and working on!
          First met online: June, 2010
          First met in person: August, 2011 (See the story of our first visit)
          Second visit: December, 2011 (Christmas and New Years together!)
          Third visit together: August, 2012
          Fourth visit: December 2012 (Christmas and New Years together!)
          Fifth visit: July 2013 (2 weeks here in Canada)
          Sixth visit: December 2013 (Christmas and New Years together again and I finally met his mother!)
          Next visit: Unknown... for now but coming up ASAP

          Comment

            #6
            UGH! Tell me about it. It was pretty messy when we first started dating because he is in the middle of a divorce and I got the homewrecker lecture, the infidelity isn't going to stop with you bs. It's been a long windy road but I know in my heart hes the one.

            So just buckling down? Is there a focus pill/drink I can take? :P I hear you with it has to be instant. I'm about to choke on want.

            My sister also had a long distance relationship but she has never been the touchy feely type of person that I am. Both me and my SO are hopeless romantics where her and her now husband are a little more conservative.

            Comment

              #7
              Oh! We have so much in common!! I'm a homewrecker too!! (Except it was my own marriage I "wrecked"...) Now my family and people who know me well realize how much better off I am... but it's been a long road towards that... I also have a sister who is less touchy feely than me, and who did the long distance thing... (Her husband is from England) but they reunited often and spend months together at a time when they were together... She more or less supports my long distance relationship now... but she still doesn't think it is the best idea... because our obstacles to closing the distance are so big...

              I think being touchy feely actually makes us better suited for a long distance relationship...

              It seems most people you will encounter on this forum are really the romantic type... you have to be to put all your hopes and dreams about love in a person that is not physically with you!

              Though yesterday, I realized I would be spending Canadian Thanksgiving (in less than 2 weeks) by myself and I felt sooo tempted to up my credit limit on my credit cards and just fly over to be with him for 3 days... I talked myself out of it by reminding myself that the better shape I'm in financially, the best chances we have at closing the distance... eventually... still... so frustrating!!!
              First met online: June, 2010
              First met in person: August, 2011 (See the story of our first visit)
              Second visit: December, 2011 (Christmas and New Years together!)
              Third visit together: August, 2012
              Fourth visit: December 2012 (Christmas and New Years together!)
              Fifth visit: July 2013 (2 weeks here in Canada)
              Sixth visit: December 2013 (Christmas and New Years together again and I finally met his mother!)
              Next visit: Unknown... for now but coming up ASAP

              Comment

                #8
                Haha go us homewreckers. Before him and I met for the first time my mother told her sisters and parents that I wrecked their marriage. Although that wasn't the case (his ex has a long history of drug addiction/ mental illness/ shit personality ect) even if I did break up their marriage (which is common law anyway) I feel no remorse. (Harsh but true.) People still occasionally view me like that. My sister finds me selfish for wanting to immediately see him again, or I'm possibly too immature to have a long distance relationship. All factors are so frustrating. I say freaking go for it, if this guy makes you happy...show them.

                I told Marc that last night, I said "you know I want to marry you because I love you and adore you my feelings for you are unfailing.........that being said... i want to prove to these people we made it". I'm noticing a romantic trend, I love the ideas about writing to each other and tv dates (which we will have in a few hours) and ect. I think long kisses in the airport are romantic. The tears and massive amounts of snot...not so much.

                I hope the holiday isn't too lonely. I had to leave him on my birthday in june to come home..shittiest birthday ever and then I missed his for being here. I did call a pizza place and had them deliver a pizza to his house for his birthday. Maybe he can get a KFC meal w/ mash potatoes and stuff and you two can celebrate the giving of thanks day with each other. If I had a ticket to spot you I would.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Welcome to LFAD 9 months will fly by, trust me. And as for haters, they're only jealous or something similar, so just ignore them and bask in your happiness. That's one sure way to get them to shut up eventually.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Honour View Post
                    That's one sure way to get them to shut up eventually.

                    Favorite point made ever.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Welcome to LFAD! Hope things have been getting better for you. Unfortunately there are always going to be people who don't believe in your relationship, but you can't let it get you down.Like everyone else has said the transition to seeing each other and then not seeing each other is tough, but you have us to help you out. Can't wait to see you around the forum!


                      Comment

                        #12
                        True. But LDR are hard enough, I hate how people prefer to make them harder rather than try to comfort you. I have friends refer to him as "that Guy" and even that's hard to hear. I'm learning to tune haters out.

                        I get to see him again soon...as good as that feels, it almost feels like teasing.

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