New to LDR and OVERWHELMED

[wortheverysecond]

Hi All!

I am new to my LDR. BF and I have been together for 2.5 years, living together in California. Unfortunately, events in my family have made it necessary for meto move to Florida. BF has small children and is staying in Cali.

I think the hardest thing for me is not having any kind of end date. Our goal is to have him move here eventually, but that could be years and years...until his children get old enough that having dad on the other side of the country is more of an adventure than a "bad thing" (neither of us wants to hurt them).

I am lucky that I have a telecommuting job and will be able to go back for some blocks of time, but $$ and my obligations here will not let me do that all the time.

It's all just overwhelming.

But even a difficult relationship with him is better than an easy one with anyone else. He's my guy.

Anyway...I thought support might be a good idea...so here I am!!

[Kiyama]

Hello and welcome to lfad
You'll find a lot of support here. Your situation sounds tough and I hope you can figure things out eventually.

[rixue]

Welcome to LFAD!

[milaya]

Welcome! I hope you'll find the support here that you need.

[Oldblighty]

Hi All!

I am new to my LDR. BF and I have been together for 2.5 years, living together in California. Unfortunately, events in my family have made it necessary for meto move to Florida. BF has small children and is staying in Cali.

I think the hardest thing for me is not having any kind of end date. Our goal is to have him move here eventually, but that could be years and years...until his children get old enough that having dad on the other side of the country is more of an adventure than a "bad thing" (neither of us wants to hurt them).

I am lucky that I have a telecommuting job and will be able to go back for some blocks of time, but $$ and my obligations here will not let me do that all the time.

It's all just overwhelming.

But even a difficult relationship with him is better than an easy one with anyone else. He's my guy.

Anyway...I thought support might be a good idea...so here I am!!

Hi & Welcome dear!! I really know how your feeling with regards to not having an end date. The not knowing when your going to finally be together is really hard. I presume you will visit him from time to time before you close the distance? I think having these trips really helps keep the relationship strong...I think that's why me & my hubby struggle so much because we can't even have them to keep us going.......

[Softy]

Welcome : )

Yes, not having a date set to close the distance is very hard.
It's the same with my bf, we are trying to close the distance, but sometimes there are tons of obstacles in the way.
Often it's time and/or money.

But keep strong, you both love each other and you will make it : )

/hugs

[Verojoon]

I understand your situation! In my case, I'm the one with the young children, so I will not be able to move to my SO ever.. (or not until they are completely grown) My SO has his own obstacles to keep him from coming to me but we have decided we would try to tackle them... What works for us is to have milestones in place... Different life events that may bring us closer to closing the distance, and at least we can work towards those...

Is there nothing about your family situation that can change in the next few years that would allow you to move back to California? Not knowing your situation, it seems to me that this could be an alternate option for the two of you to work on.

Well, I hope you figure it all out sooner than you expect! And Welcome to LFAD!

[Moon]

Welcome to LFAD You'll find your situation might be hard, but there are always people on this site who can relate! I have no end date either, being international and both well into our careers, neither of us can just up and move, and who knows how long it'll be til we can; that, and I have a daughter. She's an adult, but it doesn't mean I'm ready to leave her behind just yet. Here, people understand and are in similar boats, so you'll definitely find support, and that makes things a little easier.

[wortheverysecond]

Thank you everyone! It really is comforting to know people are going through similar situations and making it work There is so much nay-saying!

There's not much hope that my situation will change soon, but the good news is we WILL get trips to see each other. I know we will make it work-I just know it won't be easy! I have a feeling I'll be around here for a long time! haha.

Thanks again for the welcome!!

[Kristin91]

Welcome to the forum!

[dukes2011]

Hello and welcome to LFAD! It can definitely be overwhelming and the idea of no end date can be daunting, but you make it work when you love someone so much. There are plenty of people on here who understand where you're coming from, so that has helped me tremendously when I get down about being in a LDR.