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Me and my Potato

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    Me and my Potato

    Hi, I'm new to this site. I've spent almost 3 days now looking around and deciding whether or not I'd truly commit to being a part of this community. In doing so I've noticed that this website and the other members of it are what I really need to get through the rest of this time I'm spending apart from my significant other, or SO I guess as you call them. I'd like to tell you all a little about myself before I tell you about my LDR, something important you should know to why being LD is such a huge deal for me.

    My name is Lauren Elizabeth, I'm 19, and I have had Bipolar Disorder since I was 3, but was officially diagnosed and started taking medicine when I was 8. Those who are familiar with bipolar know that one of the symptoms of it is known as Separation Anxiety. It also happens very often in new born babies and toddlers, but for those with bipolar disorder it's not often they grow out of it. That was one of my worst symptoms when I was a child. I'd only ever had it for my mother, until I met my boyfriend. My SA is a real issue, and along with the mood swings and hard hitting depression, having an LDR is one of the hardest experiences I've had so far in my life. Now, I know many people are very reserved about divulging too much information about themselves, but I've always been very open about my disorder, in hopes I might spread knowledge of it, and get rid of some of the stigma behind mood disorders.

    I met my boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 18. It was April 29, 2011, at a relay for life rally. We spent the whole night together, and eventually the whole morning. We became so close without even meaning to. Unfortunately I had a boyfriend. A month of talking on the phone late at night and becoming even closer, closer than I'd ever been to anyone, I decided I couldn't be without him. I broke up with my boyfriend for him, something I'd never done before for anyone, the night before my birthday, June 5 of that same year. We met at midnight on the old field near my house on the 6th, he held me, told me everything was going to be okay. I could hear fireworks in his voice. We had only just met, yet we already felt inseparable. I was making a very risky decision because I was still in high school and I knew at the end of the summer he would be going off to college. We were so happy together though. That summer is one I will never forget. I fell in love for the first time in my life that summer. And for the first time I felt stable in my emotions. Like I would be happy forever as long as he was there. We were CD for 3 or 4 months before he left for college. We stayed together like it was our only option, like the idea of us breaking up because of a little distance was laughable.

    I stayed in our home town and he went to college in the same state, coming back to visit every other weekend. My mom and my sister hated him. They hated that I broke up with my boyfriend for him. They thought he was going to break my heart and I shouldn't trust him. I thought differently. We got to spend the summer together the next year. We were only 316 miles apart at the time. Then the first semester of my freshman year of college I couldn't handle my mom's hatred any longer. I was tired of the lack of support I was recieving. My boyfriend suggested I move in with my dad. The only catch was my dad lived in Massachusetts where as I had been living in Florida at the time. I agreed that that was the best option for me. I began packing and that Christmas break, 2012, I said goodbye to my SO and my sister and I drove across the country to my new home. I've lived in Massachusetts now for 7 months, my SO and I have only seen eachother twice since I've been here. He says he's doing at least one more year of college in Florida, maybe even two. I miss him so much, and all the time. We skype every day, but I'm having a hard time coping with the distance. When I feel depressed it gets so much harder for me because I feel like I need him with me all the time. I've begun talking to him more and more about closing the distance, about him coming up here and us finding a place together so I don't feel so bad. I've worked with my therapist about my SA and it's not as bad anymore. I still don't have many friends up here, so I don't have many people I can talk to about this. My best friend from florida, believe it or not, was in a long distance relationship with a boy from, guess where, Mass. But she closed the distance within the first six months of them dating. Now she's living up here, but at least an hour away from me.

    Anyway that's my story. I'd love it if I got some feedback. Maybe I'll post more about our story. I'm glad I found this community to help me get through this. The scariest part so far has been not knowing when I'll be with him next. The future used to look so clear in my eyes before we went LD. Now it's hazy and it's hard to tell if we'll be together at all.

    #2
    Welcome to the forum... Many people here dont know when they will be closing the distance and i am one of them. So hang in there taht haze will go away soon and you will be able to see future clearly

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      #3
      Thanks for your support. I've had a hard time reaching out, and everyone I've talked to has told me long distance doesn't work. I'm really glad I've found this website, though!

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        #4
        Hi Lauren!

        Mental illnesses can really put a huge drain on a person (depression, general/social anxiety & autism for me.) but it is good to surround yourself with positive things (like us!) to help you get through the cloudy, hazy days. LFAD is a definitely choice place to be when you feel a little lonely about your LDR because There's lots of us in the same boat!

        We'll help you through it, just stay strong sweetie. *hug*

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          #5
          Welcome to LFAD I'm sure you'll find this community very helpful. You're not alone. We'll get through that dreaded time between visits together. My SO and I are also one of those couples who don't know yet when we'll be able to close the distance.

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            #6
            Welcome

            I commend you for being so open about yourself in your intro post. It really gave a sense of who you are.

            Hang in there, don't look too far into the future because it can seem overwhelming if you don't know how/when you'll close the distance. just take it visit by visit - it was always easier for me when I had a countdown to see him
            Met Online: February 2009
            Feelings grew: January 2011
            First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
            Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
            Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
            Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
            Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
            Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
            Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
            Engaged: 1st of July 2012
            Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
            Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
            Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
            Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
            Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
            Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013

            Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013

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              #7
              Hi Lauren, I'm Lauren! And welcome to LFAD. We'll just be here to help you through it... don't worry about the future too much. Time will come that you'll be with your SO

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