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Curse of "woman brain"

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    Curse of "woman brain"

    Hi, I am new (obviously) and made an account here because I over analyze and worry and think way too much now. But i also have a lot of hope.

    Long story short, we met unexpectedly in Las Vegas and immediately hit it off. I am from Seattle, he is from Sydney. We hung out for 2 days and then had to go home. He buys a plane ticket to see me 3 months later. Honeymoon phase for that 3 months. He finally visits for 2 weeks. He leaves, honeymoon stage over. -- For him anyway. I've felt a significant less amount of attempted communication from him. Maybe because he's comfortable i'm not sure. Alot less expression of feelings and lovey dovey ness. It makes me sad. And think alot. I wonder if he liked the mystery of it more, and now that he knows what it will be like, he is less interested. OR he is comfortable and because he thinks he "already has me" he doesnt have to try to woo me anymore. Anyways I am distraught. Trying to figure out a way to cope, and what words to say when we have this "talk" so i don't offend him or corner him. How to put out there what my needs are without seeming needy. Haha. I am such a mess.

    Anyways hello!

    #2
    Hie,

    when you were together for those 2 weeks, did you set a date for your next meeting, order plain tickets or anything like that? Just thinking because I guess those plain tickets are expensive. Can he afford another trip soon? Can you?

    Just saying because for me it took some time to finally realize that LTR are expensive. It hurts to not be able to see each other often - and me and my SO does not have to cover half the distance you do. Some people grief forhand, some during, some after. If he has some pain connected to seeing you, you might feel that as distance.

    If everything has been heaveb uptil now (for 3 1/2 months), it can be hard to talk about things "seriously". But it happens to most, eventually. Does not have to mean he is not into you. Try not to be paranoid (take it from someone who just spent 3 days in total paranoia, haha). Just tell him how you feel and ask him to do the same. If you don't understand/like the answeres, ask again (even if you have to use a week to get there).
    Last edited by differentcountries; November 22, 2013, 10:16 AM.
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      Welcome to LFAD!

      I think all you really need to do talk to him about communication. Let him know that you need more of it to be in a relationship with someone so far. That's completely reasonable. There's many reasons why he might be talking less, but you won't know until you talk about it.

      Married: June 9th, 2015

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        #4
        Plane tickets from here to there are expensive yes! $1200 and up r/t. While he was here we talked about me visiting there its just a matter of me saving up and both of us getting the time off from work.

        So yeah we are not sure when we will see each other next, which maybe makes things a little harder!

        Once a date is set I'm hoping the excitedness from him comes back.

        Anyways there are a few talks we need to have to get back onto the same page.

        Glad to be on this site now and know I am definitely not alone in my paranoia sometimes haha!

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          #5
          Welcome to LFAD! If you ever need to simply talk or have any questions, feel free to message me! Good luck with talking with your SO (significant other). Communication is key.
          sigpic

          To read our love story, click here.

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            #6
            Welcome to the forums!

            I agree what folks are saying-communication is key in all, especially LDR's. Since it is still relatively early in your relationship, I would consider having a conversation with your s/o where you share your expectations as far as communication and what you want from the relationship in general. Make sure that you guys are both on the same page.

            In terms of visits, since you are quite the distance from one another, maybe you guys can try to do things in between visits such as video chatting when time allows. Video chatting can consist of Skype dates, watching a movie together or even having video sleepovers-get creative!

            I hope this helps and everything works out for the both of you!

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