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    Seeking support

    Why hello to anyone who is reading this! My name is Calyn. I live in Indianapolis, Indiana. My main and only supporter is my best friend which also happens to be my significant other, Laurence. Him and I met online a year and 3 months ago. I'm not use to any forums or blog things, in fact, this is my first one. So i'll cut straight to the chase.

    I am having difficulties in having support from my family. I have been saving up money for about 3 months to take a trip next spring for a couple of weeks to New Zealand (where Laurence lives) I recently told my parents and other family members about my decision. I thought it was a good time to mention it since people are cheery for the holidays, I also have the opportunity since I am blessed with a job, and well, it is my family after all so I could use some positive support. I unfortuneatly got the opposite of what I expected. I can see it from their point of view since I have not met Laurence in person...yet. Plus, he is a person who I did meet online and the usual thoughts were running fast in my family's mind; "How do you know he isn't a rapist, sex offender, murderer, ect.?" "Are you sure that's even him?" "What if he is lying to you?" "Why can't you find an American boy here and be happy with that?" As these questions were racing in my mind, I have yet to tell them that I feel more comfortable online than I do in person. If I get hit on, it's by the wrong age group and/or type of guys. A lot of guys judge a book by its cover and just think i'm a slob just because the way I look, or the typical "American boy" is rude, has little respect for females except for getting in their pants and have nearly ruined it for the rare gentlemen who are out their.

    Anyways, sorry to get caught up, my point is I feel like i'm being showered with nothing but negative feedback from anyone I talk to about this trip to see Laurence, and it would be greatly appreciated if I could maybe get positive feedback and support in what to do.


    Thanks,

    Calyn

    #2
    Welcome to LFAD, Calyn

    I'm sorry to hear that you don't feel supported by your family. But I do understand why they would be worried, if you've only just told them about your SO. Have you guys talked on Skype ? Leading up to a possible visit, you could introduce him to your family. That way they could get to know him and his family so they know you're not flying around the world to meet a stranger.

    Hope everything works out well for you. Good luck !

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      #3
      Hi Calyn! Welcome to the forums Glad you joined!

      abna1 gave some good advice. I agree--your family might feel that way because you've just told them about your SO. Give them time to let that sink in. Hopefully they'll let you go! Fingers crossed for you.

      -Lori

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        #4
        Hi welcome!
        like abna said, it would be a good idea to introduce him for your family on skype our similiar manner, so they can see him on video.
        Besides that, you will find a lot of support here if you seek any sort of advice.

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          #5
          Wow! Thank you guys for the positive advice and for being kind! Really helps me "cope" with the stress from my family.

          I probably should've mentioned that Laurence and I Skype every chance we get. Whether its for 20 minutes or 12 hours, we manage to find time to see each other over video or at least hear each others voice once a day. If we don't get the chance to Skype at all, we email each other daily.

          I have mentioned to my mom about talking to him, getting to know him, and she seems to be putting it off every time I mention it and not really care. She told me a couple of times thast she doesn't want to worry about all that stuff until the time comes when I could actually have the money saved up to go. I even had him on the phone (via Skype) once and they talked about how their day was. Which I guess is a good start but I honestly wanted them to really get to know each other and see if my mom wouldn't chicken out. But it failed.

          I also have one more thing. Anyone used a fundme organization where anyone could donate money to help support your trip or anything along those lines? How did it turn out? I could definitly use some advice on that.


          Hope you all have a good day

          -Calyn

          Comment


            #6
            Welcome to LFAD, Calyn I am sorry to hear about the troubles your family has with accepting your bf. I can relate to it, since it took almost a year and half before my mum accepted my relationship. It takes lots of patience and faith, so just hang in there If you would feel like talking more privately, feel free to send me a message As for FundMe, I do not have any personal experience, but know it is used a lot and for many different reasons and it is for free, so you could definitely try it.

            Comment


              #7
              ALready got some good advice so I'll just welcome you!

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