Hi I'm Melodie! (Kinda long but I'll love you if you read it!)

[Melodie.Anderson]

Well hello there my names Melodie. But my name is kinda contradictory because I myself can't hear "melodies". I am deaf. No there is no hearing aids or cochlear implants to help save my hearing because i was born this way and i wouldn't change a thing. I successfully live in an apartment in New York City with my two hearing parents. I take online high school classes and plan on graduating next year. My passion though is writing! I successfully write stories on a story sharing website and that's how I met my SO. It's been two months and things are going great. But I still can't muster up the courage an tell him I'm deaf. We've tried video chatting (i.e. Skype and FaceTime) but I always acted like I couldn't hear him because of a faulty connection between his honolulu and my new york city. I've never really brought it up with him about me being deaf but he's never asked any questions. I just don't know how he'll react when I tell him. This has never happened to me. . . Help? Much love and thanks for reading ~Melodie

[Kitten_mittens]

Awe =( I'm sorry you don't have the courage to tell him.. I could imagine that's probably rough. I know though, when you don't want to tell someone something but you know they will find out or need to know sooner or later you really should just tell them asap. Get it done and over with quickly.

I had a similar problem with a guy who liked me, I was worried about telling him that I wasn't feeling the same way. As I didn't want to loose him as a friend. I was miserable for a few days cause it was always in the back of my mind. So finally I just started acting a little off till he asked me if something was wrong and I told him. Very bluntly. And even though we stopped talking for the most part he respected me and was nice. It's usually never as bad as you think it's going to be.

So basically my advice is just tell him. ASAP. Don't wait any longer as it will only make it so much harder. I can't guarantee he will take it well as he is probably going to feel lied to. But it's gonna be the same if you wait.. Just tell him you were scared of telling him as you really like him and was scared he would stop talking to you. I wish you luck and hope he's understanding.

[differentcountries]

Hie, I imagine you can make use of Skype and just write text. Me and So do this a lot because he lives with other guys and does not have a room of his own.

Are you used to communicating with hearing people that does not know sign language , like reading lips?

I agree that telling him as soon as possable is the best. You may think of it as him getting to know you better. And I guess he wants to know the best ways to communicate with you. You can advise him in this.

[stormy]

Hi there Melodie,

It is nice to see someone else from the area on here

I am not a person who is deaf, but as a teacher I have had students who are (I'm still wanting to learn ASL!)... from my relationships with different teenagers who are hard of hearing and more I have seen them react differently to these kinds of situations.
Right now, I am thinking of one young lady who never ceased to amaze everyone. She used her "disability" as a special ability! She could speak ASL very well and read lips pretty darn well too, she was learning how to speak and write and got over her fear of people reacting to that by having goals.... she wanted to go to college and have the career of her choice. She also tried to help other students with their similar struggles and teach teachers (like me) some simple ASL words and phrases.

Set a goal and reach for it... if your goal is to continue what you have begun with this guy... Be honest with him, reach over your fears and show him what you CAN do.

[lilcupcake]

Hey there!

I don't think you should be afraid to tell him. I'm not deaf, but i did have some "disorders" I was nervous to tell my SO about. but when i finally did, he just asked more questions so he could fully understand and help me if i needed it. he never considered walking away from me because of it. If this guy is worth your time, he'll do the same. and if you like him this much, he has to have some potential, right? ;]

[piratemama]

Would you want him to keep something like that from you? You can't build a relationship on dishonesty and keeping something from him is dishonest. Be open. If he's a caring guy, he'll understand. If he's not, you need to find someone better. If you like him, I bet he's decent and will love you for who you are. I know I'd want my SO to tell me the truth. It's only fair.

I also think the IM option of Skype is a good idea. Hey, he might learn sign language and you could use Skype then!

Welcome to the forum.

[aojeda50]

Wow!! I applaud you for making the best of your situation. I greatly admire you and I love that you are so passionate about something.
As for your SO, How long have you two been talking?
And in all honesty, I really think you should tell him. Keeping this a secret will only make things difficult for you and for him. You'll constantly worry about hiding and lying.
I can only imagine how you think he will react to the news, but I say that if he really really cares for you, then he will stick around and make it work.
I know it won't be easy, but you can think of what to say to him.
Maybe you can try skyping again and type out to him what you want to tell him.
I wish nothing but the best for you, and I really hope things work out.
definitely update us all!!

[Riyko]

Hey!

I'd say just be open and honest, say I'm deaf, i was afraid to tell you because of how you'd react but i wanted to tell you because you are very important to me . I'm sure he'll understand and you never know he may surprise you and take up learning some ASL to communicate with you.

Also random, but i'm going to be graduating with a degree in Sign Language Interpreter soon (I'll be the person you see on tv shows who is signing what the person on the show is saying except I probably won't be working in the US)

[Dezface]

Welcome to LFAD!

I know it's scary but you really need to tell him. If he's the guy for you he'll understand. Best of luck.

[Deleted]

Welcome to the forums, Melodie

[Ahava]

Welcome Melodie!
I'd love to hear how it went when you decide to tell him.
Good luck!

[jana89]

Hey there!

I don't think you should be afraid to tell him. I'm not deaf, but i did have some "disorders" I was nervous to tell my SO about. but when i finally did, he just asked more questions so he could fully understand and help me if i needed it. he never considered walking away from me because of it. If this guy is worth your time, he'll do the same. and if you like him this much, he has to have some potential, right? ;]

I second that ... Just want to add, I admire your strenght Best of luck to your relationship

[Niecey]

Welcome to LFAD Melodie. I hope all goes well when you tell your S/O that you're deaf. The sooner the better for the both of you. Best wishes...I think things will be fine.

[Firefly]

Welcome to LFAD.

[Melodie.Anderson]

Thank you everyone for your nice support! I told him yesterday that I was deaf and he fully accepted it and has already started learning sign language!! Thanks so much!!