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New distance, old romance

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    New distance, old romance

    I’m just another girl searching for friendly support with a long distance story.

    My boyfriend and I have been together (on and off) for nine years this May. Even with breaks here and there we have spent the better part of a decade figuring out how to love and support one another. We are different in almost every way possible but, the idea of not being with one another has never been an option. We have a long history, one that is full of beautiful and heartbreaking moments.

    Last spring, after years we decided that we were ready to move in together when our leases expired this March. We made the plans and I cancelled my lease and my fulltime life with my partner was about to begin. Well, that would have been the case if he didn’t apply for an out of state promotion without discussing things with me beforehand. He was offered the job and despite our future plans, he accepted the position.

    Now, I do understand that this opportunity will help him jump start his career and put his financial burdens behind him. While I want to be supported part of me feels like I wasn’t a consideration. I don’t believe unilateral decisions are healthy for relationships and part of me remains discouraged that we didn’t come to this conclusion together.

    We both want to make this work and we know this is temporary until he can establish himself. We are having a difficulty connecting because he doesn’t seem to understand how the move impacts me too. I can’t talk to my friends and family about this as most think that this move was the kiss of death for our relationship and he won't come back home.

    I’m in the beginning stages of a long distance relationship. I am looking for support to help me alter my expectations and make things last even though he’s far away.
    Last edited by DNC; February 10, 2014, 06:18 PM.

    #2
    Welcome to the forums! I can't say that I'd be much help, but I'm always here for empathy and support. We're here for you ^_^

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      #3
      Welcome to the forum! I'm sorry your family and friends don't understand but you'll find that there are others in this forum who are or have experienced the same thing. I hope you'll like it here!
      Our love story:
      Attended the same high school 2004-2007
      Dated CD: June 2009-July 2010
      Reconnected: August 2012
      Began dating LD: November 2012
      Engaged! March 2014
      Closing the distance: December 2015

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by DNC View Post
        I’m just another girl searching for friendly support with a long distance story.

        My boyfriend and I have been together (on and off) for nine years this May. Even with breaks here and there we have spent the better part of a decade figuring out how to love and support one another. We are different in almost every way possible but, the idea of not being with one another has never been an option. We have a long history, one that is full of beautiful and heartbreaking moments.

        Last spring, after years we decided that we were ready to move in together when our leases expired this March. We made the plans and I cancelled my lease and my fulltime life with my partner was about to begin. Well, that would have been the case if he didn’t apply for an out of state promotion without discussing things with me beforehand. He was offered the job and despite our future plans, he accepted the position.

        Now, I do understand that this opportunity will help him jump start his career and put his financial burdens behind him. While I want to be supported part of me feels like I wasn’t a consideration. I don’t believe unilateral decisions are healthy for relationships and part of me remains discouraged that we didn’t come to this conclusion together.

        We both want to make this work and we know this is temporary until he can establish himself. We are having a difficulty connecting because he doesn’t seem to understand how the move impacts me too. I can’t talk to my friends and family about this as most think that this move was the kiss of death for our relationship and he won't come back home.

        I’m in the beginning stages of a long distance relationship. I am looking for support to help me alter my expectations and make things last even though he’s far away.
        Seriously, you are not that far away. Is there anything that would keep you from planning to visit him? Do you have any idea how long it might take before you can move to be with him? Have you figured out your options? I think your first order of business is to have a serious talk with him and see what his plans for your future together are now, with the change of location. Once that issue is settled, you can start making goals for yourself, and for your life together, and, in the meantime, how you will handle your LDR.


        TWO HEARTS BEATING AS ONE, LOVE BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN...

        Nothing Can Keep Us Apart, Safe In Each Other's Heart

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