Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Hello! To tell you the truth, I don't even know where to begin..

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Hello! To tell you the truth, I don't even know where to begin..

    Hi everyone!

    My name's Serena and I'm from Italy. I joined a couple of weeks ago, but I'm just now finding myself in the (maybe) right state of mind to tell you about my story and my long distance relationship.

    I apologize in advance if parts of this won't make any sense, it would just be a blatant representation of the confusion I currently have inside my head.

    So, my man lives in Libya. We have known each other for 13 years.
    We met one amazing summer in Leeds, UK..where we were both taking english classes at the local Univeristy.
    I was 17 at the time. And if you knew me, you'd know that because of a past full of health issues and hospitals, I wasn't the strongest most confident person you'd ever meet. So that was a real adventure for me, my first trip abroad in a country I barely spoke the language of.

    The first day of class, this boy starts staring at me from the other side of the room. Approaches me in the cafeteria at lunch. We instantly become friends in spite of my insuperable shyness. That was the beginning of what to this day I can call the best summer of my life.

    Of course, I knew he was interested in me in "that way". But I was too frightened and too inexperienced to know what to do about it....or to just do something about it! Another "minor detail" I forgot to admit to myself during that summer was that I really, really, REALLY liked him too.

    To make a long story short and only report the main facts...I went back home in September and we started keeping in touch randomly by email after that.
    A year later, I went back to Leeds for a wedding....and while I was walking around in the city centre, I suddenly felt the need to llook inside a McDonald's window...and there he was, right in front of my eyes, as if destiny had decided to play some kind of prank on me.

    We only spent a few moments together that time, but it was enough to relight that fire in both of us. Our emailing afterwards became more frequent, we'd tell each other things nobody else knew, we'd be there for each other at bad times and stuff. He'd tell he loved me but I wouldn't take him seriously, and viceversa.

    It's 12 years later. We've had marriage proposals, long times apart, even a revolution and a war in the middle. But we're still here, together. Now stronger than ever.

    A few months ago, we finally decided to stop running away from each other, and to just give this a go...albeit conscious of this being the worst timing we could have possibly chosen.

    Why, you might wonder...!?

    Well, his life is upside down because of what's been going on in the country. He's a war hero, he was one of the original freedom fighters that started the revolution and freed Libya so...he has a lot of responsibilities and risks his life every day because of the instability in the city.

    I, on the other hand, am at a point in my life where I don't know whether I want to stay in Italy or move away to try to find a better job and a better life. The situation here sucks financially, and not only in that respect.

    The thing is, we are not exactly "younglins" anymore, we are both scarred by stuff we went through, and at the moment there's not even a single thing we can look forward to when it comes to our relationship.
    Still....we are doing this. We are crazy in love, can never have enough of each other, couldn't live without each other. It's darn hard to go on with just texts, calls and videochats.. but I feel like what we have is more real than anything I've ever had in my life. And it's making me happier than I've ever been....even though I think it's kinda killing me at the same time.
    I am aware of the fact that this might come to nothing, that extremely bad things could happen, that it could destroy me. But I can't stop, I don't wanna stop...

    I joined this forums because I thought maybe I could get some insight from someone looking at this from the outside... though I now realize my being this confused and incoherent about it won't make it easy on you! lol

    Please forgive my ramblings...it's good to be here among people who can actually understand how I'm feeling!

    Thanks guys, looking forward to getting to know you all!

    Serena

    #2
    Wow....thats a hell of a story. My advice is take a chance and be together, but I know that isnt always feasible. I will say that life is short (I learned this the hard way...both my AND my SO's youngest sisters passed away at a young age without getting the chance to find THEIR ONE TRUE LOVE...which is how WE met). I wish I had advice for you. Good luck, and welcome!
    sigpic

    I love him. Forever. And every day after that.

    Comment


      #3
      Holy smokes, 12 years? Hats off to you both. I say if you two can make it happen - go for it. And welcome to LFAD!

      Comment


        #4
        Serena,

        Do what makes you happy. The rest will fall into place.

        You can start by making a goal to be together. Set dates and work toward those dates. Perhaps the dates you set are for a holiday and not full out living together. When you start setting and achieving goals like this together, it will bring you closer and the opportunity to build a life together (under the same roof) easier.

        Everyone is scarred from life. If they're scars, then let them be. They are a reminder of what you have conquered in your life. If they're wounds, then you must tear off the scab and deal with the infection otherwise, it will fester and contaminate other parts of your soul.

        Good luck!

        Comment


          #5
          Hello and welcome. I live near Leeds in the UK now!

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by TaraMarie View Post
            Wow....thats a hell of a story. My advice is take a chance and be together, but I know that isnt always feasible. I will say that life is short (I learned this the hard way...both my AND my SO's youngest sisters passed away at a young age without getting the chance to find THEIR ONE TRUE LOVE...which is how WE met). I wish I had advice for you. Good luck, and welcome!
            Thank you so much! I know exactly what you mean about life being short and trying not to let any chances go by us! I'm the kind of person who sometimes tends to live in the past, but I'm finally starting to understand that all I've got is right now and I truly need to make each day count. Nice to meet you!!

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Blaine View Post
              Holy smokes, 12 years? Hats off to you both. I say if you two can make it happen - go for it. And welcome to LFAD!
              I know, crazy uh!? I really can't understand it myself how we could let all those years go by without even trying to give "us" a shot! Hope the wait has been worth it!
              Thank you for the welcome!!

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by 80anthea View Post
                Hello and welcome. I live near Leeds in the UK now!
                Hello! Nice meeting you! I still have so many friends in Leeds...one of them just had a baby so I'm thinking a visit is definitely due! I had some of the best times of my life in the UK.. Have you always lived there??

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by GeriK View Post
                  Serena,

                  Do what makes you happy. The rest will fall into place.

                  You can start by making a goal to be together. Set dates and work toward those dates. Perhaps the dates you set are for a holiday and not full out living together. When you start setting and achieving goals like this together, it will bring you closer and the opportunity to build a life together (under the same roof) easier.

                  Everyone is scarred from life. If they're scars, then let them be. They are a reminder of what you have conquered in your life. If they're wounds, then you must tear off the scab and deal with the infection otherwise, it will fester and contaminate other parts of your soul.

                  Good luck!
                  Hi Geri, thank you so much for taking the time to reply! Every single word you wrote makes so much sense to me...I totally agree on doing what makes you happy, despite the obstacles life throws at you.
                  We are working on finding a date the works for both of us....thinking on meeting in Istanbul maybe so he doesnt have visa problems etc. Money is whats stopping us right now, cause we are both kinda broke. lol Just one more thing to work through I guess!

                  As for scars and wounds...well, it's the wounds I'm worried about. Especially for him. What for me is pretty much in the past, to him is his every day life. I just wanna find the best way to support him and be there for him without oppressing him or asking him for things and promises he can't give me right now...

                  Comment

                  Working...
                  X