When I Saw Him and the Mediterranean
That "How to write your 1st post!" thing is at the top of this page right now, and I've been lurking for a few days so...what the hell.
Let's make it official :P
This is going to be long...bear with me. lol.
I have been in a long distance relationship since last August...I guess that's almost 9 months now...go us! with my best friend of 4 years.
He is in Italy, I am in the United States.
We met when he was coming to school here in my hometown through a community/devotional group that we both went to and have kept in touch since then.
He expressed interest in getting to know me, and so we went out for a few drinks and hung out together. He seemed like he might be interested in possibly dating, and I said "ahhhh...I can't do that." At the time when he was here, I was in a secret relationship that I thought was true love, soul mates, we must be together, we must hold hands clasped tight round one another's in the manner of The Notebook and be together forever until we're old and decrepit in hospital beds. That relationship didn't end well. It was a bit abusive and toxic. It's a whole other story.
Long story short, I continued in this bad relationship. I told my current boyfriend/best friend about the circumstances I was in with this other guy and after listening for awhile he said "ahh...he's manipulating you. he's going to hurt you." and I said "YOU'RE a JERKFACE! Our love is TRUE!" he disagreed, and we became very close friends.
He was very busy with his schoolwork, with everything, but he was always there for me. At 23 I was crazy as hell. I don't know why he even liked me back then. He has always been a calming influence. Whenever I was upset or being crazy, he always knew what to say, what to do. Since I was still in this secret/bad relationship, I saw him as a friend. A very close friend who I loved and could tell anything to, who I connected with on a deep emotional level...but just a friend. I knew I felt more for him at the time, but was very much in denial about it. I guess you could say he became "the nice guy"...and for good reason. He really is a nice guy. He's a great guy. He's never made me feel pressured to do anything for him...he's never made ultimatums. He's always said "I always want to be your friend, no matter what."
Shortly before he returned to Italy, we went on a trip together for about a week. He wanted to see some of his friends in another state, and he wanted me to come along. It was an awesome trip
I met his friends, they hosted us...it was very good for me. It took me out of the craziness that was going on in my personal life back in my hometown. When we got back to my hometown after the trip, and I was dropping him off, he kissed me for the first time. And that progressed to making out for the first time within about 3 seconds. I freaked out and stopped it because I was still tripping off this douchebag basically and was afraid of hurting the douchebag. I told the douchebag about the kiss with my friend/current boyfriend because I wanted to be honest. He gave me an ultimatum...I can never see or speak with this guy again and continue to be in a secret relationship with him, or I could see and speak with this guy and I would never see my beloved douchebag again. I made the wrong decision and continued to ignore warning signs in this bad relationship...I decided I wouldn't speak with him again.
I wonder to this day what would have happened if I'd made the right decision back then and dropped the relationship that all of my friends begged me to get away from. But overall, I learned some important lessons. I grew a backbone when I eventually left. I learned I can and will stand on my own two feet. I learned I'm not going to put up with abuse. I learned that I don't have to put up with bullshit.
Me and my best friend/current boyfriend began to talk more again. He never said “I TOLD YOU SO!”...he was there for me as he always has been when I was going through this breakup...it was very hard. Romantic feelings began to develop when we talked again, and we decided to meet after 5months of talking regularly – in Italy. That was last August. I met his family and some of his friends. It was beautiful. It was the most amazing vacation I've ever been on in my life. I paid for my plane ticket, and he took care of the rest. Food, lodging, entertainment. He took me to Switzerland because it's only a 30 minute drive from Italy to there. That was pretty damn cool :P He's the first man who has ever taken me on a date in another country.
About 3 days before I left Italy, he asked me to be his girlfriend. We've been dating since.
I won't say it's been easy...because it's hard to not see him. It's hard when he gets sick and I want to make him chicken noodle soup and shove cold medicine at him. It's hard when I want to hug him when he's sad. It's hard because there's so much in the way of us being together in the same country...distance...jobs, visas, for me if I go to Italy it's language. I know some Italian cusswords. That won't get me very far. Lol.
But...I'm up for it. I want it. I love him.
This is the best relationship I've been in.
No matter what the outcome my goal is...he and I will always be friends.
Let's make it official :P
This is going to be long...bear with me. lol.
I have been in a long distance relationship since last August...I guess that's almost 9 months now...go us! with my best friend of 4 years.
He is in Italy, I am in the United States.
We met when he was coming to school here in my hometown through a community/devotional group that we both went to and have kept in touch since then.
He expressed interest in getting to know me, and so we went out for a few drinks and hung out together. He seemed like he might be interested in possibly dating, and I said "ahhhh...I can't do that." At the time when he was here, I was in a secret relationship that I thought was true love, soul mates, we must be together, we must hold hands clasped tight round one another's in the manner of The Notebook and be together forever until we're old and decrepit in hospital beds. That relationship didn't end well. It was a bit abusive and toxic. It's a whole other story.
Long story short, I continued in this bad relationship. I told my current boyfriend/best friend about the circumstances I was in with this other guy and after listening for awhile he said "ahh...he's manipulating you. he's going to hurt you." and I said "YOU'RE a JERKFACE! Our love is TRUE!" he disagreed, and we became very close friends.
He was very busy with his schoolwork, with everything, but he was always there for me. At 23 I was crazy as hell. I don't know why he even liked me back then. He has always been a calming influence. Whenever I was upset or being crazy, he always knew what to say, what to do. Since I was still in this secret/bad relationship, I saw him as a friend. A very close friend who I loved and could tell anything to, who I connected with on a deep emotional level...but just a friend. I knew I felt more for him at the time, but was very much in denial about it. I guess you could say he became "the nice guy"...and for good reason. He really is a nice guy. He's a great guy. He's never made me feel pressured to do anything for him...he's never made ultimatums. He's always said "I always want to be your friend, no matter what."
Shortly before he returned to Italy, we went on a trip together for about a week. He wanted to see some of his friends in another state, and he wanted me to come along. It was an awesome trip
I met his friends, they hosted us...it was very good for me. It took me out of the craziness that was going on in my personal life back in my hometown. When we got back to my hometown after the trip, and I was dropping him off, he kissed me for the first time. And that progressed to making out for the first time within about 3 seconds. I freaked out and stopped it because I was still tripping off this douchebag basically and was afraid of hurting the douchebag. I told the douchebag about the kiss with my friend/current boyfriend because I wanted to be honest. He gave me an ultimatum...I can never see or speak with this guy again and continue to be in a secret relationship with him, or I could see and speak with this guy and I would never see my beloved douchebag again. I made the wrong decision and continued to ignore warning signs in this bad relationship...I decided I wouldn't speak with him again.I wonder to this day what would have happened if I'd made the right decision back then and dropped the relationship that all of my friends begged me to get away from. But overall, I learned some important lessons. I grew a backbone when I eventually left. I learned I can and will stand on my own two feet. I learned I'm not going to put up with abuse. I learned that I don't have to put up with bullshit.
Me and my best friend/current boyfriend began to talk more again. He never said “I TOLD YOU SO!”...he was there for me as he always has been when I was going through this breakup...it was very hard. Romantic feelings began to develop when we talked again, and we decided to meet after 5months of talking regularly – in Italy. That was last August. I met his family and some of his friends. It was beautiful. It was the most amazing vacation I've ever been on in my life. I paid for my plane ticket, and he took care of the rest. Food, lodging, entertainment. He took me to Switzerland because it's only a 30 minute drive from Italy to there. That was pretty damn cool :P He's the first man who has ever taken me on a date in another country.
About 3 days before I left Italy, he asked me to be his girlfriend. We've been dating since.
I won't say it's been easy...because it's hard to not see him. It's hard when he gets sick and I want to make him chicken noodle soup and shove cold medicine at him. It's hard when I want to hug him when he's sad. It's hard because there's so much in the way of us being together in the same country...distance...jobs, visas, for me if I go to Italy it's language. I know some Italian cusswords. That won't get me very far. Lol.
But...I'm up for it. I want it. I love him.
This is the best relationship I've been in.
No matter what the outcome my goal is...he and I will always be friends.
to the forum! Thanks for sharing your story! I'm glad you were able to leave that bad relationship behind and start a good one with your long time best friend! Those relationships are always the best 
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