Dear Forum...

[Chillosaurus]

Hello Forum,
I'll see if I'll ever need any advice here. Probably going to post something in the Adult section... Anyway, enjoying my special girl's attention and any contact we have together. I'll see her again in about five month - maybe earlier. Everything is young and fresh.... The long-term future, no one knows what'll happen.
Like to hear from others how it is going for them, but I am shocked by the survey results from the LD-survey:
If you do not have met your significant other in person, do not bother talking to me on the forum, you couldn't be helpful. For the nearly 20% who wouldn't do a LDR again: what is your point in having one then at the moment?
Our program is:
contact about everyday, a lot via IM, spontaneous or planned Skype-Chats. Recently also just opened skype while doing other things. We have a common playlist. She makes little photo-collections of us from time to time.
Dreamin of our next trip together and looking back at the nice times we had...
Ciao.

[lyonsgirl]

Hello Forum,
I'll see if I'll ever need any advice here. Probably going to post something in the Adult section... Anyway, enjoying my special girl's attention and any contact we have together. I'll see her again in about five month - maybe earlier. Everything is young and fresh.... The long-term future, no one knows what'll happen.
Like to hear from others how it is going for them, but I am shocked by the survey results from the LD-survey:
If you do not have met your significant other in person, do not bother talking to me on the forum, you couldn't be helpful. For the nearly 20% who wouldn't do a LDR again: what is your point in having one then at the moment?
Our program is:
contact about everyday, a lot via IM, spontaneous or planned Skype-Chats. Recently also just opened skype while doing other things. We have a common playlist. She makes little photo-collections of us from time to time.
Dreamin of our next trip together and looking back at the nice times we had...
Ciao.

I do not understand (I'm going to paraphrase here): "if you haven't met your SO IRL, you're no help to me." Did you read that somewhere or is that how you feel?


To answer your question: I have been in serious LDRs twice. I won't ever choose to be LD again because it sucks. I am fortunately married to my SO now and we are no longer LD, and that is the main reason I won't ever be in a LDR again. The "point" of being in one when we were LD was because I had a job that took me elsewhere. He did not move with me for reasons.

Anyway, welcome to LFAD.

[dglynn77]

If you do not have met your significant other in person, do not bother talking to me on the forum, you couldn't be helpful. For the nearly 20% who wouldn't do a LDR again: what is your point in having one then at the moment?

I met my SO before we went LD, and I wouldn't do it again because HE MARRIED ME! YAY! So now no more LD cuz we are together.
Honestly, if you actually mean the statement in the quote, I'm afraid you won't make many friends here, as this site is for all LD couples, not just the ones you seem worthy. It's hard enough to be in an LDR, much less when the people who Should be supporting you are cutting you down.
Basically, welcome to the forum, and I really hope you're not as judgmental and rude as your intro makes you appear. I'll wait for clarification on the quote to give you the benefit of the doubt until then, but be warned: if your intro is true, don't bother talking to me around the forum, you couldn't be helpful.

[Chillosaurus]

I do not understand (I'm going to paraphrase here): "if you haven't met your SO IRL, you're no help to me." Did you read that somewhere or is that how you feel?[...]

If you are in a relation with a person whom you have never seen in real life, I believe it is a totally different situation and can not be compared with my situation. To understand a situation you have to have been in it. I like to clarify, that this is solely meant for constructive discussion, there is no disrespect for anyone. Sorry, that it sounds a little wrong. As you can see, I am willing to share my experiences and I hope to maybe find some cool ideas due to the experiences of others.

[nottheprincesspeach]

I'm afraid you won't make many friends here, as this site is for all LD couples, not just the ones you seem worthy. It's hard enough to be in an LDR, much less when the people who Should be supporting you are cutting you down.
Basically, welcome to the forum, and I really hope you're not as judgmental and rude as your intro makes you appear. I'll wait for clarification on the quote to give you the benefit of the doubt until then, but be warned: if your intro is true, don't bother talking to me around the forum, you couldn't be helpful.

Personally about this I took mine from CD to LD after a move, and have found help even from people who have never met even though the situation is different. It may be difficult to understand, but you should be understanding of every LDR. And you should never tell someone not to bother giving you advice because what if they have the advice you need?

[Chillosaurus]

[...]
I met my SO before we went LD, and I wouldn't do it again because HE MARRIED ME! YAY! So now no more LD cuz we are together.[...]

I see, it's possible to understand the question this way as well.
Otherwise it is just food for thoughts. The whole point of a relationship is for me to be happy and have fun...
Of course my intro is true.
Sorry for talking to you.

However, I am neither judgemental nor rude. I'm just very direct.

[Zephii]

Welcome to LFAD.

Is it right for me to assume that English is not your first language? I wouldn't want to treat you like you were being a pompous ass, if indeed your grasp of English was just making you come off badly.

I'm glad you're happy in your relationship, and look forward to seeing you around the site.

[Chillosaurus]

Yes, you guessed right.
Just treat me like you don't know me, because you don't know me.

[snow]

Welcome to the forums.

[80anthea]

Welcome, Mr 'how to make friends and influence people'. I like people with strong opinions so we may get on.

[differentcountries]

Hi,

I am not sure which survey you are reffering to... Is it something in here? Something you saw online? A referance woul be good. Anyway, we are a varied bunch in here, some have met in person, others not, some are relatively short distance, others are a world apart, some have kids others not, some work while others are still in the early stages of their education etc. You never know which person will have the good advice you need.

This is my first LDR. I have aways been one to not see the point of LDR at all. Why not find someone closer? How is it an actual relationship when you rarely touch? etc. Those were my predjustice against this kind of relationhip. Still I am in a LDR now, because I happend to meet this wonderful guy who lives 2590 miles away, because someone I know convinced me to take a trip to Turkey. We fell in love somewhere between meeting and Skyping 2 hours each night. It seems we will stay long distance for some time, as he is still in school and other stuff, I hope to not do a LDR again, because I hope to continue this one with him (and I really don't want any more guys! haha) and that some point in the future we will be living together some way or another and hence not be in a LDR anymore. But actually, the way I see it now, even if I have to live like this the rest of my life, I will rather do it than loosing touch of him. I don't think about "the future" anyway, I think about our next visits (next week, April), meeting people that are important to us, taking work and studies seriously, living our lives the best we can for now and hopefully that will prepare for the future as well.

[CanadianGirl]

Welcome to the forums.

If the question is why I wouldn't do an LDR again (because I definitely would NOT do this to myself again..), I'm in this one because I fell for a guy I met online and I couldn't picture being without him after I met him in person. We put up with the distance because we just have to for now and we know we'll be together when the time is right.

[Chillosaurus]

Hi,
I am not sure which survey you are reffering to... Is it something in here? Something you saw online? A referance woul be good.

"We prevent spam at LFAD! New members must have a minimum number of posts in order to share links. Your current post count is only 4. If you try to post the link anyway or try to get members to visit a website your post will be deleted and your account may be banned without warning."

Someone is afraid that it is spam when you point to their own website..

Anyway, we are a varied bunch in here, some have met in person, others not, some are relatively short distance, others are a world apart, some have kids others not, some work while others are still in the early stages of their education etc. You never know which person will have the good advice you need.

It's great to hear there is something for everyone. Anyone's experiences are very helpful, if they come from a similar basis.

You can also see a big variety in the answers here. I am surprised so many did answer and happy to see that anyone is eager to discuss.

[Moon]

I have a feeling you're not going to be very popular on here Welcome, I guess, this should be interesting.

[Hollandia]

I don't pull punches either and that is putting it lightly, but being a bit more open minded will go far in here. Some of those people, I am not one of them, my SO is sitting next to on the couch right now, have not met their SO's yet because of money, jobs, children, sick parents or illness. I don't think it is fair of you to say something like that to them, it is pretty hurtful. Is it different sure, but so are non international and international LDRs. So are people are 1 year apart or 20 years apart and so are those of us with a time difference or not, but they are all still valid LDRs. Are blind people off limits too or deaf since they will have never really seen or heard their SO? People do get catfished sure, but people also get played in CDs too.

You don't have the right to tell them they cannot respond to your posts, any member can respond to any post unless told not to do so by the admin here. If you don't like something someone posts, don't read it or respond. Many of us do the same thing, and that statement is a way to actually cause that to happen to someone by some of the members here that might be a great source of information, advice or an emotional support.

I do welcome you here to LFAD and I hope you change your mind to wish to join our whole community and not just a part of it.