the Newb

[Minxy]

Hello everyone I am the newbie here today I believe. I am astounded I haven't found this sight sooner! My husband and I have been in a long distance relationship for about 4 years. We met online playing a mmorpg in 2010. We became fast friends( I was married at the time) My marriage then was falling apart I was going to school full time and taking care of 4 kids including an infant. I was also ill and didn't know that my life was about to be turned upside down. Shortly after meeting my now husband I was diagnosed with an incurable disease called hydrocephalus (meaning water on the brain). Because of this diagnosis and I am sure many other factors can be said to be involved my then husband decided to turn tail and run Leaving me with 4 kids no job and an incurable disease to deal with alone. But I soon discovered I wasn't alone! My now hubby was a true God send. He helped me thru some very dark times and was there for my kids as well. He is a British citizen and I am an American citizen. He was denied a visa waiver to travel here and so has not met my family in person yet. Such a long story I'll try to skip ahead a bit. I traveled to see him many times meeting all his friends and family. We were married in 2012 in England in a beautiful ceremony with my youngest in tow. We immediately hired an immigration lawyer in the states to begin the immigration process. That was over 2 years ago! Since the beginning we have encountered constant obstacles. Missing paperwork, military records had been lost. Our lawyer for all her 27 years experience seemed to make matters worse by not telling us everything we needed up front she pnly told us step by step after we scratched up all the papers they needed we were given a new list EACH time! It was very frustrating and when it came down to his interview they were missing ONE PIECE OF PAPER! So his visa is pending until he gets that paper which came with a slew of it's own troubles to get. In the mean time I have had 3 brain surgeries in 11 months and he was told by our solicitor that he would be unable to travel during the visa processing. Come to find out the visa interviewer said he could have flown back and forth this entire time! I have been flying instead. We live on the computer which is hard to do with 4 small kids. We keep him in the loop with birthdays holidays etc. We have had 4 christmases over skype now and birthdays with the kids and pretty much not celebrated anniversaries. I just have to say that this is the most stressful thing in the world! I love my hubs more than anything and I just want him to be here and I'm not understanding why the government has been suh a butthole (pardon my language) about the whole thing. He feels he is missing out on the kids growing up when we started this my youngest was 6 months old he will be 5 this september he is currently the only one of my 4 children who have met my hubs in person the others skype with him daily and actually have a a really god personal relationship of their own with him. I've just come down to the conclusion that I cannot live without him I don't care where it is how it's done I just want to celebrate the next holiday with him here with me. Why does that seem like I'm asking the world to turn purple?

[Noodle]

Welcome to the community! And wow I already have do much respect for you after all you've been through. You're hubby definitely came into your life just in time! Well hopefully immigration will finally grant your wish soon and you can be together finally and forever ^^

[Minxy]

thanks we are hopefully looking at September. He has been given a yes pending the proper paper work be submitted.

[snow]

Wow. You are a strong woman! I hope everything works out visa wise. I am in the process of getting a visa myself and the waiting is annoying, though we are still in the "normal" timeframe..

Welcome to the forums!

[Minxy]

yes waiting sucks! good luck to you I hope it moves quicker for you than us and thanks for the welcome!

[Minxy]

thank you for the respect but really when left with no other options what are you to do but pull up your boot straps and get on with your day you never know how strong you are until you have to be right!

[80anthea]

Welcome to the forum

We're uk/usa but the other way round, I'm in the uk and he's going to eventually come here, it's a beurocratic nightmare but like I always tell myself 'it's only temporary'!

[Lilly9886]

Welcome to LFAD!

[BlueCat]

Hello there and welcome to the forum. I must say that you are an inspiration, how you handle so much at once, is simply amazing. I hope you enjoy your stay, and thanks for sharing your story

[Minxy]

Welcome to the forum

We're uk/usa but the other way round, I'm in the uk and he's going to eventually come here, it's a beurocratic nightmare but like I always tell myself 'it's only temporary'!

yes i try and tell my self this as well but it doesnt always help lol

[Minxy]

Hello there and welcome to the forum. I must say that you are an inspiration, how you handle so much at once, is simply amazing. I hope you enjoy your stay, and thanks for sharing your story

thanks and thanks to lilly9886 as well