Hi everyone.
I decided to sign up here to seek some advice in my current relationship.
Long distance is a very complicated thing, it has its own ups and downs. Lately, I haven't really figured out how to deal with my stress.
My boyfriend and I started dating for more than a year now and our situation is completely different to most of the posts that I've read here.
Here's the thing, since day one, Skype has been our source of communication. Mind you, his phone's camera doesn't work and he doesn't have any sort of device that has a built-in camera. I've tried to convince him to visit a computer shop, but he disagrees. The reason being? Computer shops in the Philippines has a very loud environment, can be dangerous at some point, and it's very public. The person that he is cannot handle those kind of places. Anyway, he's the only one that can see me. I, obviously, can't. Every time we Skype, I can directly see myself (which looks funny more than it sounds). Therefore, I have no live view to what he really looks like.
Though, I have visited the Philippines TWICE. I repeat, TWICE... WITHIN ONE YEAR.
AUGUST 2014 I stayed in my mom's hometown for a whole month because it's fairly close to where he lives (approx. 1 hr drive). He never wanted to give his address because he didn't want me to send him stuff during our "monthsaries". So anyway, I went to his hometown several times hoping that he decides to meet me (during this time, he works in a hotel at night and goes to school in the morning/afternoon). We kept our communication, but he never had time until it was time for me to head back home. The night before my flight, he texted me and asked where I was, but it was too late, I was too upset to talk to him. I left without seeing him. Days after my arrival, I decided to break up with him. But half of me really doesn't want to do that, and so after his apology, we were back on track.
DECEMBER 2014 My family went back to our country, I was really excited because I was really looking forward to meet him. At this time, he's a call-center agent and finally a graduating student. I stayed in the same place for three months (I really maxed out my stay lol, thank God for college vacay time). To make this story short, I did the same routine as I did last August, and still got the same result. I NEVER GOT TO SEE HIM. I really put in a lot of effort to travel and cross the Pacific Ocean twice but the idea just didn't hit him. My relatives started to question our relationship. Some said that I should look for another guy than waste my time to someone who can't exert any kind of humiliation and consideration to me. The time was up and I had to fly back home again, he apologized again and guess what, I accepted it. Like what most relationship expert says, forgive and forget.
But the truth is, I only half-heartedly forgave and I will never forget what happened. It's quite impossible, unless he finally shows up. Every time I (accidentally or purposefully) bring up what happened, he'd get upset or try to break up with me because he thinks that I'm the type that cannot move on from the past. I mean, really? If this ever happened to you, can you easily forgive and forget?
I decided to sign up here to seek some advice in my current relationship.
Long distance is a very complicated thing, it has its own ups and downs. Lately, I haven't really figured out how to deal with my stress.
My boyfriend and I started dating for more than a year now and our situation is completely different to most of the posts that I've read here.
Here's the thing, since day one, Skype has been our source of communication. Mind you, his phone's camera doesn't work and he doesn't have any sort of device that has a built-in camera. I've tried to convince him to visit a computer shop, but he disagrees. The reason being? Computer shops in the Philippines has a very loud environment, can be dangerous at some point, and it's very public. The person that he is cannot handle those kind of places. Anyway, he's the only one that can see me. I, obviously, can't. Every time we Skype, I can directly see myself (which looks funny more than it sounds). Therefore, I have no live view to what he really looks like.
Though, I have visited the Philippines TWICE. I repeat, TWICE... WITHIN ONE YEAR.
AUGUST 2014 I stayed in my mom's hometown for a whole month because it's fairly close to where he lives (approx. 1 hr drive). He never wanted to give his address because he didn't want me to send him stuff during our "monthsaries". So anyway, I went to his hometown several times hoping that he decides to meet me (during this time, he works in a hotel at night and goes to school in the morning/afternoon). We kept our communication, but he never had time until it was time for me to head back home. The night before my flight, he texted me and asked where I was, but it was too late, I was too upset to talk to him. I left without seeing him. Days after my arrival, I decided to break up with him. But half of me really doesn't want to do that, and so after his apology, we were back on track.
DECEMBER 2014 My family went back to our country, I was really excited because I was really looking forward to meet him. At this time, he's a call-center agent and finally a graduating student. I stayed in the same place for three months (I really maxed out my stay lol, thank God for college vacay time). To make this story short, I did the same routine as I did last August, and still got the same result. I NEVER GOT TO SEE HIM. I really put in a lot of effort to travel and cross the Pacific Ocean twice but the idea just didn't hit him. My relatives started to question our relationship. Some said that I should look for another guy than waste my time to someone who can't exert any kind of humiliation and consideration to me. The time was up and I had to fly back home again, he apologized again and guess what, I accepted it. Like what most relationship expert says, forgive and forget.
But the truth is, I only half-heartedly forgave and I will never forget what happened. It's quite impossible, unless he finally shows up. Every time I (accidentally or purposefully) bring up what happened, he'd get upset or try to break up with me because he thinks that I'm the type that cannot move on from the past. I mean, really? If this ever happened to you, can you easily forgive and forget?
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