Hiiii. I'm new to this group, it's nice to see so many other people that can relate in ways to my situation. I'm 28 (just turned 28 a few days ago, that was weird to type) year old single mother who was born and raised in Chicago. For a little over a year, I've been dating my boyfriend, who is 24 and has lived in New York all but 4 years of his life. We met through work. We both have the same position in our company, so we met August 2014 at a training seminar. Instantly had an attraction to each other, but never thought it would go anywhere past that week. Here we are 1.5 years later, still visiting each other every 4-6 weeks, trying to figure out what we are doing.
It's not perfect, we bicker about things that I would never care about if he was closer in distance (social media, text messages, etc), we miss each other to the point sometimes we just dont want to keep doing it, we have to cut other expenses out of our life in order to afford our monthly trips, but so far I've never been more happy with anyone in my life.
We don't know what our end game is. Since I have a child, him moving to Chicago is a better fit. It's also a lower cost of living here than NYC (not by much but hey) and my family is supportive, while his is not. He had flirted a few times with moving here, got cold feet, and right now we are just in a waiting game. He has some financial goals to take care of before he feels comfortable making any life altering decisions whether that is moving here or moving somewhere else around NYC, we don't know.
We love each other, but is love going to be enough for him (or maybe me, it's not completely out of the question) to make such a risky move? To leave behind the life you've always known for a person that may or may not be the love of your life? So many scary things to think about, but I have to keep the faith that it will work out how it is meant to be. While closing the distance doesn't seem to be coming till fall, plans to discuss in the summer, I'm hopeful that if we can make it through these hard times, we can make it through anything. We have already broken down so many walls to maintain this for over a year, I'd be surprised if it was all for nothing.
Looking forward to reading/posting about other people's experiences. I know a lot of this thread is online relationships or overseas, so I'm hoping to chat to a few LDRs that are just in the states as it relates a little more to closing the distance and the travels aren't completely impossible.
It's not perfect, we bicker about things that I would never care about if he was closer in distance (social media, text messages, etc), we miss each other to the point sometimes we just dont want to keep doing it, we have to cut other expenses out of our life in order to afford our monthly trips, but so far I've never been more happy with anyone in my life.
We don't know what our end game is. Since I have a child, him moving to Chicago is a better fit. It's also a lower cost of living here than NYC (not by much but hey) and my family is supportive, while his is not. He had flirted a few times with moving here, got cold feet, and right now we are just in a waiting game. He has some financial goals to take care of before he feels comfortable making any life altering decisions whether that is moving here or moving somewhere else around NYC, we don't know.
We love each other, but is love going to be enough for him (or maybe me, it's not completely out of the question) to make such a risky move? To leave behind the life you've always known for a person that may or may not be the love of your life? So many scary things to think about, but I have to keep the faith that it will work out how it is meant to be. While closing the distance doesn't seem to be coming till fall, plans to discuss in the summer, I'm hopeful that if we can make it through these hard times, we can make it through anything. We have already broken down so many walls to maintain this for over a year, I'd be surprised if it was all for nothing.
Looking forward to reading/posting about other people's experiences. I know a lot of this thread is online relationships or overseas, so I'm hoping to chat to a few LDRs that are just in the states as it relates a little more to closing the distance and the travels aren't completely impossible.
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