LDR after 3 months
Hi there I'm Jonny (22, nearly 23), and my significantly better half is Jay (just turned 23).
We met via bumble, started talking 6 months ago (in March 2016), met for the first time at the end of April, and after about 7 weeks of dating we made it official! things moved fast, but we just clicked so well, and I practically moved in with her for the last 3 weeks she lived in her uni flat. We've holidayed together for a few days, and have seen each other at least once a week for a couple of days (or just over) since May. So two days ago she left with her sister (who's also got a bf, although he's going out there for a few days in October) to travel America on the trip of a lifetime until the start of December. Problem is at the start of October I get sent to New Zealand for the next phase of my pilot training, so we won't see each other until she comes to visit me in January.
I'm the emotional one, I think she's 'the one' and I trust her completely, I'm just a worrier, and I want to make sure that this works. I found it very tough going saying goodbye to her, and I can't sleep properly. The fact she is willing to take it LD and visit me is obviously very promising, it just seems tough.
Obviously I've done reading of what to do day to day, but with her away and only able to message when she has Wi-fi it makes it difficult to schedule stuff. Time zones constantly changing for us both won't help either, as I'm 5 hours ahead now but soon I'll be 8 hours ahead then 4 behind, then 11 behind. It's only 3 months 26 days until I next see her, I know many people go much longer, it's just both of our first LDR (I'm her first proper BF, I did 5 years service before but only on medium distance).
She's very calm saying she knows we'll make it, and she does get sad but she knows we'll be okay.
I'm a natural worrier, and I love her to bits, and while I know it will work deep down, I'm just scared.
My main worries are:
We've only been together 3 months and they've been intensive
She'll go off me
She'll get bored of waiting for me
She'll leave me out of the blue
We'll drift apart
It won't be the same when we meet up
She'll find someone better
I have a tendency to worry and assume the worst
I'm a bit like a puppy in that I need things revalidating a lot and that this will annoy her
I know that none of this is logical and I must reiterate that she has given me no reason to feel like this - and we have talked about it - but I don't want to keep going on about it, and I know I need to work through my insecurities..... Hence I'm here.
SO that brings me to why I'm here. I'm looking for advice, support and help for how to get through, and strengthen our relationship. I know it is doable - I just need reassurance and ideas and tips. Also I want to work through my issues so anyone who has advice on how to do that..... I'm all ears!
I KNOW we can make this work. I'm sure she's the right woman for me, and I couldn't love her more if I tried!!!
Thanks for reading our story so far.
We met via bumble, started talking 6 months ago (in March 2016), met for the first time at the end of April, and after about 7 weeks of dating we made it official! things moved fast, but we just clicked so well, and I practically moved in with her for the last 3 weeks she lived in her uni flat. We've holidayed together for a few days, and have seen each other at least once a week for a couple of days (or just over) since May. So two days ago she left with her sister (who's also got a bf, although he's going out there for a few days in October) to travel America on the trip of a lifetime until the start of December. Problem is at the start of October I get sent to New Zealand for the next phase of my pilot training, so we won't see each other until she comes to visit me in January.
I'm the emotional one, I think she's 'the one' and I trust her completely, I'm just a worrier, and I want to make sure that this works. I found it very tough going saying goodbye to her, and I can't sleep properly. The fact she is willing to take it LD and visit me is obviously very promising, it just seems tough.
Obviously I've done reading of what to do day to day, but with her away and only able to message when she has Wi-fi it makes it difficult to schedule stuff. Time zones constantly changing for us both won't help either, as I'm 5 hours ahead now but soon I'll be 8 hours ahead then 4 behind, then 11 behind. It's only 3 months 26 days until I next see her, I know many people go much longer, it's just both of our first LDR (I'm her first proper BF, I did 5 years service before but only on medium distance).
She's very calm saying she knows we'll make it, and she does get sad but she knows we'll be okay.
I'm a natural worrier, and I love her to bits, and while I know it will work deep down, I'm just scared.
My main worries are:
We've only been together 3 months and they've been intensive
She'll go off me
She'll get bored of waiting for me
She'll leave me out of the blue
We'll drift apart
It won't be the same when we meet up
She'll find someone better
I have a tendency to worry and assume the worst
I'm a bit like a puppy in that I need things revalidating a lot and that this will annoy her
I know that none of this is logical and I must reiterate that she has given me no reason to feel like this - and we have talked about it - but I don't want to keep going on about it, and I know I need to work through my insecurities..... Hence I'm here.
SO that brings me to why I'm here. I'm looking for advice, support and help for how to get through, and strengthen our relationship. I know it is doable - I just need reassurance and ideas and tips. Also I want to work through my issues so anyone who has advice on how to do that..... I'm all ears!
I KNOW we can make this work. I'm sure she's the right woman for me, and I couldn't love her more if I tried!!!
Thanks for reading our story so far.
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