LDR USA and New Zealand

[ali17]

Hello All

I studied abroad last year in new Zealand for 6 months. I met my boyfriend the third week I was there. We were inseparable for the rest of the time. Magical is an understatement of how our time together was. We went skydiving, bungee jumping, hiking and many other activities that brought us so close together. We were both a wreck when I had to leave to come back the states. We said goodbye thinking that we would never see each other again. We are both logical thinkers so we thought that there is no way a LDR could work between us. However, within a month apart we realized that it was what we wanted!

We spent 6 very long and very hard months apart, but over christmas he has come to visit me here in the states. We continued our adventures and went to NYC over new years, we experienced the windy city (Chicago), and I showed him true cowboy culture in nashville, TN. We now have a a 35 day backpacking trip to Europe planned for when i graduate college in may. I am so excited, and i will see him in less than two months!

However, I cant help but feel very nervous because "the talk" is coming soon. Like i said before, both my boyfriend and I are logical thinkers. Its going to be very hard for us to discuss who is going to have to give up their lives and move across the world. I know he will have to be the one to move because he is self employed and is able to leave his job anytime and start up again anywhere he wants. I am going to work for a corporation upon graduation, so I do not have that luxury.

I joined this group to get advice on how to discuss the hard stuff with my love. Can't wait to talk to you all and learn about your stories!

[sasad]

Hi and welcome!
Be open to ideas, be honest and communicate.
That you said he has to move...did you discuss this? Have you looked into the visa process? It's not like you fall in love and he can just come here and stay... there are other obstacles as well. You already have a job? Corps can have offices in other places. Keep an open mind and decide together..

[ali17]

Yes, we have discussed it. A little. He says he knows it makes more sense for him to move here. However, I know that really the only way for him to come here is for us to get married (which we are not ready for). He doesn't have any special skills that will allow him to get a working visa. We have been doing so well recently, and im going to travel Europe with him soon. He's just focused on that, while i'm beginning to get paranoid that at the end of our trip he will go back to new Zealand, I will start my career, and then everything will spiral downwards.

I know im young and I have lots of time to figure things out. I'm just starting to get anxious about the future.

[Sparkling72]

Hi and welcome. Try not to worry about things you can't control. Things have a way of working themselves out the way they should.