Hi there :)

[MattieC86]

Morning all, I'm Matt and I'm a newbie to the forum. I'm 31 years old living in Somerset UK with my parents. I've decided to join up because due to a visa issue, my wife Monica is living in Ecuador. We've been together since December 2010 and tied the knot in December 2015. I would dearly love to live in Ecuador, and I did give it a try for a while. However I had a kidney transplant in 2005 and the health care in Ecuador simply isn't sufficient for my needs. We did consider other countries, but it does seem like for the time being, the UK is the best option. Just to complicate things a little, I need to be earning £18,600 a year (before tax) for Monica to be eligible for the UK Spousal visa and I recently became unemployed. I have had a few job interviews recently and I'm meant to be hearing about one today. Fingers are crossed.

As for why I've signed up? Well there's a couple of reasons. I do get very, very lonely at times so it's nice to know that there's a place I can come to 24/7 to talk about this. Monica and I do use Skype, WhatsApp & Facebook but there's nothing like actually being together. I'm also hoping to meet people who have been through the UK visa system themselves, so they might be able to offer advice. I'm also struggling to deal with still living at home. I'm 31, a graduate and married - this just feels "abnormal" somehow and I do get the impression that I get under my parents feet at times. I'm considering moving out when I'm working again, but my concern there is that it'll be little old me on my own, and the loneliness will just get 1,000 times worse. I couple of years ago I'd have asked one of my mates about getting a flat share, but they're all married and mostly with kids so it's difficult.

So that's me. Thanks for reading and I look forward to getting to know you all And one last thing, if anyone is thinking about a summer holiday, I can highly recommend Ecuador.

[kittyo9]

Hi Matt, welcome. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles-- that does indeed complicate things, and I wish you all the best moving forward, especially on your interviews. There are a lot of people from the UK here and a few who have gone through the visa system.

As for the rest of it, everyone's situation is unique and it's okay if your life doesn't line up with what might be seen as the "socially ideal" life. You've had some tough times and I'm sure your reasons for being at home are reasonable. You might not be the "norm", but I imagine you're saving quite a bit by not having to shell out for rent. This is good for your relationship in a round-about way, as it means you'll be in a better financial place once you do go back to work. Maybe wait until you're closer to getting your wife's visa approved (if that's the route you're going) before you move out so that you have a nice financial cushion to absorb any unforeseen costs and give yourselves a head start.

Personally, I absolutely love living on my own despite paying out the ass for it. I lived with family for about two years after graduating university and started to feel really stifled after about a year. I moved closer to work to reduce my stressful commute, but got the added benefit of feeling totally liberated by being on my own. Bear in mind that I'm more of a homebody and have a lot of online friends (that's also how I met my SO), so I'm not usually worried about having people over or not having a "traditional" social life. Some people prefer having people around all the time, though-- your personal preference will matter a lot here.

[MattieC86]

Hi Kitty, thanks for your reply and I'm sorry it's taken me a while to get back to you. I've been doing job search for most of the day, so I'll be stepping away from my laptop soon. FYI I didn't get the job I was waiting on, which is a pain in the butt but not the end of the world.

I'm grateful for everything you say, it's nice to know that there's support out there and people in the "been there, done it" club. I've been feeling down for a couple of says and I'm feeling better now