Hey everyone! Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Lauren, and currently in a ldr with my boyfriend of seven months. It hasn't been long distance the entire time, but he moved back home after flight school two months ago and here we are. Big question is...does the fear and worry of it not working out bc of the distance ever go away? He feels like he needs to have everything totally perfect before I move to where he's at, and I believe that in itself is causing a lot of stress and heartache on our relationship. He has doubts because of it and I just need some feedback. Help!
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Hey Lauren,
Welcome to the forum!
Different people handle distance different ways. Him planning every last detail might be his way of coping with the distance. Have you talked to him about the fact that it's putting a strain on you? All the best
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Hi Lauren, I was in a long distance relationship where things ended up working out so I can totally understand where your fear and worry is coming from. To be honest, those feelings never go away and are even more amplified when you are in a long distance. Everyone deals with it in a different way but I think it's a good thing because it helps to keep you on your toes and not become complacent in the relationship. Just like life is unpredictable, so is a relationship with someone you care about because people change and situation changes. It's just a matter of prioritising what's important to you and working on it together. I don't know the story with your boyfriend but it sounds like he is wanting to get himself in a good position to feel like he's able to look after you when you do eventually move to him so that the transition is alot smoother. From experience, being with a boyfriend who is unprepared and just wings it when moving in together does put a strain on the relationship because instead of focusing on nurturing your relationship when you are together, you tend to end up stressing and prioritising other things like money, job security, studies etc. but these things are a natural part of life and if your relationship is strong and supportive, you can get through these other stressors, but if its not, then eventually everything breaks.
Best thing to do is talk to him and get to the bottom of why hes stressing out and if he needs more time, find out how much time he needs to sort himself out, that way you both will have a timeframe to work towards and it will help to put the feelings at ease.
Hope that helps!Comment
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