help me

[nramirez]

im new here but im really struggling. ive been livin abroad for 2-3 years now and our relationship started actually this summer. i lived in colombia which is were we first meet as friends, we actually became best friends till he confesed he liked me but i friend-zoned him, not a big deal at all cuz basically nothing changed. after this i moved to romania, we lowkey started flirting, and we facetimed and texted every single day without running out of topics it was actually great, he sent me flowers and all, it was so cute, i lowkey liked him but i was doubting it cuz it was just not for sure, it was probs because i missed him not not because i liked him. after a while i moved to kenya but right before moving (this summer) i went back to colombia and in my welcoming party we kissed, after that i was confused and i didnt like him. after like the third make out sesh i actually started cashing feelings but i was not gonna work cuz i was moving and we both knew dat. the thing we were basically dating for that only month i stayed in colombia. the thing is i moved and we never actually said what we were till like 2 months ago when i asked and he said we were. since then i lowkey feel weird, we have nothing to talk about but at the same time i love him so much and he does too, and he is so cute and all but then our convos are just awkward and i dont feel like talking to him that much, i mean dont get me wrong im actually in love with him but its also the fact that when i hung up i feel so lonely and i just feel so weird about the whole situation, i just dont feel its working for me and i think im letting the relationship die which is the only thing I DONT WANT TO DO cuz i truly love him and ugh idk, any advice?