Salutations!

[Raq62004]

Hello everyone!
My name is Raquel.
I am new to this forum. I am thankful to have found it. I guess I will just jump in to what is going on. I apologize for the long read!!!!

I have been talking to a guy for two years now. He does not have a home because he moves to a different city at least 2x a month. He often times moves more often than that. He used to have a home but he wasted money having someone else cut the grass and look after it. So he sold it and put valuables in storage.
He used to be in the Navy too. He was married while in the Navy.
I am not am expert at LD relationships. In fact, I know that I am not geared towards being in one. I am a person who needs to be held and needs to be shown how my partner feels. I don't know how to place my feelings. I do not respond well to being ignored either.
You see, my guy will not respond to texts and does not answer my calls at times.
I was brought up not to ignore. If I am busy then I will send the quick text response "Cannot talk will call later", or something like that.
If he texts and I am busy I will respond within two hours. If I am in a movie I will text him letting him know I am in a movie. But he does not do any of that. I am left in the cold. He simply does not bother to answer.
Sometimes he answers that night or the next day but he does not respond to the context of my texts.
I think because he has been a nomad for over ten years with his job and because he was in the Navy before that, he is used to talking when he wants to. He is used to his women being okay with that. He is used to loving and not having to talk every day.
Which let me explain what j mean by that. I have a busy life too. I by no means am asking him to devour hours every day talking to me. I cannot do that. My ideal relationship is to have two or three days where we have time set aside to talk. The other days I just want small interaction. Like a good morning and good night text every day. In between sending pics or memes sporadically. Maybe one or two throughout the day. Or mentioning something in your life ...just short excerpts to keep each other involved in our lives. And the other responding.
I don't expect a whole lot. Just connection.
But he cannot do that. He will sometimes but not others. It hurts me. I have told him what I need. He does try but then it fades.
Another problem is he has ADD, so he is forgetful.
He can be an introvert.
I like him. I like who he is, what he stands for, his words, his knowledge. I love his mind.
But this LD relationship is hurting me. I think if we were in the same town we would be ok.
He just moved to a different job about 5 hours away from me. He will not be moving from city to city so we will be able to plan seeing each other at least every other weekend. That is why he moved his job. He wants a real relationship. So I need to take that into consideration....he made a huge leap for me. Sigh
I honestly didn't recognize that until right now. I guess I was just thinking he did it for himself to have a relationship...and not necessarily for he and I.
I just need to hear from others. I need to hear how others deal with being away.
I have tried to leave him a million times. My heart brings me right back. I feel like he is worth trying for.
I think I am scared. I have three other guys trying to date me right now. They live in my city. But I don't like them. They are not him. But I am scared I am passing up possibilities for a guy who will never be what I need.
Okay I know... big mess.
What do you guys think????

[MsGrim]

Okay first of all.. Welcome! Hopefully you can find what you are looking for here as far as answers go.

So in my opinion, 2 years committed to a LDR is an accomplishment in itself. I am only 6 months in and it can be extremely difficult at times. It sounds like you know what you want from a relationship, but in reality its just different in a LDR. Communication is key, which is something he may need to work on, and it sounds like hes trying- so there's that.

You need to ask yourself what you really want and what your goal in this relationship is. Is it to eventually close the distance permanently? Are you okay with the distance for now if the communication were to improve? Also, are you willing to make the sacrifices that come along with a LDR (not pursuing other people no matter the condition of your relationship, loneliness at times, lack of physical affection) in order to keep him in your life? These are things that only you can figure out.

Yes, LDRs are tough to be in BUT I have to say that for me, it has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever experienced. Getting to know someone in this aspect is different but amazing at the same time. It really just depends on what you are wanting for yourself. I know you said you have talked to him about this, but try talking again and let him know about your concerns.. he may have the same ones and hasn't expressed them yet. Best of luck to you!