Good morning/afternoon/evening, to wherever you are. I am new to this forum, as I wanted to seek like minded people in the same situation as me. Hence me searching for a good long distance relationship forum like this to reach out! I want to make new friends who are in the same situation to seek advice from, and maybe even I can add some value and support. Hopefully!
In my profile, I gave a brief description, but let me describe how I got here.
I have had pretty bad luck in dating, and even one marriage that ended in disaster. There were many factors that lead to the demise of that marriage, but no need to delve into the details. The essence of the matter is, for a while I kept beating about the bush not taking my love life seriously enough and take responsibility for my actions. I know what I really wanted, but I kept looking in the wrong places. I wanted a serious relationship, and find someone who was marriage inclined. I had a specific mission and purpose, and know what I want in a lady. So I signed up to a dating site in October 2019, and started looking internationally for love. I targeted Asia. I feel like these cultures tend to embody the values and traits that are compatible to me and what I need in a partner and tend to be more marriage minded. This is just personal preference. Anyway, armed with a list of attributes I wanted, and various probing questions, I started to get to know a few girls on there and explored. I was also very wary of the potential of visa hunters which, granted, is a risk in this endeavor. The good news on that front is, I am actually an immigrant from UK to the US myself, having lived here nearly eight years, and not yet a citizen. This makes me wanting to sponsor/petition for any relatives far more difficult (though not impossible) than a US citizen. Hold that thought.
So I started really getting drawn to one lady from the Philippines. She is a little younger than I am. She is 26. Like me, she is educated, got a good, stable job, is very level headed and mature. Also, we both have a child from our previous relationships which we can relate on! Not only that, she is absolutely beautiful, which is a nice bonus. Also her English is very good, and she makes me laugh. I have really fallen for her. We decided to delete our dating accounts and make it official.
So armed with feelings, it shines light on the challenges ahead which I intend to brave with all my muster. I said hold the thought on me not yet being a citizen. The reason I think she may be genuinely interested in me for me, is that I told her about my current immigration status being in adjustment, and it being difficult to petition for relatives, as well as travel outside the US right now. She was completely understanding, and said she will wait for me as she thinks I am truly special for her. This makes me think that she is in it for the right reasons. If she just wanted a visa, I doubt she would want to deal with such inconvenience. I plan on going to visit her next January, as this will be the soonest I can get my next vacation bidded, and be able to leave the country.
The first challenge is being able to remain strong. Any perspectives on managing the longing would be appreciated. We agreed that we are going to get her over here within three years to start a life together, and we have set goals. I am trying to keep a proposal as “coy” as possible, so it can be done romantically at the right time, but we both know where this is going really.
The major elephant in the room, however, is my family back in the UK. To say I am scared to tell them, is an understatement. Considering what they have seen me go through in the past, they will be extremely cynical and judgmental of my new found love, and will do all they can to put the brakes on it. I have no idea how to handle this, and this is the biggest weight on my shoulders right now. So anyone who has been through this, I would greatly appreciate advice and how I could possibly tackle this when I choose to tell them.
Anyhow, thank you very much for welcoming me here. Talk to you all soon!
In my profile, I gave a brief description, but let me describe how I got here.
I have had pretty bad luck in dating, and even one marriage that ended in disaster. There were many factors that lead to the demise of that marriage, but no need to delve into the details. The essence of the matter is, for a while I kept beating about the bush not taking my love life seriously enough and take responsibility for my actions. I know what I really wanted, but I kept looking in the wrong places. I wanted a serious relationship, and find someone who was marriage inclined. I had a specific mission and purpose, and know what I want in a lady. So I signed up to a dating site in October 2019, and started looking internationally for love. I targeted Asia. I feel like these cultures tend to embody the values and traits that are compatible to me and what I need in a partner and tend to be more marriage minded. This is just personal preference. Anyway, armed with a list of attributes I wanted, and various probing questions, I started to get to know a few girls on there and explored. I was also very wary of the potential of visa hunters which, granted, is a risk in this endeavor. The good news on that front is, I am actually an immigrant from UK to the US myself, having lived here nearly eight years, and not yet a citizen. This makes me wanting to sponsor/petition for any relatives far more difficult (though not impossible) than a US citizen. Hold that thought.
So I started really getting drawn to one lady from the Philippines. She is a little younger than I am. She is 26. Like me, she is educated, got a good, stable job, is very level headed and mature. Also, we both have a child from our previous relationships which we can relate on! Not only that, she is absolutely beautiful, which is a nice bonus. Also her English is very good, and she makes me laugh. I have really fallen for her. We decided to delete our dating accounts and make it official.
So armed with feelings, it shines light on the challenges ahead which I intend to brave with all my muster. I said hold the thought on me not yet being a citizen. The reason I think she may be genuinely interested in me for me, is that I told her about my current immigration status being in adjustment, and it being difficult to petition for relatives, as well as travel outside the US right now. She was completely understanding, and said she will wait for me as she thinks I am truly special for her. This makes me think that she is in it for the right reasons. If she just wanted a visa, I doubt she would want to deal with such inconvenience. I plan on going to visit her next January, as this will be the soonest I can get my next vacation bidded, and be able to leave the country.
The first challenge is being able to remain strong. Any perspectives on managing the longing would be appreciated. We agreed that we are going to get her over here within three years to start a life together, and we have set goals. I am trying to keep a proposal as “coy” as possible, so it can be done romantically at the right time, but we both know where this is going really.
The major elephant in the room, however, is my family back in the UK. To say I am scared to tell them, is an understatement. Considering what they have seen me go through in the past, they will be extremely cynical and judgmental of my new found love, and will do all they can to put the brakes on it. I have no idea how to handle this, and this is the biggest weight on my shoulders right now. So anyone who has been through this, I would greatly appreciate advice and how I could possibly tackle this when I choose to tell them.
Anyhow, thank you very much for welcoming me here. Talk to you all soon!
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