I am not sure if I'll do any justice whatsover to this intro. So "Hi!" Today my intuition told me to do another search for LD releationships. Today I have been feeling particularly anxious and insecure. This site popped up in the results. I'm like, "wow, there are forums for this sort of stuff???" So a little about me. I'm 49 years old, male, and have been in LD releationship for the last year. I live in Ohio, she lives in Denver Colorado. It's about 1100 miles from NW Ohio to Denver, CO. We actually met in Jr High school. Boarding school, specifically in St. Louis, Mo. She was scared to approach me. I was in 8th grade, she was in 7th. But she was too shy to approach me. I didn't know any of this untily a year ago when she responded to a photo I put on Instagram of me and my Cornish Rex cat. We have been talking ever since. Also come to find out she liked me in high school too. And in college. She wanted to talk to me, but thougt i was out of her league, so she kept herself in the shadows and admiring me from afar. Memorial Day weekend 2020 last year is when we started talking. She has been out here 4 times since then, I have been out there 3 times. I am slated to go there on the 17th of this month after indoor national inline speed skating championships in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. There have been been some looooooong gaps however which has made things super tough. Add to that some complications, which I don't feel comfortable sharing here, at least at this point. One of the complications is kids, and thankfully they both like me and she says that's a huge statement. Her kids don't like anybody, at least the ones she has either married or dated.
The longest gap has been about 5 months. Lots of stuff interfered - covid, youngest daughters instability, and oldest daughters issues. Also an issues where she has to stay in situation to get more value out of her home. We didn't see each other until April of this year. Grueling. November to April I am however slated to there in about 11 days after my speed skating compettion. I followed my gut one day and told her I'd drive to see her even if only for a 5 hours - an 11 hour drive. So we will see each other for 4 days. After that I don't know when we'll see each other again.
Long distance causes all sorts of anxiety. Texting in itself causes anxiety, especially when there's a break in the rhythm. My mind goes crazy and I think the worst - it's over! Just like the last couple days it has been quieter on her end. Which makes me catastrophize - "it's over!!!" THen today I text her have the courage to finally tell her "I miss you!!" to which she replied "aww, I miss you too!" So yeah, it has been tough lately, actually for a while. But so many things I'd rather either tell her in person or wait till I see her. I dont' want to text and the timing be wrong and I don't realize it causing a huge pause - which my mind imagines things. I'm sure those reading this have experienced. My orignal post timed out, so some stuff is missing, but I don't want to retype. But damn it was do beautiful!
Anyways, gonna wrap this up. It's late here. Any responses will be treasured! I have really been having a hard time, and no one to talk about it with.
The longest gap has been about 5 months. Lots of stuff interfered - covid, youngest daughters instability, and oldest daughters issues. Also an issues where she has to stay in situation to get more value out of her home. We didn't see each other until April of this year. Grueling. November to April I am however slated to there in about 11 days after my speed skating compettion. I followed my gut one day and told her I'd drive to see her even if only for a 5 hours - an 11 hour drive. So we will see each other for 4 days. After that I don't know when we'll see each other again.
Long distance causes all sorts of anxiety. Texting in itself causes anxiety, especially when there's a break in the rhythm. My mind goes crazy and I think the worst - it's over! Just like the last couple days it has been quieter on her end. Which makes me catastrophize - "it's over!!!" THen today I text her have the courage to finally tell her "I miss you!!" to which she replied "aww, I miss you too!" So yeah, it has been tough lately, actually for a while. But so many things I'd rather either tell her in person or wait till I see her. I dont' want to text and the timing be wrong and I don't realize it causing a huge pause - which my mind imagines things. I'm sure those reading this have experienced. My orignal post timed out, so some stuff is missing, but I don't want to retype. But damn it was do beautiful!
Anyways, gonna wrap this up. It's late here. Any responses will be treasured! I have really been having a hard time, and no one to talk about it with.
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