Hi there! new from Singapore
Hi everyone!
I'm new on this site cause i really need someone who is in the same boat as me to give me more advice!
I am a 19 years old Singapore girl who met her the other half all the way 2947 miles away in Beijing when I was there for my internship. By the way, this guy is my first boyfriend in 19 years of my life, cause i'm usually too scared about break ups or whether i see a future or not with that guy. But with him, I didn't avoid, didn't hesitate, just pure happiness.
My internship was for 2 months and just 3 day of being in beijing, I went to the pretty nice salon behind my apartment for a haircut. And I got to know my hairdresser. Somehow we managed get each other's number and started messaging each other and slowly we met very often after his work for supper. With my friends and his friends at first.
He's working schedule is 9.30am to 10pm so we hardly get to spend much time together.
In fact this 2 months we didn't even have a proper date together.
He's a nice and serious guy. So when we knew this was soon gonna a long distance relationship, he said we're being unrealistic and ask me to think twice about this.
He used to tell me things like "how am I going to live without you" when he walk me home and all. And text me things like "love you" or "miss you" before we go to bed. But ever since there was some problem with my accommodation. Both of us got a place and moved in together for the last 18 days I was there. He never said anything sweet to me at all and we just hug each other for while and all. he would usually be the first to push me away.
One night i talked to him about how i feel he's slowly being colder to me than usual. He just said he's not those guys that are good with mushy words or he's not the romantic kind. Cause if he always says all these, they would lose it's meaning. I don't know if all these is an excuse or what. But it's true he's really bad at expressing how he feels.
Like I really hate he's smoking and drinking habits (beers) and he's alcohol tolerance is really bad so he gets drunk easily. So since now I'm back in Singapore and we've been long distance for 2 weeks. Just 2 weeks! and he got drunk after we just webcamed and we were so happy cause we hardly have the chance to since he's ex-girlfriend took away his laptop and i understand his financial situation now. Besides his pay is extremely low to be able to buy a laptop to talk to me now.
So I was really upset as i told him i do not like him getting drunk when i'm not around.
then he told me he was feeling quite down yesterday, sorry to make me worry.
The next day i called him to ask what happened, why is he so upset. And he just said "job problems" and he doesnt wanna tell me.
I hate that! Since I always tells him everything with no secrets! and most of the things he doesn't want to tell me. I always end up guessing, sometimes i get them right but sometimes i just go crazy guessing.
Him not being open and sharing everything with me makes me feel horrible. Cause I'm his girlfriend, i expect him to want to share any joy or sorrows with me.
Now I'm the one calling him every night, cause I've gotten the international calling card and he haven't got any time to go down to the city to get it since that card isn't easily accessible in Beijing. Once I got really tired as I usually call when he ends work since i know all his schedule. But i thought he would actually QQ (instant message) me to call him cause he's free now, but NO!
Sometimes I will go to his workplace around 9.50pm everyday to wait for him to end work and go for supper together since I end at 5pm and finish all my housework and office work. While waiting sometimes I see some bunch of girls coming in and requesting for him to cut their hair. They would all surround him and laugh and giggle all and at the end of the day ask for his number. This makes me really insecure cause they were all so pretty! and he meets so many girls a day. Besides I think he's really good looking. I have talked to him about this before but he just says don't worry, and why do i have so little confidence with myself cause he's not those who would fall for everyone he sees or every pretty girl.
But since my dad is a womanizer i was worried guys could just easily say things like this to ease my mind but not mean it?
-PHOEBE
I really need some advice and opinion of what you think about all these.
I'm new on this site cause i really need someone who is in the same boat as me to give me more advice!
I am a 19 years old Singapore girl who met her the other half all the way 2947 miles away in Beijing when I was there for my internship. By the way, this guy is my first boyfriend in 19 years of my life, cause i'm usually too scared about break ups or whether i see a future or not with that guy. But with him, I didn't avoid, didn't hesitate, just pure happiness.
My internship was for 2 months and just 3 day of being in beijing, I went to the pretty nice salon behind my apartment for a haircut. And I got to know my hairdresser. Somehow we managed get each other's number and started messaging each other and slowly we met very often after his work for supper. With my friends and his friends at first.
He's working schedule is 9.30am to 10pm so we hardly get to spend much time together.
In fact this 2 months we didn't even have a proper date together.
He's a nice and serious guy. So when we knew this was soon gonna a long distance relationship, he said we're being unrealistic and ask me to think twice about this.
He used to tell me things like "how am I going to live without you" when he walk me home and all. And text me things like "love you" or "miss you" before we go to bed. But ever since there was some problem with my accommodation. Both of us got a place and moved in together for the last 18 days I was there. He never said anything sweet to me at all and we just hug each other for while and all. he would usually be the first to push me away.
One night i talked to him about how i feel he's slowly being colder to me than usual. He just said he's not those guys that are good with mushy words or he's not the romantic kind. Cause if he always says all these, they would lose it's meaning. I don't know if all these is an excuse or what. But it's true he's really bad at expressing how he feels.
Like I really hate he's smoking and drinking habits (beers) and he's alcohol tolerance is really bad so he gets drunk easily. So since now I'm back in Singapore and we've been long distance for 2 weeks. Just 2 weeks! and he got drunk after we just webcamed and we were so happy cause we hardly have the chance to since he's ex-girlfriend took away his laptop and i understand his financial situation now. Besides his pay is extremely low to be able to buy a laptop to talk to me now.
So I was really upset as i told him i do not like him getting drunk when i'm not around.
then he told me he was feeling quite down yesterday, sorry to make me worry.
The next day i called him to ask what happened, why is he so upset. And he just said "job problems" and he doesnt wanna tell me.
I hate that! Since I always tells him everything with no secrets! and most of the things he doesn't want to tell me. I always end up guessing, sometimes i get them right but sometimes i just go crazy guessing.
Him not being open and sharing everything with me makes me feel horrible. Cause I'm his girlfriend, i expect him to want to share any joy or sorrows with me.
Now I'm the one calling him every night, cause I've gotten the international calling card and he haven't got any time to go down to the city to get it since that card isn't easily accessible in Beijing. Once I got really tired as I usually call when he ends work since i know all his schedule. But i thought he would actually QQ (instant message) me to call him cause he's free now, but NO!
Sometimes I will go to his workplace around 9.50pm everyday to wait for him to end work and go for supper together since I end at 5pm and finish all my housework and office work. While waiting sometimes I see some bunch of girls coming in and requesting for him to cut their hair. They would all surround him and laugh and giggle all and at the end of the day ask for his number. This makes me really insecure cause they were all so pretty! and he meets so many girls a day. Besides I think he's really good looking. I have talked to him about this before but he just says don't worry, and why do i have so little confidence with myself cause he's not those who would fall for everyone he sees or every pretty girl.
But since my dad is a womanizer i was worried guys could just easily say things like this to ease my mind but not mean it?
-PHOEBE
I really need some advice and opinion of what you think about all these.
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