Hi, I'm new here!

[storiebookie]

Hi, my name is Sam and I am in a long distance relationship. Been looking for a place like this where people could kind of help me because I feel like I really don't have anyone to talk to about it.

My boyfriend knows I am having a hard time dealing with the long distance relationship, but he knows that it's all going to be OK in the end and that we're going to be together... the problem is, although I know this too, it is so painful every time I go visit him and have to leave to come back up here... and the next two days after that I am so upset because I feel like it's going to be FOREVER until we can finally be together.

We don't know when we're going to be together. We both have jobs we love (they don't pay much but we went to college in order to get them) and it's really hard for us to find jobs next to each other because our specific jobs are so scarce and limited.

I kind of just need someone to talk to, preferably another girl who is going through the same thing... I don't really have that many friends who understand what I am going through and I just need someone who I can talk to about this kind of thing and make me feel better.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about... the pain you feel right after you've visited him and you know it's going to be forever until you guys finally get to live in the same town...

[MissShortie]

Hey Sam, welcome to LFAD.
I'm can understand your situation even though I'm not going through it, I don't know when I'll be able to close the distance with my SO and I think everyone can relate to you when they have to leave their SO.

Anytime you want to talk I'm here for you!

[Jrapp]

Welcome to the forums! Just like MissShortie, I'll always be here if you need to talk!

[storiebookie]

Thanks guys. Do you have any suggestions of things I can do to maybe not feel so terrible when I have to leave my boyfriend?

[storiebookie]

Also — we have no idea WHEN we're actually going to be together... we just know that we're not going to break up... so it's not even like I have anything to works towards, you know?

[Jrapp]

Uhm, I haven't met my SO yet so I'm not familiar with that pain. As of April 26th, just a little over a month away, I'll know exactly how it feels. But you can feel free to message me or anyone else on the forum. Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you vent(:

[storiebookie]

Well, my boyfriend and I have been dating for three years so we're in a serious relationship. We know we are going to be together and eventually get married (so he says but still no ring), I guess I'm just afraid maybe that day will never happen... he just seems so confident saying yes we will eventually be together, yes it's going to be OK but there is not anything definite or written in stone. We know in order to be with each other, one of us is going to have quit our job... but it's stupid because we just spent a whole ton of money on college and one of us won't be able to do what we majored in...because it's so hard finding another job next to each other. it's just really hard to deal with. I am just ready to start my life with him and it just is so painful because I know I can't. It's annoying seeing friends who have only been dating for like 9 months already be engaged and planning a wedding when I know I can't do this... I've been dating him for three years, I should be able to be with him, but I can't. I'm at a crossroads. Part of me wants to quit my job but the other part of me thinks it's stupid if I do.

[MissShortie]

Thanks guys. Do you have any suggestions of things I can do to maybe not feel so terrible when I have to leave my boyfriend?

For me I do let myself have a day of just moping... then I keep busy after that... I really don't think I have the key to not feeling so bad =\

[storiebookie]

Thanks... I appreciate your suggestion.

[LadyEcstsasy]

I know what it feels like to have no idea when you'll see the person next. For my SO and I it could be anywhere from just one more month before I go see him to 6 or 7 months and whether it'll be for a few days or longer.

You keep saying that it's hard finding a job near where the other person lives. Have either of you considered looking for new jobs in a completely new place for the both of you? It'd be quite a leap of faith having to leave both your homes, but if it meant that you could have good jobs (that pertain to your college major) then it might be a possibility to consider.

As far as keeping your chin up, my suggestion is to keep yourself busy. Set goals and work towards them. You may not feel like you can work toward your relationship at this moment, so distract yourself with setting and reaching other goals (no matter how silly. Sometime as simple as saying "I've always wanted to learn how to knit" and then learning how to do it can help you feel like you're accomplishing things and keep you from feeling too bogged down).

[storiebookie]

Thanks, LadyEcstasy. that must be really hard not seeing your boyfriend for that long...I can't even imagine.

We have tried looking different places to find jobs in the same area but with the jobs we have, they are both so limited and scarce, that it's hard. He's in radio broadcasting — specifically sports. That's going to be hard anywhere to find a job, he was lucky to find a job where he is now, but he knew someone and they helped him get that job. He's already applied places that are not up by me (there are no jobs available he wants up by me because they aren't in sports broadcasting specifically) and he hasn't gotten anything. I'm in journalism, i'm a little more open with my job but the fact is, so many people are getting laid off right now and especially me just getting out of college... they aren't going to hire me. I applied 15 places right before graduation and only heard back from 2 for interviews... and the only reason why I got the job I do now is because I knew someone else who worked there who put in a good word for me.

I really appreciate your suggestions about finding goals other than the relationship... maybe if i just stop thinking about him I won't be so sad. I just need to get my mind off of it.

[PaperbackWriter]

Welcome

[storiebookie]

I just wanted to say, thank you to everyone for being so nice and welcoming me into the community.