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    Hi everyone!

    I have just had a pretty nasty shock.

    I live in England and I met my boyfriend in April this year, and knew all along that his family would be moving to Canada. This was expected to be in spring 2012. Only, on Wednesday, his mother found a loophole which means that they can go when they like. So I have to say goodbye to him on the 21st of this month.

    Over the course of our relationship we've grown extremely attached and we are both very much in love with each other. The plan was that if things were still this good when it was time for him to go, he'd be staying. But of course, that was when we expected to have another several months together first. So he is going with his family until the migration stuff is all approved (in spring), and if things are still good between us he'll come back. So he'll still be making the decision when he said he would, it's just that things will be a lot more difficult because we can't be together until that point. It's my 21st in December and we would've done something really special, but now it's going to be a really sad day

    The difficult thing is, as he has the chance to live there forever, I'm terrified he won't come back. His mother is very controlling over him and I worry sick what a few months with her and away from me will do to us. It makes it even more frustrating that if he was just a few months older (making him 22), he wouldn't have even been allowed to go as a dependent in the first place. My boyfriend is concerned about the lack of jobs in the UK, which he says is one of the reasons he would love to live in Canada. I'm worried about him making that country his home before he's given us a fair chance.

    I know, if we're meant to be together then we eventually will be. It just breaks my heart to think of the amount of people who have commented on what a perfect couple we make (we really are), and that I'm sure we'd have got married one day if it wasn't for this. It's so unfair

    Another problem is that I've never had many friends and I'm going to find it extremely lonely without him

    Anyway, that's my introduction. I'm sorry it's so negative!

    This forum seems like a great support network and I look forward to chatting to everyone

    #2
    Hi, welcome to the forum.

    I'm in the U.K and my SO in Canada and we're working out just fine so dont worry about the distance. Try not to worry about things that haven't happened yet, easier said than done i know, but you have to stay positive. You can still visit him while he is in Canada and if he does decide he wants to stay there, is it a possibility for you to join him?
    If you need help with anything, dont hesitate to message me
    As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

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      #3
      Hi leonsfangirl, thank you for your message. It's really nice to hear that things are working out for you
      How long have you been apart? And how often do you get to see one another?

      I'm sure I'll feel a bit more positive in a few days, I'm still in shock I think.

      If he's there for longer than six months I plan to visit him, but I have bad panic attacks even before I get on planes which is just another problem! And if he wants to stay there for good then I'm not sure I'd be willing to join him. I love England very much, and I think it would be unfair of him to ask me to leave my country and my family for a whole new life I wouldn't want (well, apart from being with him of course!), when he could just return to his home country. Both are very big asks I know, but I do feel that it would be a much bigger step for me to go there than for him to just come home. So if he wouldn't be willing to do that for me, I don't think I should do something even bigger for him. However, we've talked about it, and I have said that if it comes to that then I will try Canada out and see how I feel then. Hopefully it won't even come to that.

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        #4
        I've been away from him for 12 days but my SO and I started our relationship online (Facebook) and that was our first meeting. We have been in a relationship for a year the end of this month( a complicated one for 2 years prior to that so 3 in total), so my situation is a little different. I'm probably not going to be seeing him now for atleast 6 months .
        I can understand your reluctance to leave England, i love it here too and i was terrified of flying as i hadn't left the U.K till i went to visit my SO. But the plan is he's leaving Canada to be here with me, Purely because i have children from a previous relationship and taking them away from there father is not an option.
        Keep your options open, he may hate Canada and want to come back or on a visit you may love Canada and not want to come home (i only came back because my children are here)
        Where in Canada is he moving to?
        As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

        Comment


          #5
          Wow, I can't imagine what it must be like to meet someone for the first time when you've already been in a relationship with them for a year or more! How exciting

          You're right, who knows what will happen! I'll do my best to keep an open mind
          I think it will get easier once he's over there to be honest, it's the impending doom that is so horrible at the moment!

          He's going to Calgary in Alberta. Whereabouts is your partner?

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            #6
            My SO is also in Alberta but he's in Edmonton.
            It's not something i ever saw happening but thats life, loves to throw weird stuff at you!
            I dreaded leaving him at the end of the week, it was more that i didnt know when id see him again but it's getting better. This forum has been a huge help for me, it was actually an advert on here that gave me the chance to visit my SO alot sooner than i had planned and i got a heads up on a mobile plan so it makes it super cheap to stay in touch with him.
            As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

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              #7
              Yes, I think it's the "not knowing when" bit that makes it extra hard. Not being able to say "well I'm nearly halfway there now" etc.

              This site has indeed given me a lot of hope and comfort already
              I've particularly enjoyed going through the list of things to do and getting ideas of how to keep things fresh

              Would you mind telling me about the mobile plan please? I haven't considered staying in touch by mobile an option really as I thought it would be pretty extortionate!

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                #8
                https://www.o2.co.uk/internationalfavorites

                International texts cost 10p instead of nearly 40p and it gives you a local number in Canada so when he calls you it's local rate for him and it gives you a local number for him so you can call him without the interantional rates. You can have the bolt on if your on pay as you go or monthly contract.

                The other good deal i have is for a landline,Sky talk! they have a deal where you pay £5 a month for unlimited calls and Canada is included. So you can call your SO free of charge (landline and mobile numbers) you have to hang up and redial after an hour for it to remain free but it saves you an absolute fortune.
                As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

                Comment


                  #9
                  That sounds brilliant, I'm amazed that it can be that cheap! Thank you ever so much

                  Comment


                    #10
                    It really is a great deal, i'm so glad someone on here found out about it and shared it otherwise id have never known. I'm sure you'll find plenty of advice and support around the forum, were all here to help eachother and were a friendly bunch.
                    As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

                    Comment


                      #11
                      It really is a great deal, i'm so glad someone on here found out about it and shared it otherwise id have never known. I'm sure you'll find plenty of advice and support around the forum, were all here to help eachother and were a friendly bunch.
                      As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Wow that must be hard =/
                        My SO lives in Canada and we're doing fine Its just the flights can be expensive >.< It'll get easier, i think its just the inital shock that he is leaving earlier than planned This forum really does do wonders! So many friendly people on here and so much advice
                        I'll always be here if you want to PM me too
                        Goood luck!
                        Oh and welcome! xxx

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Hi Laura

                          It's going to be ok. Just stay positive and smile no matter what. Love always finds a way, even if we can't see it. If you want a friend, I am here.

                          *hugs*

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Hi Xanahtas and kristinab
                            Thank you so much for your reassuring words, they bring me a lot of comfort

                            Also thanks again for the info, leonsfangirl

                            I can't believe in 10 days my boyfriend and I will be saying our goodbyes
                            I've just started my third year at uni and all I want to do is spend every last second with him... What excellent timing lol.

                            Yesterday I bought two really nice matching picture frames, one for each of us, and I put the same picture in each one (the first "coupley" picture we took together). I plan to give him his on the last day. It will be nice to think we have the same picture to look at when we miss each other
                            I get a bit scared that he'll have too much fun over there to miss me though!

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Welcome to LFAD I'm sure you'll find all the support and advice you need from here.

                              Comment

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