How do you do it?

[ntenzer]

My relationship has been a LDR since the beginning. He went to school in Miami and I went to school in Massachusetts. After my freshman year, though, I transferred to Tampa to be a little bit closer to him. He graduated for the year after. Tampa was still 4 hours from Miami but it made it a little bit easier because I saw him a little more often. Now, he left for med school in St. Maarten. So now, he's out of the country. He left this morning and I cried all day. I used to text him non stop all day everyday but now since it's international he doesn't have texting. He's using his iPod touch and the Skype app as his phone, but that obviously only works when he's around wifi which isn't too often. I'm going crazy! I thought I would be used to this since I've been dealing with the distance but this is different and I'm miserable

[lunamea]

Oh, yeah, I can see how that makes a lot of difference. If he studies there, though, he should have/get internet access in his room/apartment or not? If so, I'm sure you'll be able to videochat and textchat, at least when he's home. It will take some time of getting used to but I'm sure you'll be fine, seeing as you have to be a tough cookie because you're already doing LDR for 1.5 years! All the best!

[ntenzer]

Yeah, he has internet access when he's home/on campus. It just leaves me worrying like crazy when he's not since I can't even get in touch with him if I wanted to

[Caitlin2009]

well sadly like some of us you gotta get used to having only contact with him when he's home, and honestly that is easier then texting any day in my opinion

[lunamea]

Perhaps you can set up a schedule for video/textchatting, so you have something to look forward to everyday? Also, it should be for free if he just calls you and lets it ring, so you know everything is ok. My husband does that sometimes when I text him (he can't text back) - instead of a text, he calls me and let's it ring and that tells me everything is fine and he got the text.

[Mio]

I'm sorry at the moment you are now adjusting to this new stage of your relationship, it's always harder at the beggining, and now it will take a few days for him to be settled down and to find easy ways of being able to communicate with you. St. Maarten is pretty modern so I'm sure he will find good internet. But now you are starting this hard process and you can feel as sad as you like now, you'll feel better soon and then when you open your eyes again you will be together again.

[Rach321]

I'm in a similar situation. I can really only email my boyfriend when I want to tell him something immediately. Otherwise, I have to wait for him to be online or to call (which is not every day, and usually only for one 20-30 minute block of time).

It took some time getting used to as we normally spoke 3-4 times a day on the phone, and I always knew I could call him when I wanted to. But I've found as time goes by, it gets easier. I've learned to feel satisfied with writing an email and waiting until he receives it to reply. Patience, and doing your best not to focus on it, is really the only things I can recommend!

[Zephii]

Obi and I never texted much - it was rather expensive and he doesn't really enjoy texting for some reason I as an avid txter can't understand. I found that having a letterbook with me at all times helped ease my urge to text him. Instead I'd pull out my trusty book and write down whatecver it is I would have said. Granted, we only swapped letterbooks ever two months or so, but I knew that somewhere on the other side of the world he was doing a similar kind of thing and for me, that was enough. Maybe you's would benifit from something similar?

Other than that, just give yourself time to adjust. Good luck!

[ntenzer]

I'm in a similar situation. I can really only email my boyfriend when I want to tell him something immediately. Otherwise, I have to wait for him to be online or to call (which is not every day, and usually only for one 20-30 minute block of time).

It took some time getting used to as we normally spoke 3-4 times a day on the phone, and I always knew I could call him when I wanted to. But I've found as time goes by, it gets easier. I've learned to feel satisfied with writing an email and waiting until he receives it to reply. Patience, and doing your best not to focus on it, is really the only things I can recommend!

I agree. Situations like these take a lot of patience. The first day/night I was a mess but yesterday was better and I can just tell today will be better too, I already woke up happier. The nights are the worst, when I'm lonely, wishing he was here to sleep with me, that's when I want to talk to him the most. So, right before I go to bed I email him. It's basically the next best thing. As I'm typing, I just imagine his responses and it helps me fall asleep easier. In the mornings, he emails me back and since he has 8AM classes and I'm on summer vacation, I have an email when I wake up and it's the highlight of my day (besides the times he can call). I know that if we can get through this, we can make it through anything. I want to visit him sometime this Summer but with his busy med school schedule, I don't know if it's going to be possible. He's at registration now so fingers crossed there will be at least a weekend I can go!!

[charlzy]

Hey there, I know exactly how you feel.
My boyfriend and I had to say goodbye last week, we too have been in a LDR practically from the beginning (almost 1.5 years now!). We're not going to see each other again at least until November, which is seven months away... It hurts so much when I think of how long we're gonna have to wait until we're in each other's arms again. I'm so miserable without him and things haven't really gotten much better in the week since we said goodbye. I can't eat or sleep and I miss him so much it's killing me... but I know it'll get better eventually. Just gotta be patient I guess and dream of the day when I'll feel his touch again

[ntenzer]

Hey there, I know exactly how you feel.
My boyfriend and I had to say goodbye last week, we too have been in a LDR practically from the beginning (almost 1.5 years now!). We're not going to see each other again at least until November, which is seven months away... It hurts so much when I think of how long we're gonna have to wait until we're in each other's arms again. I'm so miserable without him and things haven't really gotten much better in the week since we said goodbye. I can't eat or sleep and I miss him so much it's killing me... but I know it'll get better eventually. Just gotta be patient I guess and dream of the day when I'll feel his touch again

Aww we're basically in the same situation! My boyfriend won't be home until December and even then it's only for 2 weeks which he has to see his family, friends, and me in and I'm not sure that's enough time :P The only good thing about med school in St Maarten is that he's done there in 18 months and will be back in the US for good Dec 2011. He then has to do clinical rotations for 2 years in the US to finish up med school but he can do them at a hospital that is up the block from my house in NY! And I might graduate early so I'll be home in NY Dec 2011 for good too so than we can finally be close distance. Things like that are what I look forward to and think about whenever I miss him too much. Try the email thing charlzy, if it's possible for the two of you to have internet connection everyday. It honestly makes my day when I wake up and have an email from him and it's just like talking to him at night when I send my email

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

It's just about adjusting. You've been LDR for a bit now, you (and the relationship) are obviously strong enough to withstand that. I think it's just going to be to find that routine of going about your daily life and talking to him when you can. We do try to talk as much as we can since we never know when they'll decide to deploy them. I think this is just one of those situation where you need to try and keep busy until you fall into the routine of the move.