I need a touch of advice :c

[Anonymouse]

I've been in a LDR for almost the past 3 years, we met last August and I had a blast. We don't live too far from each other, roughly a 26 hour drive. My boyfriend already has a job and is already living on his own (Kind of, he has room mates) Since the trip I've decided it's time for me to start moving towards closing the distance, which would include me getting a job in the end and keeping it until we were both ready. In order for me to set myself on the right track for the present, and the future, I have to go to a place called Job Corps. The place I'm going doesn't allow Camera phones, they don't have Wifi, and if you take your laptop with you, there's a chance that it might be stolen. The time frame that I'd be there for is between 4 ~ 7 months (If not longer, it's self paced so it depends on how long I take.) I'll have my phone so I can always text and call him, but I fear not having a computer. We chat a lot on the computer and losing this line of communication scares me, along with the fact that I'll be sharing a room with 3 other people, so I can't really have intimate moments with him. In a way I am helping myself, and us but I'm terrified that in the middle of me working on this that he decides he wants to break up :c

has anyone else gone through something similar, and does anyone have advice on how I can ensure my relationship lasts through this?
(Before someone says there's no way to ensure such a thing, I want to do everything in my power while I'm away to keep everything together :c)


Sorry if it's so long, I've been stressing over this, and I've told him about it. And he's promised he'd wait for me and that we'd be fine but it still kind of scares me q-q

[Anonymouse]

Bump :c

[thatgirllit]

1) I would like to congratulate you (and encourage you) to invest in yourself. Going through Job Corps rather than just getting an hourly job in an investment in yourself and your future.
2) While I am not incredibly intimate with the Jobs Corps program, my understanding is that they do not provide housing or dormitories. Is the living arrangement you described one that you will enter into on your own so that you can been in the area to participate in this program? Could you not share an apartment and have your own room? While you may not be able to speak with your SO during the day while you are participating in the program (which might be a good thing so you can focus) if you have your own bedroom then you could certainly speak with him at night or in the evenings after you get home. 26 hours is quite a distance if you are driving...about the time it took for me to go from my home in upstate NY to my parents home in Georgia...if I took the bus. Are you on the same coast? Is there a time difference component? Is this the reason you need to speak with him during the day?
3) You and your SO have already survived three years. If you are both committed to your relationship and realize how important this is to your future (and thus the future of the relationship) there should be no reason that you can't survive this.
4) If you are eligible for the Jobs Corps program then you are very young. DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR FUTURE. In a perfect world your relationship with your boyfriend would work out and you would live happily ever after. We don't live in a perfect world. You need to do whatever it takes to make sure you can take care of yourself (be independent) so that, if for whatever reason, your relationship with your SO doesn't work out, that you don't have regrets.
5) You might also use this as an opportunity to be creative. Maybe you guys can't speak via Skype or text constantly, but you might find time during the day to write a letter. Use snail mail and surprise him. Tell him about your week...send him something small. Something that e-mail/texting/Facebook/instant gratification removes from our day to day correspondences is the feeling of anticipation.
6) Ultimately, this might be beneficial to your relationship. You might become more appreciative of the time that you do spend together (although being in an LDR you probably already have a good grasp of that) and when you get into petty arguments or fights in the future when you are together, you can think back to this time when you would have given anything just to be able to bicker and tease your SO.

Best of luck chicke! Do what is best for YOU and YOUR future...it IS ultimately what is best for the relationship.

[Anonymouse]

It depends on which center you go to, Job Corps normally makes the student live on campus, and that's what I'm gonna be doing, he lives in the mid west and I live in the south east, so there's only a 1 hour difference. It's not speaking to him during the day that's worrying me, because we normally call each other at night before bed. Thank you for your words they really made me feel better overall about the situation. I am doing this for my future, and the investment in myself will surely help me in the future regardless of what life throws at me. I greatly appreciate your response, and the snailmail thing is a very good idea. Thank you!