LDR & my BF has NO computer WTF

[Tasia]

I'm so lost. All I have to stay in touch with my boyfriend of 2 years is texting and phone calls. He has no internet or computer. I went from seeing him EVERY DAY to boom not seeing him or getting to talk to him much at all. I guess I have like 50 questions...but I guess what I really want to know is how can we get through this? Most of the ideas on this site are internet based I need tips and ideas non internet based.

[Engel]

Breath.

Now explain propperly your situation and background story if possible.



Some people here survive with just texting and calling for most of the time, when one person in the relationship is without internet. And there are always cyber cafes.


Are you in the same country or not? if in the same, and you have a good texting plan, everything isnt as bad as it may seem now.


And welcome to the forum, by the way.

[Darth_Taco]

I can relate, my boyfriend didn't have internet access for a really long time while we were long distance. Thankfully we still had unlimited phone and texting :P. Hell, try going where he has no cell phone, so you only have infrequent phone calls to rely on xD. On a phone used by everyone else in the house @_@. He found no use for a cell phone until I bitched him into it :P. Best investment I've made him make! D:<

Anyway, I can help. What helped us a lot (when we got texting finally @_@) was that we would text each other throughout the day. To keep it from getting dull, we always made sure to not talk about the shit going on in our lives. Texts messages should never be used for serious conversations because they can be taken out of contex and because of infrequent answers XP. Oh, and autocorrect :P. Anyway, instead we'd just make up a little story and continue it all day. Like one time we ended up holding a baby shower for a dragon :P. Another time we had a wedding for two cats :'D. There was also the time we were "making love" (no sexting, just ridiculous sound effects) and Chewbacca kept interrupting us for pizza. Oh! The time the hyppogriff kidnapped me! Shit like that kept us going for over two years :'D. Hell, we do it now :P. So that way at the end of the day, we'd just call each other and actually talk about our days. It rarely gets dull :'D!

[snow_girl]

Is it because he actually doesn't own a computer or is he somewhere that has no internet access? If you are going to be long distance for a while and its the former then maybe mention to him that buying a cheap computer might be a good investment. If that isn't the case, don't forget that 30 years ago people also had long distance relationships without the use of the internet and they managed. Send lots of letters, talk on the phone, it can be done.

[LilyChiba]

Before my SO was even my SO, I had to put up with losing internet twice in one year for a period of 5-6 weeks. I freaked out so bad, because I was so used to talking to him (crushing big time on him back then). I used every penny I could on internet cafes and if not that, my iphone for yahoo. I didn't have the privilege and still don't, to call his phone since it costs too much. We really solely on yahoo for everything when we're not chatting on the flash chat sites we go to. We did it just fine, despite me going crazy. I've had periods where I've been gone a week or two here and there with again, only my iphone to get ahold of him and before last month, I had never tried to call yahoo wise on the phone. So I didn't even know if I could. Now that I know I can, I could essentially talk to him anywhere. But yeah.. it's harder but not impossible.

[books]

I'm in the same boat and I'd be willing to share how I've been able to cope, even tho I must say it is is extremely difficult and requires a huge amount of patience and commitment to the relationship. My SO lives in rural Nicaragua and doesn't have internet access (home-based internet there costs an insane amount that is not feasible for most people). There is one cyber cafe the next town over, but it has irregular hours (no set schedule) and also is frequently closed due to blackouts (3-4 times a weeks on average). My SO works and by the time he gets out of work, the cyber cafe is closed. This means no internet communication at all for us.

We have been LD since January (were CD before then) and luckily in April, Facebook mobile was introduced where he lives. This allows anyone with a cell phone to access Facebook and send messages as long as their phone has credit. So, this has been the bulk of our communication. I like to think of it as really slow texting (the messages can be really delayed in arriving). The bad thing is if the signal is down, he can't access it at all. I would say this happens an average of 2 times per week. So, it is something that allows us to keep in contact, but also is not a perfect system.

Phone calls are very expensive and I have really looked at all options for cheap international calls. The best rate I have found allows me to make a 50 minute call for $10. We had a set time to talk once a week, but due to recent cell phone issues on his part, our communication via phone has been not been happening as it should. I am trying to stay patient as things get resolved (hopefully). The last time I spoke to him was 10 days ago.

I admit it can be very hard to come to this forum and read about the non-stop skype convos. I do believe everyone on this forum is here for the same reasons and would be willing to offer support and suggestions even if their situation is different.
It would be helpful if you could explain exactly what is the situation with your SO- are you international, do you have unlimited calls, etc.

[Sav88]

Don't worry, in the old days of pen pals it was just hand written letters! And I'm sure through those friendships there were long distance relationships. It does suck that you can't talk to him on the internet but it's not the end of the world. Just make sure you keep in touch by letters, text and phone.

[floridaellen]

My SO does not have internet either and there are no cyber cafes where he lives. With his phone he can access facebook but that's it. No Skype for me.
Every once and a while (it's happened once so far haha) he'll go to his dad's and sneak in some Skype. It was awesome.
It can work! We text throughout the day and always call each other at night. We often send each other picture messages through texting so it's kind of like seeing each other.