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4 Steps To Mending A Broken Heart

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    4 Steps To Mending A Broken Heart

    "Do you ever wonder why it hurts so much when love is lost?

    The art of romance is to give your heart without fear. When it breaks, you become lost with only pieces that remain. It’s a journey of rediscovery and reassembly, as your hands bleed with each piece.


    To mend a broken heart is a process of healing, while emotional wounds are akin to physical. Some say it’s best to keep busy, but at the end, the hurt remains. Rid the poisons that linger, instead of using a temporary fix. It’s about standing tall, even when the world crumbles before your eyes.

    Step One

    Cut all forms of communication. It gives a sense of connection, and getting over requires its removal. Rid yourself from physical memories, items that were significant. Take drastic measures because you have to be ruthless in determination. Make it an instinct by doing what’s necessary without involving your mind with consequences that don’t exist.

    This is disownment. If the phone rings, hang up. If again, do the same. No matter how many times, hang up, or even better, block. Block all known e-mail addresses as well. If you receive e-mails from another account, delete them immediately, emptying the trash altogether and so on. This also goes for online communities. If they come through snail mail, burn without opening.

    You have to take action without giving yourself the chance to think.


    Step Two

    Think logically. Instead of listening to your heart, listen to your mind. Find reasons and make the choice to believe them. Write them down.

    Deny yourself the hope that lingers with the logical reasons you’ve found and listed. Use them to refocus your hopes.

    Stop trying. Choose, because choices are set in stone. There’s a lot less room to back out.

    Time helps nothing. It only provides opportunities to prioritize. What we choose to do with it makes all the difference.

    Step Three

    If you’re unable to eat or sleep, acknowledge the difference between inability and unwillingness. Force yourself to take care of basic needs.

    Take food as you would medication. If you’re eating too much, portion meals and get rid of junk. If you can’t sleep, close your eyes. If you’re not concentrating, think later.

    Don’t give yourself the luxury of self-pity.

    Step Four

    Let yourself cry. Understand it’s simply another way to express feelings and emotions that overflow. Do anything possible to express yourself, through tears, writing, music, etc. Remember the importance of faith.

    Remember that crying isn’t a sign of weakness. Letting your heart out is a crucial step. Why not hurt once and for all and be done with it, instead of continuously?

    Talk to friends and family. Allow them to be your support system. There’s no shame in asking for help.

    Provide the love he won’t return. However much it hurts, you’ll always remain your own best friend. It’s your responsibility to take initiative.

    With getting over someone, you have to be real. Freedom is to continue without focusing on the past. We can neither erase nor avoid the inevitable sorrow. It’s a part of life. We must endure no matter how impossible it seems. Walk through to become a stronger person.

    Never let the pain exist in vain. That someone is the reason you’re in pain, but it still doesn’t take away your responsibility. You’re worth every effort. Deal with it, not because you can or should, but that you have to.

    Realize that even if you’re seemingly denied of it, closure comes from within. When you free yourself from the boundaries of relying on external sources, then and only then will you become more. To understand what it means to believe in yourself, acknowledging that you’re capable.

    It’s hard, but possibility outweighs the impossible. It’s about doing whatever it takes, being resourceful with everything you have; the strength and courage you conjure. Love yourself more because the choice is always yours."

    https://www.datingish.com/718726413/...-broken-heart/
    our story.

    sigpic

    02.02.2012 - When we got married and closed the distance once and for all

    "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

    #2
    I think this article has a lot of good advice. I also don't think there is a formula for getting through a break up. Everyone will have different ways they deal with things, that said, I think this article gives people a good place to start. I followed some of this stuff, didn't follow other parts of it, and still managed to heal. Now I'm in a happy and healthy relationship, so I'm really hoping I don't need to apply this article to anything in the future

    Comment


      #3
      I've found that you definitely need to cut off ALL contact with the person, let yourself feel every emotion, and cry, cry, cry.

      Comment


        #4
        This is a really great post. I wish I had read something like this when I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. Thanks for sharing!

        Comment


          #5
          Fantastic post, Engel! I honestly hope that people read this and really take it into consideration. As hard as it may be to let go, cutting off all contact is so important to beginning to heal, and I cringe when I read so many people attempting to be "friends" after breaking up.
          Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

          Comment


            #6
            I agree, cutting off contact is completely necessary. I became friends with an ex long after we broke up, but we took a year of not talking before we could reach that point.

            Comment


              #7
              These are some really good advices listed. Sometimes the Hardest things to do are the most necessary.

              Comment


                #8
                EVery. Last. One of those. That is how I got over my ex-wife. Some of it was told to me, some of it nobody told me, every bit of my recovery; I own.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Great post! If only I had seen this for my last relationship! Thank you also because I have a friend who desperately needs something like this right now since he believes he can't get over his ex. I've tried to talk to him about it, but I know this will help a lot!
                  "You will always have my heart, no matter how far we're apart" ~ Jacob

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Ok...did you post this just for me Engel??? lol....seriously i appreciate this. I'm still in the thick of it...and any advice towards healing from heartbreak..i just soak it up. I wish I could just stop THINKING about him. Every waking minute it seems.....and UPON waking as well. even while drifting off to sleep...and I know that he should not have even the smallest place in my heart..yet a place for him remains.
                    Thank you for this post.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Moon View Post
                      Fantastic post, Engel! I honestly hope that people read this and really take it into consideration. As hard as it may be to let go, cutting off all contact is so important to beginning to heal, and I cringe when I read so many people attempting to be "friends" after breaking up.
                      Thank you, I didnt write it, but as sometimes I see really nice gentle people here dealing with break ups and broken hearts, I thought it was worthy sharing, and I hope it can help someone.


                      I also think that cutting contact is the most important thing to do, at least at the begin, and until you are both really over each other, no contact should be attempted

                      ---------- Post added at 04:47 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:45 AM ----------

                      Originally posted by LuvSsw View Post
                      Ok...did you post this just for me Engel??? lol....seriously i appreciate this. I'm still in the thick of it...and any advice towards healing from heartbreak..i just soak it up. I wish I could just stop THINKING about him. Every waking minute it seems.....and UPON waking as well. even while drifting off to sleep...and I know that he should not have even the smallest place in my heart..yet a place for him remains.
                      Thank you for this post.
                      Hi dear, I must admit you were one of the people from the forum that came to my mind when I read it. You deserve to be happy and get over him. <3
                      our story.

                      sigpic

                      02.02.2012 - When we got married and closed the distance once and for all

                      "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Engel View Post
                        Hi dear, I must admit you were one of the people from the forum that came to my mind when I read it. You deserve to be happy and get over him. <3
                        Biggest Hug EVER

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by LuvSsw View Post
                          Biggest Hug EVER


                          *Hugs back*

                          ---------- Post added at 11:08 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:07 AM ----------

                          Originally posted by LuvSsw View Post
                          Biggest Hug EVER


                          *Hugs back*
                          our story.

                          sigpic

                          02.02.2012 - When we got married and closed the distance once and for all

                          "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Engel this is so helpful. THANK YOU! These are so helpful wish I had found this sooner.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              This is a great article. But I wouldn't be able to cut contact with my old SO. Plenty of reasons why, not going to post them publicly, but for me that point doesn't quite cut it. Everything else though is pretty much spot on with what I was thinking only a short while ago to help me get over what happened between us.

                              Comment

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