HOMEWRECKERRRRRR WANNABE. advice, please?

[sweetshine]

Some women are idiots and I hate Facebook. You are not going to make my FIANCE love you .... nice try though . ps. send me some of that special ganja you have been smoking.

k, thanks.

Anyone else ever had a problem like this? How did you handle it? I hate the fact that I live 4,000 miles away from my fiance, but trust him 100% percent... just not the bimbos. ..Did I mention she has a boyfriend?????

my god my anger went to an all time high about 10 min ago.

Sorry, just a bunch of piffed off emotions/thoughts smashed together.

[megfashion]

hugs.

yes, been there too. it was hard talking to the SO about it (he was rather stressed out at the time so had a short fuse) but it had to be talked about...

it is much easier to trust your SO, and even that the girl is completely harmless, if you ask him stuff like "what if she says _____" etc...

for example, i asked him what he would do if she edged closer to him (in a flirty way).... he said he would slam her to the ground and walk away :P



lots of hugs, communication is key in this. X

[snow_girl]

First off he wouldn't be your fiance if he didn't want to marry you. Who cares if girls throw themselves at him, if you trust him 100% then why are you so uptight about it? Your SO is a big boy he can deal with it, don't let someone who clearly has no chance get you so riled up.

[LilyChiba]

Yeah I've had to deal with a few in the last 2 years, one of them tried with my good friends too. I told my SO how I felt about her and what was going on every step of the way between all 7 people involved at the time. But hey, he's still with me over a year later. If its meant to be, its meant to be.

[squirrelz15]

Trust is a big thing when it comes to things like this. I am not a trusting person, but trusting my SO isn't an option. It is easy to get jealous and wonder at times with the distance, but even when I start to wonder I ask myself if I trust him. If you trust him, it shouldn't really matter how these other girls are acting, because you should trust that he will react in an appropriate way to their advances. That is really all you can do. We can't just make the other girls go away, we just have to trust our SO to make the right decision (this is coming from a girl who's been cheated on at least 2 times that I know about), so I do know it's not easy to trust, but not trusting can destroy a relationship pretty quickly to.

[Dziubka]

First off he wouldn't be your fiance if he didn't want to marry you. Who cares if girls throw themselves at him, if you trust him 100% then why are you so uptight about it? Your SO is a big boy he can deal with it, don't let someone who clearly has no chance get you so riled up.

^ word.

I don't understand your reaction at all.
If you really trust your boyfriend, then what are you getting so worked up about? So someone posted something on his facebook wall? Big deal!
I post cutesy things on my male friends facebook walls, too. One of my friends cleaned up the remains of a dead pigeon that had been lying on my balcony (I was too grossed out to do something about that) and I posted that he was my hero.
In all honestly, if he had a girlfriend and she'd have a similar reaction to yours about that... I would tell him to get out of the relationship asap.

Maybe they're not the 'bimbos' who want to make your fiance love them, after all?!

[nicole]

I've dealt with this before, and the best reaction is no reaction at all.

Let them prove to him by themselves what kind of person they are. You do not need to step in at all. I had one of his ex's being bitchy and nasty towards me as well as another acting all crazy, I just kept quiet (even though I was seething on the inside), because why would he give me up, the one who supports him and stands by him, for someone who can be that nasty and manipulative? Trust your SO, he'll figure it out on his own and act accordingly.

[Kerry]

OMG... I sooooo know what you're going thru! right after my bf and I went public on facebook all of these women who were his or our friends started to attack me and our relationship. they'd attack me and say that I wasn't the right woman for him. some of these women we only met thru facebook and others were his real-life friends. then he'd tell them to stop and that he was with me and that was it. it took MONTHS for some of them to finally get the message. they'd send him all kinds of PMs trashing me and he finally had enough and blocked them all. what's funny is these women never dated my bf and are all either married or in a relationship. it's been sooo much better for us since he blocked them all. he doesn't like to block anyone but he told them all repeatedly that if they continued to attack me that was going to happen. they didn't stop and we both blocked them.

we're not engaged yet but once we are a part of me can't wait until they all find out! lol

[krabuzh]

My only advice, don't let all of it get into you and consumed your energy for an anger.

You said you trust him, then that is. And I believe that he's also love you nevertheless he wouldn't be your fiancee.

If you don't like Facebook then don't open it and read the comment on it.
Apart from how "idiot" a person can be, still it's their right to post anything they like on it since it's a free site and no rules that forbid them to write a negative comment.

So calm down...
It's not that worth to waste your energy over that, knowing that in the end it's your loss because you let them influenced your emotion.

[annb8888]

Yea I had those issues before, I told my SO that I trust him but I don't trust the girls around him - being in college and all. Yea there are some girls who post on his wall and I sometimes see it as flirting with him but somehow I didn't really throw a fit. I asked him about it and he told me that not all wall posts are flirting, they're just really friends with him.

I went to that conversation where I asked "what if she ---" and "what if she ..." and you know what his answer was? "I never thought of it that way but since you brought it up, it's in my mind now." and he got upset about it.

Never give your SO situations that are possible, chances are, they aren't even thinking about it at all! And you might just inject a poisonous thought in his head. For weak personalities, these may pose as a problem.

So just calm down. Your 100% trust in your SO will work for you. You don't need to do anything else but love him fully. Besides, haven't you heard? Men in relationships are 10x more attractive to women because they possess the "commitment" quality that women are dying for. You're lucky you laid your claim on your man - every other girl is just jealous you have him.

cheer up!

[11MikesGirl21]

I get where you're coming from. I trust my SO completely but I don't trust other girls. There have been a few since we started the distance that have tried to get him. It bothers me and it bothers my SO. What makes me feel better is the fact that 1) my SO makes a point of telling me if something ever happens he doesn't hide it even though he knows telling me upsets me--if he was hiding it, it'd be completely different and 2) he's doing the distance thing with ME, not them. I highly doubt he would continue to do something he completely HATES if he wasn't in love with me and in the relationship completely.

If you keep thinking about that you'll be able to deal better. That's what helps my SO and I. We're both very jealous and possessive of eachother, not the best thing with a LDR, but we can't help it, it's just how we are. Reminding ourselves constantly that they other person is with US and going the distance with US helps us not be so crazy.

[sscop]

Don't worry about dumb girls! Like other said, you are engaged to him for a reason. If you trust him and know he wouldn't do anything than don't let this girl bother you.
I have had situations like this but the key is to just communicate with your man. If you are able to talk about these issues, than you can both stay strong through this. Reassure him that if the roles reversed how you would handle and make sure he feels the same way. The only thing you can do is communicate how you feel. If he knows how this is bothering you, then he should know just how to make you feel better. Good Luck!

ps. You must have a good guy if she's going so far out of her way to get him. But obviously you've got him, even from that far away, so you are the real winner!

[Jgui]

First off he wouldn't be your fiance if he didn't want to marry you. Who cares if girls throw themselves at him, if you trust him 100% then why are you so uptight about it? Your SO is a big boy he can deal with it, don't let someone who clearly has no chance get you so riled up.

I agree win snow_girl..! Don't let others affect your emotion. Especially when it's something you clearl have the upper hand of

[Riyko]

I agree with snow_girl, but i also have to say when i was engaged to my ex, i said the same damn thing I trust him 100%, but i don't trust the other girls. You know what i realized, by saying i trust him 100%, but i don't trust the other girls was that I didn't fully trust him 100%. The reason for that is if I trust him 100%, I don't have anything to worry about with the other girls because i would trust that he wouldn't do anything with another one of the girls even if they tried to make moves on him.

[Bobbiejeanne]

I hate to be the negative Nancy on this thread... but I did have this happen to me once, and I was right.

The girl that was in question was the other woman in the relationship, and she suddenly took an interest in my boyfriend. He kept telling me "No! She isn't like that, she's just friendly" and I still didn't like it that she was already a homewrecker (dating a married man! Ick) and that she seemed all.... touchy in pictures of the two of them together.
And then one day he went by her dorm to say hi, and she full on THREW herself at him... which he thought was weird and rude to me, so he left the room and has since restricted his time with her. (even more so sense current happenings, but that's another story entirely)

If you're gut is screaming at you this girl seems off, just talk to your fiance! He can keep an eye out for weird stuff. Guys can be super oblivious sometimes.

And once you talk to him... forget about it! It's for him to be watching, not you.