My Past Abusive Relationship is Going to Destroy My Current Relationship

[Alemap]

Well, if he agrees that your expectations are perfectly reasonable, I'm afraid I can't think why he'd be behaving in a way that falls short of them when he knows it bothers you.
It seems really inconsiderate. Beyond that, actually, it seems callous.

[Minerva]

I'd appreciate not being accusing of putting a curfew on my boyfriend, or being controlling, because I'm not.

I didn't say you were controlling; in fact, in my post I said, "I don't think you're controlling or a bully."

You tend to read my posts in ways I don't mean; this isn't the first time. I can only conclude that I'm not capable of communicating what I mean to you. Thus I will bow out from further replies so as to save you any upset.

Best to you.

[Sierra]

I didn't say you were controlling; in fact, in my post I said, "I don't think you're controlling or a bully."

You tend to read my posts in ways I don't mean; this isn't the first time. I can only conclude that I'm not capable of communicating what I mean to you. Thus I will bow out from further replies so as to save you any upset.

Best to you.

No actually, you are right, and the problem is mine. I am a speed reader and tend to take away the words I find "meaningful" to make sense of a paragraph instead of sentence.

I saw what I wanted to see but reading it slowly made me realize you said something completely different. My apologies to you.

[Moon]

Sierra, I might be mixing you up with another member, but is it your boyfriend who recently decided to get into the restaurant business? If you, you should know that drinking plays very heavily into that industry. The employees always hang out and get drunk together, that's restaurant culture. I'm not saying it's right, or good, or anything other than letting you know that, in case you weren't aware. You might run into real trouble with his career choice in the future being so opposed to drinking. Just something to think/talk about.

[Sierra]

Sierra, I might be mixing you up with another member, but is it your boyfriend who recently decided to get into the restaurant business? If you, you should know that drinking plays very heavily into that industry. The employees always hang out and get drunk together, that's restaurant culture. I'm not saying it's right, or good, or anything other than letting you know that, in case you weren't aware. You might run into real trouble with his career choice in the future being so opposed to drinking. Just something to think/talk about.

Yes, that is him.
The drinking thing with his friends is "newer", they would just play video games, or cards before. But that is good information to know. He knows I'm displeased with it and we'll see where he goes with it from there.

I did tell him that if he expected me to move there and spend time with him in bars he better realize that was not my scene now and he understood.

At the end of the day, I KNOW he means well. He doesn't mean to hurt me, he just makes mistakes sometimes, just like I make mistakes too. I know if we work harder at communication, instead of letting things blow up, the easier it'll be easier.

[floridaellen]

Sierra, I might be mixing you up with another member, but is it your boyfriend who recently decided to get into the restaurant business? If you, you should know that drinking plays very heavily into that industry. The employees always hang out and get drunk together, that's restaurant culture. I'm not saying it's right, or good, or anything other than letting you know that, in case you weren't aware. You might run into real trouble with his career choice in the future being so opposed to drinking. Just something to think/talk about.

That is very true. Excellent point. This may force you to be around more drinking than you'd like.