changing career plans to be near her

[littleoldme]

ok so i need some advice or opinions or whatever
if im honest im kicking myself for even allowing the thought in to my head
anyway in February i am due to go off to university to study landscape architecture before this year i had never heard of it then i got it in my head (as i do with many things) that it was what i wanted to do. and yes it does really interest me i love art and design and that kinda stuff and all my subjects at school in the past few years have lead me to this sort of career but then last few days i started thinking about an old dream of mine to be a primary school teacher and then i started second guessing my decision then i though if i did teaching i could move up north to near where my SO is and study teaching there i think this is the biggest thing that is causing my unsureness she is my world and i just want to be near her ... i just dont know im so lost and confused oh year to make it even harder i received a $1800 scholarship to do landscape design and have applied to been excepted and sent in my conformation to live in the halls of residence at the place i would study landscape architecture...

[snow_girl]

I think you might end up kicking yourself even more if you didn't do what you really wanted in order to be with your SO. I completely understand your eagerness to be close to them but if you give up something you want to do for them, then resentment can become an issue. I can't imagine that course is more then a year or two? In the long run two more years LD isn't the worst thing in the world. When you look back at it it will just be a little bump in the road of your relationship. I think that if you really want to do the landscape thing then do it, you already have a scholarship which is awesome! You might not always be with your SO so make sure you are doing something that you will still enjoy if something were to happen to you two. I can't really tell you what to do except follow your heart and do what is best for you and what you know will make you happy.

[littleoldme]

its 4 years... and its not totally about SO but then is at the sametime... idk...

[squirrelz15]

As hard as it is, you need to leave your SO out of the decision making process on this. You need to do what you need to do for yourself. If you've wanted to do landscape architecture for a long time I would say do that. I understand the desire to be a teacher to though, and if that's what you wanted to do then that would be ok too. I guess I would think of your decision this way, if going to school near your SO was not an option, which career path would you choose? Also, I don't think choosing your career path/school based on your SO is always the best decision, because then if for some reason you didn't work out you would have given up your dream without a reason, and if your SO and you are meant to be together, odds are they'll still be there, even through the distance when you're done with school. Best of luck.

[megfashion]

As hard as it is, you need to leave your SO out of the decision making process on this. You need to do what you need to do for yourself. If you've wanted to do landscape architecture for a long time I would say do that. I understand the desire to be a teacher to though, and if that's what you wanted to do then that would be ok too. I guess I would think of your decision this way, if going to school near your SO was not an option, which career path would you choose? Also, I don't think choosing your career path/school based on your SO is always the best decision, because then if for some reason you didn't work out you would have given up your dream without a reason, and if your SO and you are meant to be together, odds are they'll still be there, even through the distance when you're done with school. Best of luck.

This.


the SO and i are doing completely different career paths... him mechanical engineering leading to crash testing, me to clinical psychology ending up working in a mental hospital or something.

he is also living in plymouth right now. he could have chosen somewhere nearer, there are plenty of places that do, but he chose the uni he wanted and is subsequently happier.

if you chose a career path that you didnt want to do, and then your SO decided to break it off, where would you be? the best advice would be do what YOU want to do, because in the end if you arent happy in what you are doing most likely itll affect your relationship too

[lucybelle]

If you didn't even know your SO, would you still want to be a teacher? You need to decide what you want to do, without the influence of where your SO is.

[ioanna]

First of all welcome to LFAD :-)
Like my fellow LFADers have said before me, it is important that you make this decision for yourself. My SO and I are LD mostely because of our career choises and this resuls in a five year separation. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but for both of us it was clear that this was the right thing to do. I'm an architect, and my so is pursuing a masters in the US. As much as my SO is important to me, i wouldn't be ME if ididn't pursue this profession. It somewhat defines me. It sometimes feels like we've put our couple life on hold, but we both are aware that if we hadn't chosen this route we'd end up resenting eachother. And we're not just starting adulthood, we're 26 and 30. Seeing you're just starting out your adult life, it would be very wise to do a lot of introspection to find out what profession you really want to do, regardless of your situation. (I didn't want to play the 'you're young card' but here i am doing it.... please don't take it pejoratively.. it's just that you have so much learning about yourself to come..)
Also, maybe you can put your studies on hold for a bit and find an internship in a landscape architecture firm near your SO, this would give you the opportunity to familiarise yourself with the profession and help you make your carreer choice while being near your SO for a while...
Best of luck to you

[Pineapplebun]

I would have to agree with all the above posters. I think Ioanna really brought up a good point, since I can relate to that personally as I graduated with a four year degree and well, I'm no longer pursuing it. I liked it but it wasn't my calling. Now I'm not saying that you'll be like me, but if I had to do it all over again, I wish I had internshipped or gained some real life experience in the profession to really decide if it was the best fit. Also, considering the prevalence it seems that it is quite common (not everyone), but it does seem that the 20's are a time of self-discovery and self-acceptance. There's a lot of options out there, and sometimes things sound very good but the ups and downs that arise on the job, that aren't mentioned in class or on paper can really be a determining factor. This somewhat reminds me of a thread that was on here recently about things you should know by 25ish and one of them was realizing that there is no hurry to find your dream job! Also, it could help save you tons of money to not rush into a career xD

[littleoldme]

i think i have decided to do at least 1st year landscape design since ive already got the scholarship and have commited to living in halls...
also i think even if my SO wasn't part of the decision i would still consider teaching it was what i wanted to do for many years but then the idea of landscape design came in and pushed it aside and i didnt let myself consider it i needed to know what i wanted to do as i was in final year of school and was scared of leaving and not knowing, i think i should have taken more time but its ok i think i will enjoy landscape design and if not or if i dont do so well next year then i can go into teaching because at the moment i really like the idea of both but when i start the cause maybe that spark will come back and i will remember why i chose landscape design because i did go the university open day and heard a talk about landscape design and i remember been so sure about it. i think i just need to do it and then i will be ok.
thank you for all the replys its greatly appreciated