Am I still too overbearing?

[stebbinsd]

You guys often criticize me for calling my Filipina fiance stupid. First of all, let it be known that, aside from when her stupidity causes problems, I kinda find it cute. Sometimes, it's pathetic, but a majority of time, it's cute, in a little girl kind of way. That's why I still love her.

Today, though, I think I have a justification for being so upset at her.

I bought her a netbook on Ebay. DHL (the Filipino equivalent to UPS) told her that they still needed some kind of customs fee (about 2,100 pesos). I told her to tell them to bill it to the Ebay seller's export account number. She came back to me, today, and said that they said they still needed to clarify in Manila.

"What does that mean, honey?"
"I asked them to bill it to the account number like you said babe."
"WILL YOU PLEASE ANSWER THE QUESTION?!"

Honestly, is it really, truly, too much to ask for her to just answer the damned question?

Oh, and don't give me any crap about how I "Didn't give her enough time to answer." She typed it, so she had plenty of time to type it without getting interrupted.

Why is that too much to ask? I ask questions in search of information! Is it too much to ask that she just gives me the information I seek?

[MadMolly]

I'm struggling to understand why you don't talk to her about this. It seems you are becoming absolutely enraged about the smallest things which is just ridiculous. Chill. Out. You have some serious anger issues and you need to talk to her about her/your communication problems and not blow up in her face for the tiniest reasons. Here is how it should have gone:

"What does that mean, honey?"
"I asked them to bill it to the account number like you said babe."
"Sorry I mean what did you mean about them clarifying it in Manila?"

and not have a massic spazz attack at her!

[stebbinsd]

I'm struggling to understand why you don't talk to her about this.

I do.

It seems you are becoming absolutely enraged about the smallest things which is just ridiculous.

They begin to add up, nickle and dime.

This is not just a series of isolated incidents. She seems to lack even the most basic of common sense.

Chill. Out.

I've got the air conditioner on right now.

You have some serious anger issues and you need to talk to her about her/your communication problems

I do.

[MadMolly]

So what suggestions are you looking for here? If someone pisses you off that badly, then it's time to look at the relationship from a distance and decide if it's worth it. My boyfriend does plenty of things that get on my nerves but that is my problem, not his, and it's up to me to deal with it. Getting angry at him doesn't achieve anything - getting angry at your girlfriend will only make her resent you.

[Alisz]

Um, is this a question or a rant? fo_O

I don't know you or what your relationship is like. I mean, I've read your posts and replied to some of them, but I don't think I'm in a position to judge whether or not you treat your fiancee well. :/ But like MadMolly said, you just need to relax and calm down. I often ask questions to people that I thought were quite specific, but they thought were very vague, so we have a bit of a communication problem. Usually it's along the lines of, "I was at the grocery store." "What did you get?" "Food." I think it's obvious that I meant, "What kind of food did you get?" because I figured that it was some sort of food. ^^;;

But for what it's worth, your responses remind me of one of my exes. We seemed to be on different pages all the time. He would ask me questions and I would answer them, but not the way he would've liked. I knew he wanted to ask a series of questions, but I thought it'd be easier if I just explain everything so he wouldn't have to. Midway he'd get irritated that I wasn't answering his specific question and wouldn't listen to anything else I was saying because he was so hung up on that one thing. So, I guess my advice would be to sometimes listen to what she has to say before jumping the gun? Maybe be a little more patient with her.