I'm starting to feel some doubts...

[Daylan]

I don't want to come out and say it to her because it's really close to the holiday's, but I'm starting to feel some doubts about me and my SO. As of late, it feels as though I'm doing all the work in the relationship and she's just doing her thing. I'm sure she's just busy though because she's working during her break from school (and I'm sure she works sometimes after school...I don't know...she hasn't told me anything). I'll give an example:

A few days ago I recorded a video of myself saying how much I miss her and everything and I told her about the Christmas gift that I'm *hoping* I'll be able to send to her (I'm not so sure now because I haven't got it yet and she lives a long way...I sent a handwritten letter once and it took three weeks...imagine what a package could take). I also told her how I read that it's a good thing for both people to send pictures and/or video of their everyday lives so that way they can have stuff to talk about. I figured this would be a good idea because we hardly text each other anymore....we especially don't text each other like we use to. 4 months and things has really slowed down....I hate it. I hate it so much because deep down inside I really love her and it's just getting more and more difficult everyday and every time I think about it. I don't want to, but it's so hard now not to notice. She's just so beautiful both inside and out...I miss her voice, her laugh, her eyes....almost makes me want to cry because I've never felt like this before and it just stings a little. I should ask her because she told me at one point that if I have anything to say, say it to her. But, I feel if I do that, then I'm bugging her and she wouldn't like that. I told myself that I would be the best boyfriend I could possibly be...but it's getting harder and harder to be perfect.

Can anyone just comfort me and tell me that it's going to be alright, or is there just some kind of truth I need to know? I really do love her with all of my heart. And she told me when she finished watching the video that she loved me so very much and that we were always and forever soul mates. I believe her...but...I don't know.

[Zapookie]

I'm not sure if I can give you any comforting words, because life isn't always 100% certain. I can't say that everything is going to be alright, because I don't know the future.

What I can say is that you need to talk to her about it. I'm pretty sure I recall saying the same thing to you before. Communciation is numero uno in a relationship.

Or you know this could be all in your head. But you won't know unless you talk to her about this and let her know how you're feeling. It's not good to bottle up these types of things, especially when they can indirectly affect the other person in the relationship.

If you feel that you're doing all the texting/calling and whatnot, maybe just back off for a few days and let her come to you. Give yourselves time to miss each other. Don't go on a "break", I don't feel that those are entirely necessary, but just relax in trying to contact her all the time. I read in one of your posts that told you she found you clingy. So give her space and see what happens.

[Mara]

You don't need to be perfect, you just need to be you.

I would tell her how you feel, but not in accusing way or telling her you are having doubts. I would just say that you miss communicating with her as much as you did and you feel you both should put more effort into things such as videos, sending photos, texting more, etc.

Communication is key in any relationship.

[HollzHeartsChris]

You need to get a hold of her and have a really good chat with her about what's bothering you and tell her how you feel. Just ask her if there's anyway she could try and set aside some time for you both so that you both get time together. I'm sure if she's busy working then her work commitments are just making it difficult for her to find time but even if she can only find 1 hour, it's better than nothing. Like the other guys have said, communication is key in a relationship. Hopefully she can find a compromise, best of luck.

[squirrelz15]

What everyone else said. Its not an easy conversation to have but it's necessary, and at least then you will know where you guys stand. Best of luck.

[Bethypoo]

The thing is, we dont know if it will be alright. We dont know anything about the future.

What I do know, is that if you are having doubts, then you need to tell her. Just telling her DOES NOT mean that you are breaking up. And maybe she is busy. But you just need to talk to her. Use the holiday as a time to really get back into the wring of things. Use it as a time to remember why you are together.

You just need to talk to her, doubts will build more doubts and the longer you let them fester the worse they become and if it turns out that she is just busy, it will be harder for you to believe her and again, will just cause more problems.

[Ms.Justine]

First of all you seem like a real sweetheart and I believe you are truly trying to make things work. BUT no one is perfect so you can only do so much don't over exasperate yourself it will only end up hurting you more and hurting the relationship. Honestly, talk to her about it let her know your concerns and how it's making you feel. You'll feel a lot better and she'll at least know that what she is doing is causing you pain. Thus, causing her to make a chance for the best or perhaps and lets hope not make a change for the worst. Maybe she is just busy right now and has a lot going on - however I feel that doesn't give her an excuse to not even shoot you a text from time to time or an email explaining what she's going through. It is evident that she needs to put some more effort in if she wants this relationship to work.

I know what your feeling I felt the EXACT same way with my ex and honestly I know it is painful but if she isn't going to put in the effort you deserve someone who will without being forced or nagged to do so. And believe me someone with a personality and a heart like yours will find that someone if your gal isn't the one. Let's just hope she bucks up and makes a change for the best.

It'll be okay one way or another. You have all of our support and feel free to PM anytime!

Hope this helped.

[Daylan]

First of all you seem like a real sweetheart and I believe you are truly trying to make things work. BUT no one is perfect so you can only do so much don't over exasperate yourself it will only end up hurting you more and hurting the relationship. Honestly, talk to her about it let her know your concerns and how it's making you feel. You'll feel a lot better and she'll at least know that what she is doing is causing you pain. Thus, causing her to make a chance for the best or perhaps and lets hope not make a change for the worst. Maybe she is just busy right now and has a lot going on - however I feel that doesn't give her an excuse to not even shoot you a text from time to time or an email explaining what she's going through. It is evident that she needs to put some more effort in if she wants this relationship to work.

I know what your feeling I felt the EXACT same way with my ex and honestly I know it is painful but if she isn't going to put in the effort you deserve someone who will without being forced or nagged to do so. And believe me someone with a personality and a heart like yours will find that someone if your gal isn't the one. Let's just hope she bucks up and makes a change for the best.

It'll be okay one way or another. You have all of our support and feel free to PM anytime!

Hope this helped.

I've sent her a message on skype earlier this morning (10am or something) after sending her all of my pictures that I've been taking of my daily life telling her how I felt. I basically told her that I appreciate her telling me when she's going to take a nap or going to work, but I feel as though as I'm being neglected and It's not fair to me that she talks to all of her friends all the damn time and doesn't even give me 10 minutes before she has to go to nap. And you know what? She always tells me that she'll text me later, yet does she? No...I'm the one who always starts the text, and by the time she does respond, she goes and takes a nap. Sure, she's tired for work or whatever, but so am I and I'm willing to...you know, I'm not ever going to start that. Bottom line is I'm tired of not getting the attention that I *DESERVE* because I'm doing all of this for her, the least she can do is, I don't know, give me about more than 10 freakin minutes of her time. Maybe I'm being an asshole because I'm not taking in all the perspectives, yet at the same time, I don't know what's going on because she NEVER TELLS ME.

I'm sorry for going on a rant, but....I'm just so damn frustrated...I'm tired of being taken for granted. I sent her that message on skype saying how I felt (while not as harsh sounding as it does on here, it still got the point across) and I'm not going to text her. I'm going to let her miss me and if she doesn't, then fine...I'm done. If she does, we have some serious issues to fix if we want our relationship to work. This is the first time I'm taking the initiative and it feels good....anyway, thanks for all the help guys...if you have anything else to add or say, please do so

[Daylan]

Turns out it was a huge misunderstanding...I completely jumped to conclusions and I apologize for that. I'm sorry to waste your time. This thred is D. O. N. E.