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    Insane ex

    Since I broke up with my ex six months ago after 3 years of relationship, he keeps trying to get me back, which is hopeless as I don't love him anymore, and I told him so.
    Today I was webcaming with my SO, when suddenly my door bell rang. As I could see from the window, it was my ex. Coming out of nowhere as we didn't talk for weeks. I didn't open the door. He kept ringing as he noticed I was home. I'm living in the first floor, my parents live downstairs. The apartments are connected by a corridor. When my bell finally stopped ringing, I thought he had given up. But no, he rang the bell downstairs. As my dad doesn't know much about the situation with me and him he opened the door. Soon my ex knocked at my door. Filled with so much rage I opened the door and asked him what he wanted. He asked whether he can come in to which I replied no, I'm busy. His next question is whether there is someone inside and argh I know I should have said yes or that it is not his business. Instead I said no and send him away.
    What makes everything worse is that my SO twigged that. He felt annoyed and helpless as he is too far to "kick that guy's ass". We talked it over and we are fine now but what I need is an advice how to deal with my ex. I know I could just show no reaction or make him feel all my anger by shouting at him, insulting him, but that's just not my style. I'm thinking about words that will finally reach him. My attempt so far:

    After what happened today I feel deeply attacked in my privacy. I decided that I don't want to stay in contact with people who control me and have the intention to make me feel constrained to justify myself when there is no point to do so.

    Any advice?

    #2
    Cut him off completely. Tell your parents you don't want to see him, that you're done and that he is somewhat harassing you. Change your phone number, if possible, or block his phone from being able to reach yours. Delete and block all instant messenger names, e-mail accounts, etc, that you had contact with him through, block him from your facebook. This may seem harsh but if he's still bugging you that much harsh measures should be taken.

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      #3
      i agree with the above, you can get an injunction against him from the police if he carries on harrassing you.

      Comment


        #4
        Ok ok, won't use words but actions. Sounds legit. Thanks for that pretty easy solution which I somehow didn't consider being filled with so much emotion.

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          #5
          I would use the words first - keep it short and simple. "I refuse to have any more contact with you, especially after you invaded my privacy." Then let your actions prove your words - block all forms of contact.

          If he harrases you at your home again, dont speak to him. Simply call the police and tell them he is harrasing you and wont leave.

          So sorry your having to deal with this idiot. Be strong, be consistent and eventually he'll get the message. I hope soon rather than later.
          Tea and hugs make the world go round - don't ever discount the little things in life.


          Smiling away to oneself brings an obscene amount of joy when only you know the reason why your smiling. Pick something secret to smile about and let it light up your face all day long!

          And remember....Love really IS all around.

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            #6
            The first thing you should do is tell your parents never to let him in to see you anymore.
            our story.

            sigpic

            02.02.2012 - When we got married and closed the distance once and for all

            "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

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              #7
              What everyone else said. Tell him that you want no contact (which it kinda sounds like you already have), and then just block all forms. It's really all you can do. If it continues beyond that, then go to the police. Good luck!

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                #8
                Agreed with everything that's been said. Use words first and if that doesn't work, get the police involved, you don't deserve to be treated like this.

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                  #9
                  "You are no longer a part of my life. It is over, and I have moved on. I suggest you do so as well. Now, leave me alone."
                  If he doesn't acede to your wishes after such a plain instruction, then you are within your rights - even if he isn't violent, but just distresses you - to take legal action to make him do so.

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